Jules

Mostly a bpd and anorexic blog now.

[theoldblog2024]

I don’t like labels. But I’m a grungey, gothic, emo indiehead who also likes dark academia, jigsaws, the ocean and outer space. But I’m also mentally unstable with BPD (and other things) and that’s a big part of my personality. So my tumblr is gonna be a mess, like my mind.

I don’t want multiple blogs. I might make some tho. Just for relevancy.

*edit* my blog is now very much a bpd and anorexic blog.

[theoldblog2024]

Is 73 stitches a lot?

[theoldblog2024]

I’ve not posted for a while. Been busy, and tired. I was antisocial, then social for a while, now I’m going back to anti social cause it’s easier, all people do is hurt. Relapsed hard in my Anorexia, still drinking a lot, and the other I had a bpd episode and ended up needing 73 stitches in my arm. Took the poor guy over 2 hours, but he was proud of himself for doing it (on his own, and stitching through scar tissue) and he was proud of my high pain tolerance. The guy was hot asfk too.

Anyway, it’s good to be back. I’m back on ED/BPD insta and X/Twitter too.

[gruesomeghost-b0y]

New diet plan of just don't fucking eat till someone texts you back

Best part is, no one gives a shit about me so I can starve forever

[theoldblog2024]

Teehee, I love this diet.

[theoldblog2024]

I wish I was important…

[theoldblog2024]

Hanging on by the tiniest thread and I’m slowly slipping…

I can’t live without an FP or partner. I have no worth or purpose or identity.

[theoldblog2024]

I feel so much like an alien. But I’m so empathetic. Full of emotion. That I must just be too human. It pains me.

[theoldblog2024]

It’s a difficult thing to survive,, even live with, being unloved, and undesired. Unlovable and undesirable.

[theoldblog2024]

I don’t suffer in silence. In fact I talk about it all the time (whether I just say it or share a song or quote). The thing is, no one cares. Everyone’s got their own problems. And when they tell me their problems they expect me to help them or be sorry for them or feel bad about myself for talking about myself again.

I’ll be the one to kill myself cause of my problems though. And I’ll make sure not to have a funeral tho so no one has to worry bout coming or giving money.

[theoldblog2024]

“I’m proud of you for not cutting in awhile.”

*Goes home and cuts themself.*

It’s not the compliment you think it is xx. Cause now you think I’m okay but I’m not okay, and I never tell you how I’m really feeling nor do I show any negative emotions. So I will now self-harm, again. To tell and SHOW you that I’m not okay xx.

Quit commenting on my body KISSKISS.

[theoldblog2024]

“How are you feeling?”

Sorry for myself. Wby?

[theoldblog2024]

When Morrissey sung

🎶“I KNOW I’M UNLOVABLE, YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME. I DON’T HAVE MUCH IN MY LIIIIFE, BUT TAKE IT, IT’S YOOOUUURRS. I DON’T HAVE MUCH IN MY LIIIIIFE BUT TAKE IT, IT’S YOOOOUURRRSSSS.”🎶

I felt that.

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

bpd is hating yourself for being the way you are even though it’s not you who made you like this

[magg0t1nfested-deactivated20241]

“where do you see yourself in 10 years?”

dead.

[condemnedbody]

Sometimes killing myself doesn't feel like enough. Sometimes I think I need to be erased from history

[theoldblog2024]

I wish I meant the world to someone. I wish someone loved me more than they loved anyone else.

I wish I had a partner, or I wish had a child of my own atleast.

I love everyone in my life, but to all them I’m just an ordinary friend or a member of the family or “one of” their kids.

I’m not actually IMPORTANT to anyone. If I died, everyone could carry on. If I lost any of my people. Just one of my people. I’d kill myself cause I can’t live without them.

I wanna die. Who tf would care anyway lol.

[theoldblog2024]

I’m the type of person to talk someone out of suicide, whilst I plan my own/write suicide letters.

Does that make me a good person, or a hypocrite? Or both?