ā½Ā ā¢ Ā āĀ p l e a s u r eĀ is a familiar concept to himĀ ā he has tastedĀ it, salt and saccharine, on the swollen lips of his clients; he has feltĀ it, soft and sensual, in the gentle caress of a fleeting lover. pleasure is a song, a sweet symphony of sensation; and he, a v i r t u o s o. a hedonist. but for all that he does indulge, both in himself and others, christopher has never known a pleasure quite like this. fitting, he supposes, for there isnāt another in his life quite like lord lockheart, the only man granted the permission to l i n g e r in his boudoir long after the drapes have been pulled and the candles blown out. the only man who need not payĀ for satisfaction, for his l o v e. and oh, what a beautiful, what an intimateĀ love it is; ever the adventurer, there is not a single expanse of taut, tan skin on his body that christopher has left unexplored. untouched. unworshipped.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā his touch is gentle as it traces feather-light floral designs across his loverās bare chest, head resting in the soft slope of his shoulder as fingers card through his hair and twirl absently through curls mussed from his pillows. the sensation alone is enough to draw a contented hum from rose-stained lips, slow and honeyed. oh, what he wouldnāt give to bottle this moment like a sweet perfume, to press it like petals between the pages of a diary so that he might hold onto it f o r e v e r.Ā Ā ā Ā if ever my bed remains empty long enough.Ā āĀ Ā he answers thaddeus with a soft breath of a laugh, fingertips trailing along his collarbone as he lifts affectionate eyes to meet the other manās warm, mahogany gaze.Ā āĀ though i imagine it would be far better if y o uĀ were here, coincidentally.Ā Ā ā
the actions that lead a man to CONQUER the affections of a harlot -- sweetness set aside, the boy is nothing but another whoreĀ playing the game of life with whatever cards he has left -- are a staircase of steep steps. thankfully, thaddeus has long legs and no OBSTACLE is vast enough to end him, to HALT him. how does one acquire the ENDEARMENT, then? an easy feat: humanize them. give them a taste of importance, of self worth -- make them BELIEVE they are something more than what they are. never has thaddeus called christopher for what he is -- instead he baptizes him PARAMOUR, lover in the dark, and smiles as if the boy matters. smiles as if he CARES. he provides meals and clothes. he weaves a web of worship that is hardly true and lays his heart at christopherās feet. or perhaps the heart is someone elseās; someone heād stolen it from. a thing this PURE could surely never be thaddeusā. soft touches and whispered midnight confessions are not truly in his nature.
it is not difficult to be SELFLESS. to play the part of a devotee and run hands across the boyās skin with PURPOSE, with dedication. it is not hard to pretend, even when every act goes against thaddeusā very character. it IS NOT. and it is so because the lord is quite aware that what he will get in return means more than what he is giving. whatever losses he experiences in these exchanges are overshadowed by the GAINS. he is a man of cold calculation and preciseness; he does not take RISKS before solidifying his stance first. and christopher -- saccharine, lovely christopher -- is not someone he DIGESTS with any degree of strain. if anything, itās a pleasureĀ to taste each inch of him; to be aware of how much territory he owns. theyāre not that different, not in the grand SCALE of things, just as the rest of the world is not different. each and every human being is a whore to their own cause. sex has never had ANYTHING to do with it. his hand trails down to christopherās chin, thumb dancing on his lower lip -- admiring him.Ā ā your bed does seem to have a FONDNESS for company,Ā ā he comments, lips tilting in a half grin. the smile only GROWS when christopher speaks of his desires. thaddeus leans closer; presses his lips against the boyās with a gentleness that feels UNFITTING.Ā ā i am here now,Ā ā he murmurs, lips still grazing christopherās,Ā ā and i will be here tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. so long as youāll have me, i will be here.Ā āĀ
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