The Singular Noodle

Taking The World One Pasta at a Time. 26 she/her USA

[scumbagsblog]

where's that masterpost of quotes that have no right going as hard as they do. I'd like to submit "Protagonism is best left to teens and the insane"

[molabuddy]

recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing

[molabuddy]

btw this has graduated into me just saying "the trout population will be affected" and then not elaborating

[tenorgender]

god didn't give me a dick because he knew I'd get hard when I heard a rich choral harmony

[textless]

[ilikeit-art]

[cartoondog]

we are gonna be vacuuming up this post for the next five years

[im-a-dragon-cawcaw]

[michelledrawz]

Positively GUTTED that I don't live anywhere close to the Celina 52 Truck Stop. I would absolutely love a photo with Piss Jugman u_u

[prayandgay]

memes from my missionary siblings

i hope you guys like them because i think these are absolutely hilarious

[official-mormon-posts]

official mormon post

[lovertm]

slug & snail nails by annaxnailz

[princessnijireiki]

I love it so much when cartoon villains are like, "horrid greetings, your vile wretchedness," or "foul morning," "disgusting evening," "wicked nightmares," "sleep abominably, and bite the bed-bugs back" instead of normal salutations

[cannibalchicken]

[julieterbang]

thepastatable__

[o-ceti]

my one skill is expertly manipulating the shape of the eggs I’m cooking so that they fit perfectly onto my toast every time

[o-ceti]

Bow down to your king

[o-ceti]

I can’t stop outdoing myself

[crying-over-really-dumb-things]

Remember that post? The one that said “what if we all have super powers but they’re so mundane we don’t realize?” That post? This is proof that post was right

[lezbianz]

this is for a part-time job as a barista

[inactiveaccount082024]

on an application to work the front desk of a hotel

[chasetriesagain]

If minimum wage you'd like to make, This ancient quiz you'll have to take.

Step right up, but be prepared. Those who fail are poverty-snared. Question One! If your labor proves most fruitful, Raking quarters by the bootful, Who should excess profits reap, Me the wolf or you the sheep? Question Two! If, by merit, you're made pope, What will be your fervent hope? Law and order justly paired? Or mercy and the guilty spared?

Question Three! If a train should leave Topeka Driven by a solar squeaker, How then should the cat behave? Give it milk or give it grave? Question Four! Do you have a criminal record?

[thickness-protection-program]

Rich people being held accountable for their atrocities isn't a flavor I get to taste often but when I do it's oh so delectable

[ephermeres]

Zuko: There’s something off about her. I can’t explain it but she’s slipping. 

 Azula:

[weirdinternet]

[yeevil-deactivated20141203]

probably not that

[sweetsweethate]

there is a crazy dude on twitter who takes photos of athletes from different sports and finds them an art piece that fits exactly with the photo and the PRECISION he does it is amazing

[violentdevotion]

@sketiana

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

you found the only good gimmick account ever made