When your own family doesnât believe your disorder
TW: emotional/mental abuse, mention of COVID, long post
I am so baffled at the treatment I get from many of my family members specifically because of my disorder.
The past few months have been financially and mentally stressful for us for obvious reasons. COVID brought a lot of unexpected finances (Having to buy my necessities as an immunocompromised body at a huge markup because my usual stores were sold outâ Having to buy a plane ticket for the funeral of my grandparents who lost their lives to COVIDâ Losing our usual side hustles (gardening/pet sitting) during quarantine, etc.) and we were going to the doctor on a weekly basis for health complications. (And admittedly even with little money I was still donating to BLM orz)
Needless to say, weâve been tight on money. I rarely ask my parents for help with anything, and as I called my stepdad up on the phone, I remembered why.
Both my parents and most of my aunts and uncles think mental illness for the most part is a myth. Seriously. They think you can just suck it up and get over it for things like depression, bipolar, and even DID. You have no idea how many times Iâve been told âjust shut the voices out.â
But my stepdad really set me off. He refused to help me with any bills because I was âlazyâ and ânot working hard enoughâ to get a job and âSTEALING taxpayer moneyâ by wasting it on someone like me for unemployment and mental health checks.
Honestly I got triggered so hard that most of what he said was a haze as I dissociated but I hung up and sobbed for hours.
Didnât help that ten minutes later I got a text from his sister saying how rude and ungrateful I was for hanging up on him, guess he went to rant to her
And I just find it interesting since the only reason I got up the courage to ask was because I remembered him and his sister both talking about chipping in money to help my cousin during quarantine, as my neurotypical healthy cousin was laid off from the beauty salon she worked at for the last two months...and also got a parking ticket after disobeying quarantine and going out partying one night.
They were VERY willing to help her. But Iâm the one with âmental issues.â For some reason, that makes me the less trustworthy one, the one that doesnât try hard enough, the one that doesnât DESERVE.
I canât tell you how hard I fought to be believed even after a MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS for CFS, depression and DID. Thatâs why I feel for people who have to self dx. Medical dx are âproofâ itâs real, but that doesnât mean the disorder WASNT real before the diagnosis. And even now with a medical diagnosis, half my family is still skeptical.
And too many of them question, diminish, or even outright DENY the childhood abuse I dealt with from my biological dad that led to many of my current diagnoses.
Anyway, sorry for the rant, I should stop now because Vex is clearly trying to front and I donât want this post to get too gruesome lol.
- If you are medically diagnosed, you are VALID
- If you are self diagnosed, you are VALID
- You are NOT lazy for struggling with mental illness. Youâre fighting a battle these dipshits canât even BEGIN to understand
- You are a VERY valuable and loved and appreciated member of society and not âa waste of tax payer moneyâ
- Your abuse is and was real, it did happen, your pain and trauma is VALID, your coping mechanisms are VALID
- Traumagenic or not, your plurality is VALID
- You donât have to prove shit to ANYONE.
Anyway, Iâm considering making a kofi, so if I go through with it Iâll post it in our bio. Please only donate if you have the money to do so. I just need a little extra income for food, utilities and my health.
Thanks for reading, much love. đ€
pixelskylines
kianamaiart
ellievsbear
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
turnnoffyourmind
