So I have to ask you something... Do you think captain swan is abusive? I want to ask you this because I don't know if my shipper goggles are blinding me or if the antis are just that delusional, you know? And your blog is so objective and completely honest about its biases, contrary to others dishonest blogs out there. Not to mention how you are truly feminist. Do you think Killian is a bad and misogynist boyfriend to Emma (and if you want you can rant about his relationship with Milah too...)?
I really don’t think CS is at all abusive. The only times it has seemed abusive are when he was the Dark One (which he’d have rather died than be) or when moments are taken completely out of context eg. the roof jumping scene. Is Hook flawed? Of course! But he is not an abuser. He is patient and completely supportive of Emma. Would a bad boyfriend be patient and wait for you to make the first move, empower you every chance he gets, push you to make up with your family, die for you (three times over)? I’ve seen that Killian listening to Liam over Emma shows he’s an abuser which isn’t really fair, because it pits family v romantic (so in their mind a good partner should choose you over his family). He also pushes for Emma to have her free will (contrary to actual misogynist Rumple who planned on kidnapping and mind wiping Belle).
CS is very anti-gender roles. They make decisions together eg. moving in, first dates. Killian often does the ‘female’ aspects of the relationship such as child care while Emma does the paid work.
Killian is also a feminist. When he was with Milah, he listened to her rant about her hopes and dreams, when she came to him he took her on board instead of saying “No back to the kitchen with you” and gave her a position of authority (she had the crew’s respect) whereas a misogynist would have made her the ship’s cook or sex slave or something. He listens to women when they give suggestions eg. Elsa (when she was telling him he was wrong about his suspicions re: Emma he took her seriously), Emma (”waiting for a giant to fall asleep when we need him to?” “Point taken.”). He is interested in being on the same level as a woman (”We make quite the team”) (Team=equality). He has no problem being led by a woman (Emma, Cora) or taking orders from them. He empowers women when they excel, Tink “Look who’s still a fairy”, Emma “You can do this/Your magic/I’ve yet to see you fail/I knew you’d find us/You saved me.” He admitted to Emma that she was right, that he had been weak. When Emma called him out on lying to her about Ursula, he told her she was right, instead of lasing out at her.
Yes, he has hurt women. That is not misogyny, especially not when it’s in self-defense, such as Emma coming at him with a sword at Lake Nostos or Ursula choosing to carry on helping Gold. Innuendos are not misogyny either, despite how much the fandom thinks they are. Do they make you as a viewer uncomfortable? Fair enough, I cringed a bit at s2 Hook and his flirting. But that does not make him a misogynist.
Hell, the man calls other people out on their misogyny. He shut down Belle’s claim that Hook “stole” Milah because Hook doesn’t think women can be stolen-’when a woman comes to you and begs you to take her away, is that theft?’. When Charming (who I love btw) was objectifying Emma and acting like he got to decide what his adult daughter did with her love life, Hook called him out on it, called it ‘old fashioned’, flat out saying that Emma isn’t a prize and that their relationship was up to her as much as him (oh hey look, equality).
Lastly, the irony of this all is that 90% of Hook/CS-hate comes from misogyny and patriarchal ideas. The idea that women are ‘weak’ and have to be protected from everything (Hook gets most of his hate for hurting women when he as done worse shit to men). The idea that women are not strong when they fall in love (Emma is called weak for daring to be upset when Hook died). The idea that men who go through trauma and struggle should be made fun of (Captain Man Pain. Hook shows guilt, grief, regret-all of which are perfectly fine and should not be mocked-but he is called “emo” and “man pain”).
Wow this was long, sorry I can’t put it under a cut.