DEAR READER
Janaina Medeiros
wallacepolsom
$LAYYYTER
roma★
Today's Document
Peter Solarz
Kiana Khansmith
One Nice Bug Per Day
Sade Olutola
sheepfilms
Sweet Seals For You, Always
No title available
Not today Justin
Kaledo Art
Mike Driver
we're not kids anymore.
Discoholic 🪩
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
occasionally subtle
seen from Australia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Serbia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@thephronesis
ALAB ni Thanatos Nakakarimarim Ang gabi'y binalot ng lagim Pumaruo't pumanhik Mga aninong naghihimagsik Nag-aalab na sulo Hudyat ng di pagsuko Matatalas na sibat Tanda ng ating pagkamulat Tayo'y lumaban Mag-aklas para sa kalayaan Tayo'y kumilos Tanggalin ang rehas na nakagapos Ipagtanggol ang ating karapatan Isulong ang ating kasarinlan Pukawin ang apoy na nakahimlay At tupukin ang huwad na tagaakay
HAPIS SA DAPITHAPON
ni Maria Clara
Pumailanlang ang isang masuyong kanta. Pinuno ng tili ng mga tao ang buong lugar ng hapong iyon. Isang fairytale na nagkatotoo ang nasa harapan nila. Umiwas ako ng tingin. Masaya na ako para sa kanila.
Sa ikatlong palapag, nanakaw ko ang isang sulyap. Matiim siyang nakatitig sa akin habang palipatlipat ang tingin sa pinagkakaguluhang pakulo ng isang mag-irog. Ayokong tingnan ang nasa harapan at lunurin na lang ang sarili sa intinsidad ng kanyang titig.
Lumipas ang ilang segundo, minuto, nang hindi ko namalayan. Umiwas ako ng tingin. Hindi ko rin pala siya kayang tingnan ng matagal. Mabigat sa pakiramdam, nakakapanghina. Mapait akong napangiti.
Kung ipagpapatuloy ko pa ito, tiyak ay mas masasaktan ako. Napabuntong-hininga ako bago sulyapan sa huling pagkakataon ang kanyang papalapit na bulto sa akin at ang papaalis na mag-irog na kanina lang ay pinagkalaguluhan ng madla. Mas nasasaktan ako sa kaisipang hindi ko siya makikita ng ilang araw kaysa ang isiping kasama na ng lalaking iniyakan ko ang babaeng makakapiling niya habang buhay.
THANATOS
by Thanatos
Death is rebirth
A Renaissance to the Dark Ages
Thou shall not fear the end
For it is a beginning of something else
I am Thanatos, death personified
I have come to seek the conclusion of every breathing soul
I have come to offer serenity rather than pain
Thou shall not cower in my presence
KATAHIMIKAN
ni Maria Clara
Mga luhaang mata
Mga nanginginig na kamay
Nanlalamig na puso, tibok na bumibilis
Lahat nagdidilim
Mga bulong
Sumasabay sa hangin
Tumatakbong oras
Unti-unti
Katahimikan ang naghahari
Nagpapatuloy
Walang hanggang katahimikan
Mortem
by Scintilla
I am but a transparent bottle
Of feelings overflowing in full throttle
I have lost my cap for being too open
To the world that has taught me to bear the burden
I am but a clear glass bottle
Of air that pumps life in this battle
I float in the sea as the strong wind blows
Towards the edge only the heaven knows
Genesis
by Thanatos
As I crept from the once impermeable lair
I sauntered to this unknown traverse
I am but a naked seed, ready to grow
The world is but a city of lies and deception
I have grown accustomed to the geniture of evil
Nursing a great prejudice towards my own nativity
I am but a pariah to this diabolical world
Torn between redemption and further damnation
ANG PAGDATING
ni Maria Clara
Sa unang buka ng iyong mata
Dala mo'y liwanag
Sa unang bigkas ng iyong salita
Dala mo ay pag-asa
At sa pagdating mo
Napawi ang pangungulila
Napunan ang kahungkagan
Natuyo ang luha
Nabigyan ng buhay
BIRTH
by Scintilla
To the universe and the great unknown
I could never be grateful enough for the life I'd owned
For my loving parents who had never left my side and my friends who'd been there for me to confide
Everything had fallen into place
As I'd walked and breathed in my own pace
For I had turned my scars into stars
Since the day I started this rapturous war
I had lived
Rose Thorne: Final Chapter
by Thanatos
It's been five years already, I'm slowly picking up the days that I've lost. Finding the scattered pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that was once called Rose Thorne. But no matter how hard I try, a part of me is still incomplete. I know I couldn't find it here, no matter how hard I look, it always leads me back to the place I used to call home, Brookefield.
Too much blood has been spilled, too many lives lost, too many innocent children killed. Just for the sake of a dim-witted ceremonial profligacy. I have witnessed this misanthropic and cynical behavior. My own eyes could attest to these grievous and grotesque crimes, and for what exactly? Purity? How can one be pure if his own vessel has been tainted with the blood of the impeccable and innocent?
For years I respected this ritual, for years I have been blinded from the truth, and for years I've been nursing this prejudice towards the people in that town. I remember their faces, the Humphreys, the Demiens, the O'Connors, and even that girl who claims to be Rose Thorne.
Now all the seats in the council are filled with the asses of these fatuous children who thinks they're above all else, who thinks they are somehow supreme. When in fact they're just doing this for the love and acceptance of their family. As kids that's what we all want, make mommy and daddy proud. But a storm is coming, and they wouldn't even know what just hit them.
Rose Thorne is back, and blood must be paid with blood.
Rose Thorne: Chapter 5
by Thanatos
I inhaled sharply, grave dirt infiltrating my lungs. The oxygen here is thin, my breathing inconsistent. I closed my eyes to avoid more dirt to reach my orbs. The soil is soft, I tried to push my hand, slowly and precise. I extended as much as I can until I can feel the warmth on my skin, morning perhaps. I raised my other hand as well while trying to escape from this pit. More, just a little bit more. I held my breath and finally, fresh air. I gasp, craving for more, thirsty for the niche that was deprived from my system.
❝ Help! ❞
I tried to utter, but choked from my own words. Silence enveloped my senses as I pushed my way up from the ground. I looked around and saw the tree, Croatoan. I ran away but my own balance failed me, I fell on the ground. Cradling myself with my own embrace, as the cold wind starts to seep in through my skin.
With all the strength that I have left, I crawled towards the tree and used its trunk to support myself up. I saw the shovel that was probably used to dig up our graves. I grabbed it and used it as a cane and walked away from the scene. Upon reaching town no one really gave a damn about me. It's normal to see a drunk, bloody, almost naked girl walking the streets after a hardcore night and some marijuana.
I don't know where to go, I have no one left, and no one left to trust. I have nothing, and even my identity's been stolen from me. I am but an alien to this town, a pariah.
I've been walking for as long as I can remember then suddenly I'm out of town. I looked back and saw the sign hanging up above.
❝ You're leaving Brookefield. Come back again! ❞
My once pursed lips curved into a smile.
❝ Hell yeah, I will be back. This is not the end, this is just the beginning. ❞
Rose Thorne: Chapter IV
by Thanatos
I woke up lightheaded, I couldn't move my limbs, maybe I'm paralyzed. But my foggy vision scanned the area, I was in a red room, then I saw my wrists tied on the arms of a chair and so were my legs. Then a familiar face caught my eyes. I tried to scream but managed to let out series of muffled wailing before I noticed my mouth was gagged.
❝ Shhh, I'll remove this but don't scream, if you want to live. ❞
He slowly reached out for the cloth that was wet either with my saliva or tears, not that I care. When he successfully removed it from my mouth, I gathered all the strength I have left and screamed.
❝ HELP!! SOMEBODY HEL- ❞
In a swift movement he covered my mouth with his hand while shushing me.
❝ Please keep quiet, I'm tryin' to help you. ❞
With that said, he slowly moved his hand away from my mouth, he was a bit hesitant, worried that I would scream again.
❝ If your definition of help is strapping someone on a chair and draining their blood. Well you're doing a pretty great job. ❞
I then look at the pail of blood that was right beside me. Fear crawled on my skin as he looked at me with his serious eyes.
❝ That is not your blood. I need you to do something for me. First, don't even try to escape, and second, play dead. ❞
His serious tone made me choke with words, I don't know what to say. But I had no idea what's really happening, I thought I did. What a great birthday present.
❝ I need to cover you with blood so it'll look that I already drained your body. After that, keep quiet as much as you can. ❞
I couldn't find the right words to say, should I thank him? Or should I try to save myself? But my thoughts were interrupted when he started covering my face with the blood, then to my body, down to my legs. It stinks, so bad, it reeks of bad idea.
❝ Is this human blood? ❞
What stupid question Rose, I thought to myself.
❝ You don't wanna know. ❞
He must have heard what I was thinking since he flashed a quick smile at me that made my heart flutter for a moment. He untied my constrictions and suddenly carried me bridal style, my head cradled on his neck, damn he smells so good. That jawline, is to die for, and his lips oh his lips.. I suddenly looked down when his eyes met mine.
❝ Now do the second part for me will yah, play dead. We're almost there. ❞
The fear is back in my mind, but I have to survive, all I gotta do is trust this guy. I have no other choice.
ㅡ
I closed my eyes as I started to hear some voices, they were murmurs at first. But as we got closer the voices were more audible, it was clear, and I couldn't be wrong, one of it was of my mom's. I felt a great pang on my chest as I hear the exact words that left her mouth.
❝ Is that her? ❞
❝ Yes Mrs. Thorne ❞
I heard Elliot's voice, more like felt it on my skin. His palms were cold, his voice cracked a bit but his posture stood proud while carrying my "dead" body.
❝ And her blood? ❞
❝ I'll go back to get it after I leave her body along with the rest. ❞
My heart pounded so fast, faster than the running horse. I held my breath, trying to calm down. The thought of being placed along with other dead bodies, real and actual dead bodies, it's just horrifying, and morbid. But what made my heart race the most is the feeling of betrayal. My own mom bathing with "my blood", she was willing to bathe with my blood. But why? I just wanted to jump off from Elliot and run towards her, ask my own mother why she would sacrifice her own daughter. But I felt Elliot's tight grip on my arm as he felt my body tense up. After a few steps, he slowly placed me down. I could feel the sticky liquid of which I didn't want to know what, though it was obvious. A warm voice almost startled me, but I remained silent.
❝ Wait here, try not to move. ❞
After a minute or two, Elliot arrived with the pail. All the heads of the founding families are now inside their respected tubs. With their heirs and heiress carrying the pail. Before going to his mother's side, Elliot placed the pail near my mom's tub. Ugh! Calling her mom made me sick to my stomach. No one stood beside my mom, that was me years before, and that should have been me inside that tub tonight. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise, I thought.
ㅡ
The heirs and heiress slowly poured the blood in the tub and on the naked bodies of their parents. Then I saw in one tub, Saligia Demien, a bestfriend of mine back in the days. She's now the head of the Demien Lineage, what a dream come true for her. While they were pouring the blood, another figure entered the room. I could not see her properly, nor I could make any conclusions from her features, what I know is that she's a girl. She stood beside my mother and kissed her cheeks. When she finally walked to the other side, I saw her face. I couldn't be wrong with my assumption. That red hair, those eyes, everything about her screams Thorne. But who is she?
❝ Welcome Rose Thorne, heiress of the Thorne Lineage ❞
Elizabeth Humphrey declared, and with a blink of an eye my mother was already dead. I covered my mouth to stop myself from screaming. Then I saw it, the one they call Rose Thorne, she was holding a blade dripping with my mother's blood as her body laid lifeless in the tub. Rose, why did they call her Rose Thorne, I am Rose Thorne. The girl pulled my mom's body from the tub, and it hit the pail of blood, spilling it all over the floor. Now the girl they call Rose dipped herself inside the tub with my mom's blood as Elizabeth held out her hand to his son, Elliot took off his cloak, revealing his naked body. Elizabeth stood up from the tub and looked at everyone.
❝ Rise in respect to the new head of the council! ❞
With that said, everyone stood up, including Saligia and "Rose" while Elliot dipped himself inside the tub.
❝ Ezra! ❞
Mrs. Humphrey called onto his other son, and he ran towards his mom like a puppy.
❝ Dear, please dispose all the bodies.. ❞
She paused for a moment and looked at my mom's dead body.
❝ all of them. ❞
Rose Thorne: Chapter III
by Thanatos
The town's busy, cars are parked inside the garages, while the streets are decorated with different Halloween shenanigans. Those mediocre teenagers been running from store to store looking for costumes. Some of the slutbags preferred running through their lingerie who obviously mistook this event as a strip club. They've lost it, the true meaning of Halloween, the direful history adorned with white blankets and jack-o'-lanterns.
I prefer escaping this crazy town with crazy people. I am here in my favorite spot where I could do my photography, yes, I'm a photographer. But don't mistaken me for the stereotypical yearbook club nerds and a maniacal loon who secretly takes pictures of naked boys, oh no no no, I'm better than that.
This place is quiet, the only place in this rustic town where I can find serenity. I've been taking pictures for about half an hour now, mostly flowers, bees, branches of trees, the sky, my sketchpad, and flowers again. I decided to rest my back on the ground and close my eyes for a moment, a nap will do.
But my nap took longer than expected, when I opened my eyes, the once conflagrant color of the sun was diminishing and the warm breeze was replaced with a chilly one. I grabbed my camera and decided to go home when suddenly I found a photograph on the ground, a picture of me sleeping, sleeping on this very spot, wearing the exact same clothes. I looked around, trying to comprehend everything. But saw nothing, I flipped the picture and saw another message.
❝ leave, while you still can ㅡ E.H. ❞
ㅡ
In an abrupt moment I heard a twig break, as if someone stepped on it by accident. My heart raced, my mind kept telling me to run away, but at the same time curiosity crept out from my system. I gripped on the lens of my camera while looking from side to side, but saw nothing, only the moon hanging up above giving me a glimpse on my surroundings. I walked towards the direction of the sound, slowly. There's no turning back now.
❝ Who's there? ❞
I asked into the darkness but received a howl as a response. I randomly clicked my camera, pointing to different directions, the flash illuminating the murky woods. Then I looked into the shots, all blurry, but one image caught my attention, it was a figure, a black figure enveloped by a cloak.
I grabbed my bag and shoved my camera inside, I turned away but stumbled onto something, or someone. I didn't dare look, instead I ran the other way, but the figure emereged from the darkness, and so did the others. They were all wearing black cloaks with hoods enough to cover their faces. I tried to back away but I'm surrounded.
❝ HEL-- ❞
I attempted to scream but a blunt object hit my skull, making me lose my consciousness. All I heard was a loud thud when my body crashed on the ground, my rasp breathing, and a woman's voice..
❝ Elliot, prepare her for the reaping ❞
Before my senses went numb, it all clicked.
❝ Elliot Humphrey, E.H. ❞
Then everything went dark. The last thing I felt was someone carrying my frail body.
DAMGO: Huling Kabanata
ni Maria Clara
"Esmeralda." Ngumiti siya sa akin.
Napabalikwas ako ng bangon mula sa mahimbing kong pagtulog. Nakakasilaw na liwanag mula sa araw ang sumalubong sa aking paningin. Bukas ang bintana.
Buong akala ko ay makakalimutan ko na ang lahat. Dapat ko nang kalimutan ang lahat. Napahawak ako sa aking leeg. Kinagat niya ako upang makalimutan ko ang lahat. Natulala ako. Bakit sariwa pa rin sa akin ang mga nangyari? Hindi ko namalayang tumutulo na ang luha ko. Iniwan niya na ako sa pag-aakalang nakalimutan ko na lahat. Wala na siya. Hindi ko mapigilang mapahagulgol.
Wala ako sa sarili habang naglalakad patungo sa silid-aklatan. Isasauli ko sana ang mga nahiram kong libro. Isang malakas na pwersa ang gumising sa akin mula sa pagkakatulala. Nabitawan ko ang mga aklat na dala. Pupulutin ko na sana ang mga nahulog nang maunahan ako ng isang tao. Siguro iyong nakabangga sa akin.
"Sorry, Miss ah. Hinahabol kasi ako ng kaibigan ko." Nakangisi siya marahil ay galing sa harutan nila ng mga kaibigan niya. Natigalgal ako sa aking kintatayuan. Nais kong maiyak sa nakikita ko. Ang mga matang iyon —abo at malalalim.
"Okay ka lang ba, Miss? May masakit ba sa'yo?" Tanong niya sa akin. Marahil ay naiiyak na talaga ako sa kanyang paningin. Wala akong maisagot. Nagririgodon lang ang puso ko.
"Carlos, ang tagal mo naman diyan. Nangchichicks ka lang, eh." Binalingan niya ang mga kaibigan niya. Kanina pa siguro naghihintay ang mga ito sa kanya. Napakamot siya sa ulo niya.
"Miss, kailangan ko ng umalis ah." Sambit niya bago binigay sa akin ang napulot na mga aklat. Napatango na lang ako bago siya tumakbo sa kinatatayuan ng kanyang mga kaibiga. Tumawa-tawa sila habang umaalis. Napabutong-hininga ako.
"Carlos..." Nagawa ko na lang maibulong sa hangin.
DAMGO: Kabanata VI
ni Maria Clara
Lahat ng bagay may katapusan. Lahat may hangganan. Kagaya ng pamamaalam ng araw sa tuwing sasapit ang gabi.
Tinitingnan namin ang mga bituin. Napatingin ako sa kanya. Mukhang ang lalim ng kanyang iniisip dahil hindi niya namalayang nakatitig ako sa kanya kanina pa.
Sa ilang buwan naming pagsasama ay napakarami kong natuklasan tungkol sa kanya. Napakatalas ng kanyang pakiramdam na ultimo mahihinang kaluskos ng mga hayop ay naririnig niya. Alam kong hindi siya normal. Alam kong bampira siya at kinakatakutan. Ngunit wala akong nakakapang takot sa dibdib ko.
"Anong iniisip mo, Carlos?" Pukaw ko so kanya.
Bumaling siya sa akin at seryoso akong tinitigan."Esmeralda, mahal na mahal kita."
"Mahal na mahal din kita, Carlos." Ngumiti siya sa akin ngunit iba ang ngiti niyang iyon. Wala na ang dating ningning sa kanyang mga mata sa tuwing sinasambit ko sa kanya kung gaano ko siya kamahal.
Sumeryosong muli ang kanyang mukha. "Gagawin ko ito dahil mahal kita."
Naguluhan ako sa kanyang sinabi habang unti-unting bumubilis ang pintig ng puso ko. May kutob na ako kung ano ang mangyayari at hindi pa ako handa para rito.
"Anong ibig mong sabihin?" Kinakabahan man ay nagawa kong itanong sa kanya.
"Kailangan na nating tigilan ito. Mali pang idawit kita sa magulo kong mundo." Hindi ko siya naintindihan at isa lang naiintindihan ko — ang sakit.
"Maawa ka Carlos. Mahal kita. 'Di ko kayang mawalay sa'yo." Nagmakaawa ako sa kanya. Napapikit siya nang mariin. Nang imulat niya ang mga mata ay nakikita ko ang mga nagbabadyang luha. Hindi ko na rin napigilan ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko.
"Esmeralda, hindi ako tao. Bampira ako, halimaw. Ikapapahamak mo lamang kung mananatili tayong ganito." Namumula na ang kanyang ilong at mata dahil sa pagpipigil ng luha.
"Hindi mo ba pinapangarap na maikasal? Iyong sa normal na tao? Ayaw mo bang magkapamilya ng normal? Kasi ako, hindi ko maibibigay iyon sa iyo." Napatanga ako. Oo, nakalimutan ko iyon. Nakakalimutan ko ang lahat sa tuwing kasama ko siya. Wala akong pakialam sa paligid ko sa tuwing kasama ko siya.
Marahas akong napa-iling. Hindi maari.
Niyakap niya ako at doon ko naramdaman ang lakas ng pintig ng kanyang puso. Mahal niya ako na makakaya niyang isakripisyo ang lahat para sa akin, maging ang sariling kaligayahan.
Naramdaman ko na lamang na unti-unti na akong sumusuko sa ninanais niyang mangyari. Pursigido siyang mailayo ako sa kapahamakan at wala na akong magagawa.
Ipinagdikit niya ang mga noo namin. "Basta palagi mong tatandaang mahal na mahal kita, Esmeralda. Mula noon hanggang sa nabubuhay pa ako, mamahalin kita. Kahit sa malayo ay mamahalin kita. Ikaw lang, Esmeralda." Napahagulgol ako. Umiyak ako nang umiyak sa bisig niya. Nang tumahan ako ay tinitigan ko siya. "Mahal na mahal din kita, Carlos." Pinikit ko ang mga mata ko nang naramdaman ang mga labi niya sa akin. Kusang tumulo ang kanina pang pumapatak mga luha.
Nang kumalas siya sa akin ay unti-unti na akong nanghina. Alam ko na ang mangyayari. Nagbago ang kulay ng kanyang mga mata — mula abo ay naging pula. Unti-unting tumalas ang kanyang mga ngipin. Naramdaman ko ang kanyang paglapit at wala na akong nagawa. Naramdaman ko ang paglapat ng kanyang ngipin at pagbaon nito sa aking balat. Pinakiramdaman ko na lang ang lahat habang nakapikit bago unti-unting nilukob ng dilim ang aking malay.
DAMGO: Kabanata V
ni Maria Clara
Ilang linggo na rin mula nang mailibing si Tatay. Marami rin ang nagbago dahil dito. Hindi na halos umuuwi si Nanay dahil kailangan niyang magdoble-kayod mapunan lang ang pangangailangan namin. Hindi na muna ako nag-enrol lara sa susunod na sem upang makabawas sa gastos. Pumasok rin ako bilang tindera ng gulayan sa palengke.
Araw-araw kong nilalakad mula sa amin patungo sa palengke at pabalik rin. May kalayuan man ay hindi ko ito iniinda dahil mas makakaipon kami kung hindi ako magbabayad ng pangpamasahe. Araw-araw ko ring nararamdaman ang kanyang presensya. Sa tuwing umuuwi ako ay tila may nakasunod at nakamasid sa akin. Binabantayan ang bawat galaw ko. Noong minsang may kumausap sa aking kargador sa palengke ay bigla na lang bumigat ang ang karga nito at hindi na nito mabuhat. Alam kong kagagawan ito ng lalaki. Maaring nasa paligid lamang ito.
Isang araw habang naglalakad ako pauwi sa amin ay naririnig ko ang mga yapak ng paa. Sa tuwing nililingon ko naman ito ay wala akong nakikitang ibang tao sa likuran ko. Sa inis ay nagsalita ako.
"Alam kong nandyan ka. Magpakita ka na lang sa akin."
Bumaling ako sa aking harapan nang may maramdamang kung ano.
Isang simpatikong ngiti ang ginawad ng lalaki. Nagliparan ang mga paruparo sa sikmura ko. Ni hindi ko nga kilala ang taong ito, kung tao nga ba talaga ang isang ito.
"Pasensya ka na. Napapanatag kasi ako kapag alam kong maayos ka." Napabuntong-hininga siya.
"Ayun naman pala, eh. Sana nilalapitan mo na lang ako nang sa ganoon ay makilala kita. Ano? May plano kang masama sa akin no? Hindi kita kil—"
Hindi niya ako pinatapos dahil hinalakin niya ako. Nanlaki ang aking mga mata at pilit na pumalag. Dahil na rin siguro sa kanyang lakas at aking panghihina ay wala akongnagawa kundi magpaubaya. Naipikit ko na lang ang aking mga mata at ninamnam ang nangyayari.
Kumalas ako at natahimik. Ilang sandali bago ako nagsalita.
"Nahalikan mo na ako't lahat-lahat, hindi mo pa rin sinasabi ang pangalan mo."
Ngumiti siya bago ako tinitigan nang matagal. Tila pinag-iisipang mabuti ang nasabi ko.
"Carlos." Sambit niya bago pinatakan ng magaan na halik ang aking labi.
"Carlos ang pangalan ko, Esmeralda." Hindi ko alam kung anong mayroon sa kanyang pangalan ngunit napangiti ako habang magkalapat pa rin ang aming mga labi.
"Carlos." Ulit ko sa kanyang pangalan at naramdaman ko rin ang kanyang pagngiti.
DAMGO: Kabanata IV
ni Maria Clara
Nais kong isiping panaginip lang ang lahat. Ngunit habang tinitingnan ang kabaong ni Tatay ay gumuguhit ang sakit. Nangyari ang lahat sa isang kisapmata.
"Ate, wala na si Tatay." Iyak nang iyak si Corazon habang sinasambit sa akin ang katotohanan.
"Tahan na, Azon. Nandito pa naman kami ni Nanay at ni Val." Patuloy ako sa pag-alo sa aking kapatid habang inaalo rin ang aking sarili.
Sa araw ding iyon ay inilibing agad si Tatay. Mabilis lang natapos ang simpleng seremonyas. Umalis na ang lahat ngunit nagpaiwan ako sa libingan ni Tatay.
"Nak, sumunod ka lang sa bahay pagkatapos nito. Kailangan mo rin ng pahinga." Sambit ni Nanay nang magpaalam akong mananatili muna.
"Opo, Nay." Tinanguan niya lamang ako bago tumalikod at maglakad paalis ng sementeryo.
Natulala ako sa kawalan. Wala na si Tatay. Kailangan ko na ring kumayod para sa pamilya at pag-aaral ko. Nais kong umiyak dahil nakakakapanghina ang katotohonan. Kailangan ko na rin sigurong isakripisyo ang pag-aaral ko. Mas mainam kung ipagpapaliban ko muna ang pag-aaral ko at unahin na lang ang sa mga kapatid ko.
"Tay, bantayan mo sana kami palagi."
Napabuntong-hininga ako habang nakatingala sa makulimlim na langit. Mukha na namang uulan
Pipihit na sana ako paalis nang maramdaman ko ang pagpatak ng ambon. Unti-unti lumakas hanggang sa mabasa ang kabuuan ko. Wala na man din akong magawa kung kaya't hindi na ako nag-abala pang manakbo. Pinikit ko na lang ang mga mata ko habang tinitingala ang langit at pinapakiramdaman ang patak ng ulan sa aking mukha.
Maya't maya ay biglang dumilim at tumigil ang ulan. Napadilat ako. Sa pagdilat ko ay sumalubong ang pamilyar niyang mukha. Hindi ko alam ngunit bumilis ang pintig ng puso ko. Namimiss ko siya.
"Sabi ko, ingatan mo ang sarili mo." Nakasimangot siya habang matiim akong tinititigan. Naumid ang dila ko. Hindi ko mahanap ang mga salita.
Ngumisi siya. "Sige na. Umuwi ka na at magpalit. Baka lagnatin ka." Napatitig ako sa misteryoso niyang mga mata. Sa kabila ng pagiging estranghero ay hindi ako natakot. Komportable ako sa presensya niya na para bang matagal na kaming magkakilala.
Umalis siya mula sa pagkakasukob sa payong at iniwan akong nag-iisa sa ilalim nito. Nakaharap siya sa akin habang naglalakad ng patalikod. Aalma sana ako ngunit naunahan niya ako.
"Huwag kang mag-alala. Hindi ako tinatablan ng lagnat." Ngumisi muna siya bago tuluyang tumalikod.
Napangiti ako sa aking sarili. Sino ka ba talaga? Ano ka ba talaga?
Umihip ang hangin kasabay ng pamamayani ng isang boses sa pandinig ko.
"Sa tamang panahon, Esmeralda."
Bigla ay kumulog at kumidlat. Naglaho siya. Naglaho ang lalaki sa mga panaginip ko ngunit alam kong babalik siya. Babalikan niya ako.
VII Fin
by Scitilla
To end the clockwise chronology
Of this storm surge of agony
Dear, don't latch your heart of butter
On every uncertainty that sets it aflutter
For one night was all it took
To see the end of the tragic book
His existence was my poison
The undying epitome of temptation