답답해 한

| 22 | Gemini | Male | 답답 한 to describe the feeling of being stuffy or suffocated. 한 oppression and pain. Personal, but carried as a torch or badge of patriotism.

[newtypezaku]

[escuerzoresucitado]

opalized bones

[theunmarkedtombstone]

"Pray for us." HERETIC (2024)

[thesovereignlord]

"The path I take is simply mine. It is whatever direction I turn, and any rock I stumble on. My path is wherever I am, and I do not stray."

[black-white-and-leather]

[zegalba]

Sony: PlayStation Magazine Ad (1999)

[thepeacefulgarden]

[wagnetic]

[Text: In recovery circles, I’ve heard this described as “going to the hardware store for oranges.” In this case the hardware store is your parents and the oranges are the love and support you rightfully wish they could give you. Unfortunately, the hardware store simply doesn’t stock oranges. And we save ourselves a world of hurt when we learn to stop going to people for things they aren’t capable of giving us.]

[into-the-weeds]

#oh I like this#but I like it better as a metaphor for a pattern of seeking out emotionally unavailable people rather than expecting kindness from parents#because you know that the hardware store isn’t supposed to carry oranges#I would say the thing about parents is more like expecting a grocery store that’s always out of oranges to have oranges next time#it’s not unreasonable to expect oranges from a grocery store#but this store will never have oranges despite this (via @wagnetic)

[dalniente]

I have to respectfully disagree with those tags. I see what they're saying and it still works from a metaphor standpoint, but the issue is they're ultimately still expecting parents to be a grocery store.

It is absolutely crucial to understand that parents are no different from anybody else. "A pattern of seeking out emotionally unavailable people" can very easily still apply to parents! They don't become grocery stores just because they're parents. And in this case, your parents aren't a grocery store. They are not "out" of oranges, the oranges were never in stock and they were never going to be.

It's okay if you thought they were a grocery store! Parents are supposed to be grocery stores. It is not unreasonable to expect oranges from something you THINK is a grocery store, especially when everyone else is saying "look at these oranges I got at the grocery store, which is my parents." But at some point, you look around and realize-- wait, what the fuck, MY parents aren't a grocery store at all! no wonder I can't get oranges here! And then you stop expecting the oranges entirely.

That's what this is really about, at its core. It's about modifying expectations, not finding new ways to explain why they're still reasonable. If your parents are a grocery store that's just perpetually out of oranges, then you still have reason to believe this time might be different. They COULD have oranges this time; they're a grocery store. Maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time--

No. It won't be. Because the place where you are looking for oranges is fundamentally incapable of giving them to you.

It isn't fair that you got a hardware store when everyone else got groceries. You deserved to have oranges too, all the oranges you ever wanted. You know you deserve this, just like you know parents are supposed to be grocery stores-- it's why you keep checking! But at the end of the day, the simple fact is, you got a hardware store. It sucks and it's not fair and it's okay to feel whatever way you feel about it, for as long as you need to, but at some point...

...you gotta stop going to the hardware store for oranges.

[ex-riddlecats]

you know youll hear some weird shit *lists 4 of the most well known horror movies of the 80s*

[gentleaddictions]

[ipeeifart]

[mansand]

[love-letters-i-never-sent]

[thesovereignlord]

Sometimes I open my mouth and nothing comes out.

Stories I tell that I never finish. Jokes I laugh but recieve no echo. Crowds I stand in with no reflection.

I'm used to fading and finding myself translucent. Yet sometimes, every once in a while- I just want to be heard.

[teleostuber]

Ow fuck

[gentleaddictions]

[thesovereignlord]

I want to fucking kill myself. Like I won't cause I'm not fucking stupid, but I spend almost every minute of my life wanting to fucking end it.

The problem is you can't like, tell anybody or everyone looses their shit. Either they're mad at you, or terrified, or they want to put you in a fucking hospital. You can't even tell a computer you want to fucking die without it freaking out and panicking on you too. Every single time.

I'm just so fucking tired.

[thesovereignlord]

The last time one of my friends told me they'd be fine I let it go,

I haven't seen them smile since.