The Phyrexian Eggroll

Mtg, Animorphs, Judaism, and shitposts. I've never read Homestuck and you can't make me. Profile pic by @alexsteacy on twitter (M,21, Him/He, bisexual).

[bunjywunjy]

what would a parasite use you for aside from resources

I like to think that sometimes maybe they just want the company

[imakuni]

so, they didn't want players killing kids in the new lego star wars, so they made them immune to friendly fire damage, but they didn't make them invincible, so now speedrunners are doing extended air combos on them to cross large gaps and climb tall structures. this has been dubbed Child Flight

[imakuni]

so, they didn't want players killing kids in the new lego star wars, so they made them immune to friendly fire damage, but they didn't make them invincible, so now speedrunners are doing extended air combos on them to cross large gaps and climb tall structures. this has been dubbed Child Flight

[walrusofdoom]

My friend made this with the note: “I tire of Korn Gohan, its time for the lesbians to reign supreme”

[alephnull47]

[sev-wildfang]

we did it.

[spatialapprentice]

this is so fucking dope

[spatialapprentice]

this is rrally dope

[spatialapprentice]

this is dope

[spatialapprentice]

this is incredibly dope

[spatialapprentice]

this is fucking dope

[spatialapprentice]

this is dope

[spatialapprentice]

this is dope

[spatialapprentice]

this is dope

[bigstupiduglyogre]

love wins

[tomberensonsghost]

Jake, thinking: alright alright alright marco’s freaking out everyone’s freaking out I have to do something to break the tension or we’re going to crack

Jake: < Hey, uuuhhhh, why don’t ants ever get sick?>

Everyone: *freaking out*

Jake: < Because. Because they have. antibodies.>

Everyone: *attacks Jake*

[thaylepo]

Jake tells dad jokes because inside he's 40 years old and would rather be doing yardwork

He'll still be telling the same jokes in 25 years, except now ppl his own age will appreciate them

[sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel]

Ok that’s actually a pretty good joke, but I’m kind of known among my friends for telling some groaners from time to time so...

[girlballs]

“they/them pussy is-” whatever. they/them cock is like the blue potion. from zelda. they/them cock is like when you stand up too quickly and pass out for .0612 seconds and visit the machine elves and they teach you about 3-dimensional numbers

[girlballs]

calling their cock seatbelt taste because i want to get strapped in and suck on it

[girlballs]

these are actually really important tags because this is seriously what i was going for with the initial post. like yeah it’s jokey but it Did originate from a legit annoyance with how often “non-binary” is equated to “afab” and amab non-binary people are seen as Men Lite/innately predatory/etc. it’s just that i have a brain worm so instead of making an eloquently worded post expressing that, i made a post about passing out and seeing machine elves. but the underlying sentiment is genuine.

[girlballs]

happy WIZARD Penis Wednesday

[imgonenowbyeeeee]

[fluffermckitty]

[transgambit]

what is the truth

[comedyke-deactivated20171209]

they’re married you asshole

[transgambit]

u right, my bad

[h0odierich-deactivated20170708]

[what-ever-what-ever-what-ever]

thats their lesbian daughter

[proudninjawombat]

Reblog if you support the gay papertowel dads and their lesbian paper towel daughter

[petergabrielyuri]

Can’t you guys read it says strength has no gender. That’s their nobinary kid whose name is “Strength”

[brightlotusmoon]

Next time someone asks me to explain Tumblr I’m going to show them this and say “No.”

[rodeocas]

it’s only gay if the slug is looking at us dude 

[toastbutteregg]

[capitalismkillz]

I love this meme because I think humans 10,000 years ago or 100,000 years ago would also like it

[smarmykemetic]

the occult implications of large parts of modern society being okay with "pleather" and "vegan leather" (plastics and micro plastics existing everywhere from placentas to the bottom of the ocean), rather than using the skins of animals who will ultimately die no matter what we do

[smarmykemetic]

a sizable amount of people are so unable to cope with the process of life and death, even that of a cow, that they'd knowingly poison their bodies and help poison the earth with fuckin' Forever Trash so they can feel like their hands are clean. wack

[dreamofyouandi]

[exhaustedwerewolf]

victor frankenstein will be like “a terrifying creature is trying to murder me :(“ my brother in christ you sewed him together in your dorm room

[catchymemes]

[batneko]

that is so fucking funny but MEAN