The Page Of Lands

CLOSED, THANKS!

[gallusrostromegalus]

Happy Homestuck Day, here's my favorite story about spotting a Homestuck in the wild.

So my actual job-job is scientific illustration specializing in Botanical Illusation, (or it was until 2018 when I got run over by a Karen while taking out the trash but that's a different story) and sometimes I go to Gallery showings, and there was one gallery exhibition hosted my my school that taught me Botanical Illustration.

It's a nice event and a typical gallery event- box wine, little cubes of cheese, exchanging of business cards etc. I'm going around the gallery, going Ooh-Ah at everyone's technique and compositional choices, until I get to one peice that's a phylogenetic tree of ancient water plants, with tweleve branches... colored in the hemospectrum.

Now, most scientific illustrators are 60+ because a lot of people get into it after they retire. It's not uncommon for me to be the only person under 50 at these events, unless Maryanne, the other Millenial in the Botanical Illustration program is there. So this little Artistic Homage is going entirely unoticed until I walk up.

Sure enough, it's by Maryanne.

And sure enough, Maryanne chooses that moment to walk up and say Hi, and I swivel around like a goddamn owl to face her, point at her cladistics tree and make the 8D face.

She immediately blanches.

Unfortunately, the head of our program sees, and sensing chicanery, demands "WHAT IS HAPPENING." Prof. Mervi is an extremely direct Finnish woman and I love her so much.

So I have a hot second to explain this.

"Maryanne's color choices are a reference to a Popular Novel, and it's really brilliant because the colors represent a hierarchy in the story, and she's arranged them so the hierarchy is reflected in the order of the Clades, with the highest-ranking color corresponding to the oldest clades. The highest-ranked members of the color are also the oldest members of the fictional society. It's a nice little cultural homage for us Young People."

Maryanne is relieved.

"Oh!" Mervi is pleased. "What is this book called?"

Maryanne is No Longer Relieved.

"It's an online comic book." I say.

"Yes, but what is the title?"

Maryanne is attempting to develop lazerbeam eyes so she can melt my brains before I intrduce our beloved professor to the weirdest thing 2015 had to offer.

"It's called Homestuck." You don't lie to Mervi. She can sense lies the way a shark senses blood in the water.

"That is a very strange title."

"It's a very strange webcomic."

This appeased Mervi and she went off to schmooze elsewhere.

"She's going to look it up." Maryanne says, terrifed.

"I garuntee she's seen weirder stuff than Homestuck."

The event ends, I go home and manage to forget this entirely, until my next class three months later. Mervi has come into class and is looking at everyone's works in progress, which is perfectly normal, until she gets to the table Maryanne and I are sitting at and she opens her briefcase, takes out a manilla folder like it's full of Classified information, and opens it up to reveal a printout of a screenshot of one of the most recent pages.

"This man is an exceptionally accomplished digital artist." Said Mervi. "The quality of his work has improved immensely in a very short period of time."

"Yeah Hussie is pretty great!" yelps Maryanne.

"You know him?" Mervi asks. "Do you think he'd be interested in being a guest lecturer?"

"I mean like, not personally?" Said Maryanne. "But he's uh. He's a pretty busy guy."

"You should send him an email anyway!" I say. "The worst he can say is No."

"Do you think people would be interested in seeing him lecture?" mervi asked.

"Yeah I'm pretty sure if Andrew Hussie gave a lecture here it'd be pretty popular." I said. Maryanne is slowly imploding beside me.

"Hm. I will send him an Email." Said Mervi.

Unfortunately, Mr. Hussie never replied, but Maryanne and I are still friends.

***

(If you found this story funny, I can't work as an illustrator due to aforementioned Hit-And-Run, so if you wanted to leave me a Ko-Fi or subscribe to my Patreon for more funny stories, I'd be extremely grateful)

[cryptvokeeper]

Doing my part

[sodisco]

Even if you aren't a practicing Homestuck, remember that you're still culturally a Homestuck and you need to deal with how that clouds your view of the world.

[ctyou]

Do you have a list of all the spells you've made for the classpects? (ie, heaven help us and all the others I can't remember off the top of my head)

a list huh

Yeah I do

Also, this isn't really spoilers because half this shit doesn't even show up lmao, I just overdid it when I did classpect lore

I might miss a few spells but I think this is all the shit that's shown so far? :

Bloodleech (Blood)

Everyman (Blood - HoB's ability to mimic other people's appearance, has been used but its name is never mentioned in-fic)

Blood Unto Blood (Blood - innate ability; unnamed in fic but was offhandedly mentioned once that HoB can form easier connections with other Blood players)

Dead Man Wonderland (Blood - unnamed in fic. Ability to bloodbend, make weapons out of physical blood, move it around, etc. Seen in action on the battlefield of Skaia and in nightmares)

Empath (Blood - innate ability, unnamed in fic. Ability to sense others' emotional state as long as the caster is aware of te target's existence and location)

PATHOGEN (Blood - unnamed in fic, it's instead referred to as HoB being a cognitohazard. If you think about him or if you even know about him, you get on his radar, allowing him to use Empath. The more you think about him or the more you worry about him, the more he has a hold on you and can fuck your mental state up)

Voidsight (Void - unnamed in fic. Ability to know when someone is lying, used by SoV when talking to Tony)

Sword of Light (Light - not really unnamed in fic but KoL used it to defend himself once when Aradia attacked him because she got scared for a moment. It's also not really a spell but an item that's part of a bigger root spell)

New World Order (Space - mass transfiguration spell, a type of territory magic)

Territory Magic (Space - a spell that marks a huge area as a target. The whole place gets blasted so unless you actually get out of the blast zone, you'll be hit. Used not by a Space player in fic so far but by Sabera after she stole it)

Solar Storm (Space - offense type, gets really bright that even people outside the blast zone get flash blindness)

Stargate (Space - unnamed in fic. Not one single spell but a category, used by Aethra and MoS when summoning creatures from constellations)

Anathema (Doom - ability to redirect doomed fates towards someone else, often the caster)

Chosen One (Doom - mentioned in the theoretical dating sim shitpost here once. Ability to seal one's fate up to a certain point, meaning the person's doom will be put on queue until that point is reached. Once that point is reached, all that doom will be activated and the chosen one will die. Basically gives you plot armor until you reach your goal)

The Black Parade (Doom; a category for Doom-based makespells like Ghost Rider and other humanoid offense-based spells)

Ghost Rider (Doom, creature makespell)

Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge (Doom)

Heartshield (Heart - the pendant; it's enchanted with Heart magic so it counts as a spell)

Electric Love (Heart; Stand-type)

Eye of the Tiger (Heart; Stand-type, equipable)

Heaven Help Us (Hope)

Heaven's Wrath (Hope; unnamed in-fic but used by Jake when he smited all the beasts that attacked the castle in Stand Proud. Often set off by his anger)

Divine Judgement (Hope; offense spell that marks a target and always hits it, used by Nereus)

Manifest (Hope; restoration spell that revitalizes someone's Hope by manifesting into existence their wishes, used by Anshu)

Berserker Armor (Rage; defense spell that uses the caster's bones, making them break through the skin to use as armor. The bones are fortified for better defense. An incomplete form was used by Alverdine)

CATCH-ALL INVOCATIONS

Enchant - can be used by nearly all classes in order to imbue magic into an object or people, though the effects vary depending on class and aspect. Examples are Paralyze, Fortify and Divine Anointment

Equip - primarily used by Knight classes, though depending on what aspect is paired with a non-protection class, they can also wield it. Ability to use your own magic as armor.

Roar - a basic offense move where a caster condenses a large amount of magic and fires it all in a single blow

Kinetics - a term for any spell that takes another's magic and converts it into the caster's

[ctyou]

Yep! Here's a few I like:

Omniscience - inquisitive spell; at its root, it's mind-reading but it can be used with range (e.g: ability to hear thoughts of everyone within a 50-meter range of caster)

Dreambender - can be both offense or defense. Ability to control target's dreams

Stay In Your Coma - forcing a target into a comatose state

Child's Play - creation/manifestation type ability. Whatever object the caster can think of, they can bring into existence. If they think of a person, it won't be a carbon copy but instead their idea of the person being brought into existence. Dangerous in the same way that one Spongebob episode with Doodlebob was

Dreameater - ability to eat dreams or nightmares, often as a way to replenish magic

False Memory - ability to implant false memories into a person

Puppeteer - often for the Witch class. ability to manipulate a certain number of people's minds. How many depends on how experienced the caster is

Sleeper Agent - a subspell of Puppeteer. Because it takes too much energy to constantly manipulate puppets, their conditioning is made latent Winter Soldier style, and is often activated by a key word or a certain noise

Tunnel Vision - lets target hyperfocus on something. Useful for psyching out teammates who are scared ro do something but they're the only one who can do it

Gallery - ability to look at someone's memories by touching objects they've touched before. Useful for investigating scenes

Sandman - a more tame version of Coma. Puts target in a dreamless but restful sleep

Serotonin Machine - ability to replay target's happiest memories. Often used to bring people out of distress

Control Tower - ability to hijack target's brain to take control of chemical functions. For Heirs, it's basically doping. For manipulation classes, it's basically doping the rest of your teammates

Radio - mass telepathy spell

Everywhere At the End Of Time - destruction spell. Induces dementia

[itswalky]

it’s 2007.  everyone is complaining that spider-man 3 has too many characters and too many villains, that it’s too crowded a film 

it’s 2020.  everyone is excited that spider-man 3 is going to have multiple spider-men, every mary jane, every previous villain

[rikonius]

Spider-Man 3′s problem was never too many villains. It was that they rushed straight from the black suit to Venom. They needed to have buildup.

Well that and the dance scene.

[itswalky]

Counterpoint: Venom got as much screentime as Venom deserves.  

And frankly I could have enjoyed more dancing. 

[thepageoflands]

I see Venom and get happy

And then I see it’s not that version and I get embarrassed

[homestuckexamination]

I finally finished Act 2

And I am just, going to paste my Steam Review as like, my initial thoughts now that I’ve gone through all of it. Spoiler-less, but let me put a Read More.

Also- Expect me to start reblogging and posting Spoilers from now on so BE WARNED. They’ll be tagged, but still, be warned.

Keep reading

[weloveshortvideos]

[rehfan]

If you are having a bad day, please unmute.

(Huskie puppy doesn’t quite get the howling thing. Sounds like a baby babbling.)

[filbipott]

“Banana!”

[iamallrightfine]

* day is fixed* 

[chileananderson-deactivated2017]

ok. i super needed this.

[stellagibsonisalifeforce]

THIS. The whole world should watch this.

[thepageoflands]

Nope I still don’t feel better

Sorry guys

[thepageoflands]

One day I too would like to have a post viral enough to be stolen by Instagram repost accounts

[sburbianscribe]

Hi. Can i request a Rogue of Rage ascending to godhood story? Thanks!

Keep reading

[trippasksquestions]

Welcome to Tripp Asks Questions, a podcast about Life, Work, and Politics. Join me as I interview people in government about their jobs, current events, and their communities.

The trailer is up now at https://anchor.fm/tripp-ceyssens.

New Episode on Friday, June 26th.

Thank you!

[candiedbonemarrow]

Vibe check a page of mind?

Okay, mind is one of the harder classes for me to vibe check, admittedly. But...

You hate. H a t e . Accountability and responsibility. Now hold on, how did I get this from mind, you say? Because mind includes consequences and justice. You, h a t e that, and you fear it, especially when you feel like you fuck up so very much, that you’re not on the right thinking track, that somehow your thought processes are flawed to their very core. You can’t trust yourself with decisions. You can’t let yourself be alone to think, you don’t weigh in on options if you can help it unless they’re small and inconsequential. You are the l e a s t fit to give advice to yourself, but somehow, because you understand others so well when it comes to what is and what isn’t good, where things have been flawed, etc. they come to you to get help for themselves. And you don’t like that! You don’t want to be held liable for anything that might happen! Sometimes you might help anyway, if you feel like it would just be the wrong thing not to or that if you left it alone you would have caused something much worse. You want to live fast enough to where you can’t think. You admittedly admire all that your aspect has to offer, you just. Can’t think of yourself as interacting with it in a way that is sustainable and healthy for you.

You’re bright. Sharp. You’re calculating and you’re amazingly adept at picking apart conversations, debate, and any of your passion projects that stimulate you mentally. You don’t feel this way about it, and you intentionally hinder yourself from growth, because what if you grow in a bad direction? What if you become something you don’t want to? On the outside, you are perceived as either so dumb you cannot possibly have braincells or so mind-bogglingly intelligent that it’s not even fucking funny in the least. People will get angry with you when you say you’re not good at something because guess what? You pick up things with ease and even if you’re not good at them immediately, you’re still better than most people picking that thing up. There are things you can pick up and IMMEDIATELY be adept at and people are jealous of you for that. This tends to shine in more intellectual pursuits, not necessarily academics, but actually more morality, justice, and philosophy, as well as what punishments should be given for what crime and what is fair and due process. The thing is, maybe you don’t want to be good at those things. Maybe you don’t need that weighing on your head and your heart. And you especially hate it when people push you towards something but at the same time you can’t get them to stop because at least being pushed towards something is better than being left on your own. You can’t be left on your own. You’d crumble and you’d fall but that’s not true, is it?

The truth is you’re entirely capable and while you come off cold and cruel sometimes and maybe selfish, you are actually very caring and always thinking of your friends, what they’re doing, if they’re doing alright. You would be AMAZING independent, you just need the right push. 7/10, stop avoiding responsibility, you’ll handle it much better than you think you will

[thepageoflands]

Thank you!

[ditheringluminary]

Can I grab a Canra Page of Mind?

Canra: Sign of The Constrained. Prospitan, Lime sign.

Page: I serve X to others for myself, I seriously lack X but I will be the best at it eventually.

Mind: Choices, thought, and justice.

As a Page of Mind you may, unfortunately, lack accountability and/or can be rather indecisive sometimes. Given that the sign is prospitan this may be because there’s just too many options. Too many sides to choose and, as a Lime sign, it might involve choosing between two things you love that makes things so difficult. Similar to most Pages, you lack confidence, but in this case you lack confidence in your CHOICES. You try and try your hardest to think every option through, to the fullest extent of its consequences. But it just burns you out. At that point you are still on your Page Journey of handling the total power of Pagehood. While you are nervous to make choices of your own, your inaction may inspire others to make choices, either for you or for yourself. This all sounds awful, and it is, but its a part of being a Page. The road is often difficult, but when you grow into your own... you’re unstoppable. At a point in your journey you’ll be able to make choices more and more. Able to recognize patterns of behavior in people and make quick decisions like some kind of Seer. However Pages use their aspect actively, at least in my viewpoint! After completing your journey you’d be some kind of great strategizer or even the groups newfound leader if there isnt one already. 

[thepageoflands]

Please follow @ditheringluminary !!

[thepageoflands]

Hey,i did muito classpect quiz (the official i think)and ended up with mage of breath,and them i did It again and for Prince of time. Could you please explain what the classes do with the respective aspect? Thanks in advance

Hmm…

So, these are pretty different classpects. One of them deals with freedom and change, whereas the other one is incredibly destructive.

(Note: These views on the classes and aspects are all my own, based on research from numerous other blogs and sources. If you want to know more, I recommend @dahniwitchoflight, @revolutionaryduelist, and @creative-classpect )

Let’s start with the Mage of Breath.

While the Mage class is not explicitly defined anywhere in the comic, one of the more popular interpretations is (one who gains knowledge from experience.) This basically means that the Mage is going to have to go through a lot of work, pain and struggling in order to gain any shred of knowledge. Compared to the Seer, which gets it’s information much more directly and understandably, the Mage seems a little like the Page class. 

And it is! But instead of getting some lame “ultimate power” or whatever, the Mage gets a thorough and comprehensive understanding of the aspect in all of its forms. What can they do with that knowledge, you might ask? Well, basically anything, because they have learned how to do it. A Mage might not be able to use their aspect as well as a Knight or create as well as a Maid, but they can do it, and more. 

Now that I think of it, Mages are kind of like the Swiss Army Knife of the classes. They might not be as good at doing things like a screwdriver or knife, but a knife can’t (easily) open a tiny screw on the panel of the ticking bomb, and the screwdriver can’t then cut the right wire to defuse it. But the Mage knows what the bomb is, how to get into it, and exactly what wires to cut in order to make it into a confetti cannon.

Let’s move on to Breath.

Breath is something that’s been extensively explored in canon, but as with anything in Homestuck, it is still being determined exactly what it stands for. The general consensus is that Breath has something to do with freedom and wind. The wind part is pretty easy - It means that any Breath player will have some intuitive sense of which way the wind will blow, and then use that knowledge any way they damn well please.

The freedom part is a little trickier. There’s freedom in the literal sense, that of being unable to hold or capture, or there’s freedom of the mind, in which the bonds of mental illnesses are released and the mand is able to rest without worry, or there’s freedom of speech, or freedom to bear arms, or pretty much any freedom you care to talk about. 

And a Breath player has all of these freedoms! Breath is all about helping your teammates in the most YOU way possible. Breath players don’t need to slay the dragon to get to the princess, they will dance a jig around the dragon to get it to be friends, and then leave the princess where she is, but it’s all right because the Breath player set up a nice bed for her. Now the princess and the dragon are living in a found-friends sitcom, and that’s how Breath works. In the most random, but most delightful way possible.

Putting all of this together, we get a class that is the master of whatever they want to do. Having knowledge of freedom and wind is a powerful thing, and the Mage of Breath knows how to use it to its maximum potential. 

[thepageoflands]

Okay So

Hey, I’ve been noticing all the people that have been sending in asks, and I think I need to let you down now. 

I don’t really do these anymore. I mean sure, the blog’ll still be here, but I’m not planning on doing any more asks. So Yeah.

Sorry

[candlestar]

Please, Hussie, all I want is some canon class information. Is that too much to ask? Have the thousands of classpecters, studious and devout over these many years, done nothing to appease you? Haven't we toiled in the dark for long enough? Can't we have a little insider scoop, as a treat? Please, sir, we are starving.

[aerchivist-deactivated20230924]

“What’s the last thing you remember seeing before the fall?” “The stars. I looked up at the sky and there they were, glinting, singing, sighing. I gazed at them as they unraveled. Flickered. Faded. The stars are still fading.” All In Due Time - Of the Aethereal [Original Song]

[homestuckuserboxes]