stagger on @abaddonsbabe - Tumblr Blog

Girl suffering mental illnesses and crippling loneliness: “I’m struggling bad but it’s definitely my fault actually, I just need to try harder somehow. I just need to find a way to try harder”

kitty-c4t

homunculus-argument

The next time you've got a friend over, set an example and put your phone on the table, visibly there but not too far away, to let them know that you're intentionally present, not distracted, your attention is undivided and you want to be fully focused on being right there to spend time with them. Don't mention it or draw attention to this, you're not doing this to be preachy or wanting praise, you just want to be a good friend and you value your friend's time. Ideally, your friend will either notice this or even pick it up without conscious notice, and set their own phone aside on the table as well.

Then, when your friend takes a minute to go to the bathroom, grab your phone and take a photo of your friend's phone sitting on your table. Do not touch it, and put your own phone back exactly where it was immediately once you've got the picture. Carry on with whatever you two were doing.

Once your time is up and your friend has left for home, wait for a good 15 minutes or so, for them to either get back home or be well on their way there. Text your friend, "hey, you forgot your phone", and send them the photo you took of their phone on your table. Set a stopwatch running from the moment your friend sees the message.

Measure how many seconds it takes for your friend to process this and tell you to go fuck yourself.

catchymemes

almightychrist-deactivated330405

tiktoks-we-like

nothorses

The rule of thumb is not "listen to marginalized people about everyone's experiences", it's "listen to marginalized people about their own oppression".

It's not "listen to the most marginalized person in the room", it's "listen to the people who have actually had the experiences being discussed, instead of assuming what those experiences are like".

It's not "stop having an opinion, shut the fuck up, and absorb uncritically whatever a marginalized person has most recently told you", it's "everyone knows their own experiences best, just like you know your's, and it's important to listen to different perspectives in order to truly understand the problem".

Marginalized people don't know everything, and certainly aren't a monolith. The whole point of that idea is just to get people to listen to each other. If all of us are doing that, and genuinely trying to understand others without making assumptions or abandoning critical thought entirely, we'll get there in the end.

lesbx

this is by far the funniest jigsaw_quotes post i genuinely cannot stop thinking about the sight of like, jigsaw opening his wallet in the checkout line at the Death Trap Lowe’s and he has like two pennies and a dime in there. and he just sighs

adelaide-ill-omens

Then yall will love this other one of theirs'

bogleech

I prefer to read these in the puppet voice though like sometimes he's just using one of the videos to casually vent

4waystreet

kairenn-n

must a villain be redeemed? isn't it enough that they're bitter, evil, and most importantly, hot?

theeclectickoalastudent

But what can you redeem them for? Cool prizes?

kairenn-n

how does it feel to be the funniest person on my notes

akumeoy

one of the worst genres of tumblr post is "attempt at thoughtful emotional prose from a person who has read nothing but fanfic since they graduated from high school"

angelicguy

noxtheox

me in the pussy if im being fully honest

angelicguy

i appreciate your candid tell all style approach to my posts

reptiliannastyboy

despite her efforts to evade me, i have finally filmed my cat playing my harp

reptiliannastyboy

Is a tiny cat playing a harp blasé to you people?? You don't even have time to give her a little like for her recital 🥺?

anexperimentallife

meanmisscharles

the-lincyclopedia

This maybe sounds mean, but I think we should be able to send doctors “hey, you were wrong” letters.

I was misdiagnosed with asthma when I was 12 and took asthma meds daily for seven years, and then it turned out I hadn’t had asthma in the first place; I actually have a different breathing problem. I don’t think the doctor who told me I had asthma (my pediatrician, who I was no longer seeing by that point) ever found out she’d been wrong. (This is one of at least four misdiagnoses in my life, from a variety of doctors, that I can think of off the top of my head.) Similarly, my first therapist told me she didn’t think I was autistic because I wasn’t obsessed with trains. I don’t think she ever found out that I am, in fact, autistic, because I wasn’t seeing her by the time I was diagnosed.

I get that it might be demoralizing to have someone contact you specifically to tell you that you messed up, but I think it would be useful for doctors to have data on how often they misdiagnose patients, especially since some doctors tend to think the patient is generally wrong when attempting self-diagnosis. It would be useful for my former therapist to move me from the mental column of “people who erroneously think they’re autistic” to “people whose autism I did not notice when they were right in front of me.” It would be useful for my pediatrician to realize she needed to look more closely and listen to kids when their breathing symptoms weren’t the classic asthma ones.

Doctors can get on their high horse and refuse to believe patients a lot of the time, and the power dynamic makes that dangerous in plenty of situations. I think it would be helpful to have a way to at least alert doctors when we have proof they messed up.

alphacrone

i know so many of us have been trained since a young age to be so accommodating as to fear ever expressing an opinion, but as we get older we need to understand that being “accommodating” to the point of total indecisiveness is a very uncomfortable way to go through life, for you AND those around you. it’s ok to have an opinion on something. it’s ok to make a decision. your friends won’t hate you if you’re the one to end the “where do you want to eat” “oh anywhere is fine with me” discussion by suggesting a restaurant. you’re not high maintenance if you say, “noon is more convenient for me” when someone asks you what time you want to hang out. make decisions, have opinions, be part of the planning process, understand that you’re not being inconvenient, you’re just contributing.

#youre CONTRIBUTING #you are actually being HELPFUL