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Hello there stranger

[toastbutteregg]

[chaoticallyprecise]

SO in Britain all the swans may belong to the Queen, but lemme tell you about Hamburg:

Hamburg is built around a river, so there’s many many many canals (the 2400+ bridges put Venice and Amsterdam to shame), as well as a fairly sizeable lake (here the smaller section, innit precious):

This means a shittonne of swans

(stay away from the swans) (seriously don’t go sailing on the lake because they WILL chase you). Obvs swans aren’t made for cold weather (p sure they’re all Australian immigrants actually) so Hamburg has an official job position to take care of the issue.

This dude’s name is Olaf Nieß (trying to spell his name on non-German keyboards must be fun):

This guy’s job title is “Schwanenvater”, aka “swan father”, and his job literally consists of getting swans to safety before the winter chill sets in. How does he do this, you wonder? Easy: he goes up to EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SWAN in the city and sticks them in barges. I’m serious:

Look at this dude and his swans

Swans are like Satan’s personal pet and he paddles around with barges full of them like it’s nbd.

I fucking love this guy he’s braver than all of us and deserves some recognition for his absurd line of work.

[extrafabulouscomics]

https://extrafabulous.shop/products/print-shark

[catscenter]

[catchymemes]

[hotboyproblems]

[matchlessfootball]

if golf and football switched commentators 😂

[official-portugal]

I just lost 3 years of my life

[finofilipino]

[eltigrechico]

V i e w s       f r o m      3 0 3 8

[memesandlaughs]

[cheese24k]

Corgi only listens to owner when he talks like The Beatles

> I like how the guy in video talked with other accents to give more proof.

[robinbenway]

I don’t even know where to begin with this!

[babyanimalgifs]

[theyachtguy]

“LARIMAR” Loving this color and style of this modern classic. . . . #yalikavak #yalikavakmarina #classic #style #beauty #pretty #yachtshow #tybaturkey (at Yalikavak Marina)

[missemmawatson]

[ripe]

🐟| ig: bo_mang_co

[feshpince-deactivated20201109]

duck emoji rates

my goodness look at the amount of detail on this one. the colors, the shading, everything is just spot on. you can almost make out the individual feathers. truly a marvelous mallard. 10/10

i see they went with one of those brown varieties of duck. while this is a bold move on their part, i feel as though it loses a bit of its personality. i’m just not really feeling this bird.  7/10

this looks like a modern colorization of the famous duck from the hieroglyphs. i am absolutely in awe of their dedication to the medium and commentary on the transformative nature of art. 10/10

look at this good boy! he is patiently awaiting a treat and i wish to reward him with a multitude of gifts. 11/10

yuck. 2/10

ohoho, what a dynamic three quarters angle! the artist’s ability to capture the essence of duck in 3d space is so refreshing to witness. 10/10

this bird’s looking a bit sickly, i think it has to do with the highlights being in weird places. hope he feels better soon. 5/10

a bit more minimalist this time around. the lack of legs makes it seem as though he’s resting on the surface of the water, and i really admire how it sets a scene and makes me feel like i’m really there. 9/10

i’m really digging the positive energy coming from this bird. i can’t explain why, but i feel like that animal’s my friend. 10/10

this is a goose. 0/10

[sour-charity]

I’m crying at the pure rage I feel from the last one

[memesandlaughs]

[fuckyeahuglycars]

me: maintains a 5 second following distance for safe braking every other driver on the road: