I'm a Whore, You Idiot

Monty. 26. A tiny she/they who wants to give off true Cryptic energy.

[thesoftestpunk]

Main Masterlist

Officially saying (after like 3 years) that I don’t write anymore rip but enjoy these works anyway 🫶🏻

Co-acquaintanceship

Blue Is Your Favorite Color

Taste of Whiskey

Outside, up all night

I want you, Baby I need you MasterList

[sovietnam]

[muppetshow2026]

fucked up in the club asking the dj to play flight of the bumblebee

[vivicas-dollhouse]

And i shit you not the pasta was creepy

[raccooncomic]

221. Peanut Butter

[eptck]

you have to be kinder to people with memory issues.

you have to be kinder to people who are slow processors.

you have to be kinder to people who don't understand your jokes.

you have to be kinder to people who forget important dates.

you have to be kinder to people with cognitive decline.

you have to be kinder to people who were always this way, too.

you have to be kind. you have to be kind.

[bonivers]

i almost let comparison be the thief of my joy again

[snoomfies]

snoopy pride flags :)

[thesoftestpunk]

Me watching my automatic litter box dump all the clean litter in with the dirty stinky poo poo pee pee litter in the waste bin

[goldensunset]

when the characters never really make peace with it

[sacred-portal]

[angelbabyspice]

line his shit up

[perfectanimal]

?

[thesoftestpunk]

Going to a new dentist bc my last one cut my gums and I was too scared to go back makes me feel like such a loserrrrrrrrrrr

[thesoftestpunk]

Did one of those 2 hour painting class things for a coworkers baby shower and I painted this :3

[qqchurch]

[advanced-passenger-train]

[pervocracy]

[noelle-ism]

How they get barack obamma and joe bidden to say this stuff toigether

[coto524]

as a welsh person i want you all to accept that W is a vowel because honestly it makes pronouncing acronyms so much easier. wlw becomes ‘ooloo’, wjec becomes ‘oojeck’, love yourselves and stop giving us shit when we tell you welsh has 7 vowels. english actually has 15 vowel sounds but because y’all only use 5 letters you have to rely on a spelling system devised by satan

[saethwr-blog]

and please, enough with the “keyboard smashing” jokes. not original, not funny.

[coto524]

“ #okay but can any of y'all even pronounce your own town names tho? #bye”

yeah, we can actually because the spelling is phonetic. meanwhile english folks have placenames like bicester or keighley or beaulieu, which you have to learn the pronunciation for individually because the rules are so inconsistent. i mean people can’t even agree how to pronounce marylebone but sure welsh place names are the weird ones

[coto524]

“#But are you aware your language literally looks like a potato rolled across a keyboard”

fun fact: for decades children were beaten for speaking welsh in school, even in areas where english was barely spoken, because the government decided in 1847 that the language made people lazy and immoral

fun fact: welsh orthography is actually easy to read if you take your head out of your arse for one minute and learn our alphabet - just like french, or spanish, or korean, because surprise! languages use different spelling systems that are not based on english. novel, i know - and in the 18th century, travelling schools were able to teach people to read and write welsh in a matter of months, so that wales enjoyed a literate majority, a rare thing in europe at the time

fun fact: the english have been taking the piss out of welsh for years, just like they’ve been doing for irish, and scots gaelic, and cornish, and british sign language, and a hundred and one other languages, because evidently the fact that the whole world isn’t anglophone and monocultured and Still Part Of The Empire is a problem, and something that needs to be corrected