The Perks of Having a Timeturner @theperksofhavingatimeturner - Tumblr Blog

sakura-haruka

pr-ay-the-gay-away

theavengers

1minhomo1

daevite

me: god i love paranormal shit and urban legends

me, after indulging in aforementioned content:

derezzcartes

*hears thunder* thor if thats u bitch i love u

vulvva-deactivated20200910

This is Zeus erasure

goldcrescent

Zeus deserves to be erased

corktreeforests-blog

it’s okay to eat

it’s okay to have fat, because it’s natural and it doesn’t make you ugly or unlovable

stretch marks, scars, moles, etc are totally ok

your body is wonderful exactly the way it is

please be kind to yourself

i love you so much

jay-berd

if you were a “gifted kid” in elementary theres an 100% chance youre gay and depressed now

just-shower-thoughts

If suicidal people were allowed to donate all their organs and be put down, they would be seen as heroes and die happy.

orriculum

can i get uh……..McDeath™

fayzaundevon

is that that one play by Shakespeare

orriculum

yeah

just-shower-thoughts

Anxiety is like when video game combat music is playing but you can’t find any enemies.

floppyschoice

the cha cha slide in full metal armor

floppyschoice

“sliiide to the left”

*indescribably loud screeching of metal against asphalt*

floppyschoice

“one hop this time”

*clonk*

“two hops this time”

*clonk clonk*

floppyschoice

“everybody clap your hands!”

*clankclankclankclankclank*

batcii-archive-deactivated20210

how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”

hugisak

#just let him dress in warm sweaters and have tea with neville in the staff room and help first years #harry james potter as hogwarts longest serving defense against the dark arts teacher fucking fight me (@batcii)

tattooedsiren

#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)

saywhatjessie

Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.

Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON

timemachineyeah

I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.

Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day.

optimysticals

Yes. Good.

jukeboxemcsa

Actually, all three of them should have become professors. Hermione would have become Headmistress, of course–youngest Headmistress of Hogwarts ever, and the only one willing to turn the portraits of her predecessors to the wall if they gave her too much lip about her efforts to modernize the curriculum. (She probably started as Transfiguration professor after McGonagall became Headmistress, but it wouldn’t surprise me if McGonagall was grooming her for the Headmistress job all along.)

And Ron took over as flying instructor for Professor Hooch; everyone thinks he’s an easy A because he’s so mellow and silly and hands out candy for good performances and his brother and sister sometimes visit the class to show off some of their old Quidditch moves and give away Wizard Wheezes to the best fliers, and it’s not until they talk to someone else from a different school or era that they realize that flying is actually really difficult to learn and Ron just found ways to slip all the teaching in under the fun so that they didn’t even notice. Things that seemed like silly tricks or goofy jokes turned out to be mnemonics for complex maneuvers, and of course nobody ever wanted to skip a class under his tutelage.