The Hat Man

[thesillystretchyman]

to sum up Pinterest:

[thesillystretchyman]

I’m doing a write up after a maths exam right now and one of the questions is “How did you study for this exam?”

How am I supposed to tell her that my study system entirely consisted of drawing a memory sigil on my notes and winging the fuck out of the test?

[thesillystretchyman]

I just walked into a diner with like 18 different signs describing the opening and closing hours, from 7 to 7. The door is unlocked. An old man is drinking a coffee in the corner. There is a server at the counter. I sit down. Immediately, he checks his watch (5:34), looks me dead in the eyes (I am scared), and says, “we are closed.” I leave.

[thesillystretchyman]

Laying on the ground kicking my feet watching the toaster toast my sandwich rn. This is all I have, and strike me down if it ain’t a perfect joy releaser

[contemptible-scoundrel]

flawlessly moving my head in sync with a hypnotists swinging pocket watch to neutralize his technique before punching him in the throat and stealing his wallet

[thesillystretchyman]

THE BIG RAT SAID MORE FUCKJNG COLD

>:(

[thesillystretchyman]

Watch my computer. I gotta go beat up that baby.

[thesillystretchyman]

Immediately after posting this, one of the walking ones (toddler) walked over to me, staring. I didn’t mean it, please, I’m—

[thesillystretchyman]

Watch my computer. I gotta go beat up that baby.

[thesillystretchyman]

Gorbachev? Dude, I love mafia movies!

[thesillystretchyman]

Tumblr’s smorgasbord-style feed is nice for casual scrolling. Pinterest is for competitive scrolling: I have a 0.01.10 time for iced coffee Pinterest any percent from the home page.

[dogpuppy]

[thesillystretchyman]

Visiting Family for the Week!

My ibuprofen usage has gone up by 400% in three days. 0-0

[thesillystretchyman]

Dude, remember wheat thins? Those little salty sweet fuckers? I had totally forgotten about them but DAMN. That’s a snack. Ten crunches out of ten.

[thesillystretchyman]

I’ve been doing work for so long that I can’t even tell you what I’m writing about anymore. I clicked the Am I Gay? Test on the citation generator website just to feel something

[thesillystretchyman]

Love the classic Buffy episodes like “Buffy slays a horde of vampires,” “Buffy kills a bug demon,” and “Buffy kills a regular guy and has to deal with real world consequences.” Classic.

[thesillystretchyman]

Just walked past a house with the car license plates An4l and F00tb11. My favourite duo.

[thesillystretchyman]

that one friend with a special interest in music who also has the worst music taste ever: DUDE. toxic horsegirl pornstar revolution dropped a new album.”

me: …