I will shitpost you

*villager noises*

[politijohn]

Hey!my boyfriend is thinking of voting for trump but he’s the kind of person that if you explain something with facts he’ll change his view on it. I’m really bad at processing/ explaining things. Do you think you could like give me a run down on why he shouldn’t be re-elected

And an article for your pleasure

[politijohn]

Because we have a Presidential election within days

[theprideful-deactivated20251201]

You know you made those epic flag things for international lesbian day, where you stare at them for a bit and then you see the flags in mid air, can you make them for other flags pls!! they're really cool!!

heck yea! I'll upload them asap :)

[theprideful-deactivated20251201]

LGBTQ+ Contrast Flags

Lesbian | Gay/Queer | Bisexual

Transgender | Pansexual | Asexual

Aromantic | Aroace | Nonbinary

how to use: stare at the dot in the middle for 15-20 seconds, then look at a blank wall or space. for better results, make sure you are in a well-lit area. then watch the magic happen, and have a queer day!

[thespringnightingale]

THIS IS COOL AS HELL

[gothicdarling]

[the-one-the-only-noah]

as is this one

[theeldritchbeesechurger]

Just in case i wasnt clear

[mothmans-sexy-lamp-deactivated2]

This one is too

[theoneandonlyredrobin]

In case me cheering for his death didn’t give you the hint

[smolanxiouscatvoid]

This one as well

[thespringnightingale]

incase you didnt catch it

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i couldn’t fit it in but a bonus level is: i hope trump doesn’t die just yet bc it could affect the election/i would like him to experience intense suffering first/it’s fine if trump dies but only if pence does too.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

oh, the orange shithead got covid!!! oh it’s like our birthdays all came early!!! oh i hope he dies!!!  🎉 🎉 🎉

[ks-caster]

The epitome of “everyone was thinking it.” lol

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

oh, were we trying to be discrete? what nonesense!

to crystal sparkling blindingly clear: 

i hope trump dies!🥳🥳🥳

i hope his cabinet dies! 🎊🎊🎊

i hope his entire family (minus the teenager) DIES!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

they are all complicit in the highest level of treason, fascism, the destruction of civilian lives, and the revival of nazism in the 21st century. would love to watch someone dip them one by one in gasoline like a candle wick in hot wax then light them up like a xmas tree 🎄🎄🎄 a menorah 🕎🕎🕎 or a pyrotechnical parade on new year’s eve 🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🔥🔥🔥. to reiterate, I would consider trump’s death a festivity a holiday a salubrious celebratory occasion a marvelous means of welcoming in the new year, a cause for cigars and party hats and passing out the champagne 🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂. finally something to celebrate in 2020 ❤️❤️❤️

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

Uh… That’s a bit violent

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

check the tags  💋 💋 💋 💋 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

hey cumfycock i recommend calling 1-800-222-1222, boot polish isn’t supposed to be ingested

[exoticmoonsstuff]

90% of U.S coronavirus deaths are due to his administration but sure wish him well. Not to mention queer, indigenous, black, and other minority lives lost due to his policies

[dorklesblog]

It's beginning

[dorklesblog]

Wait, who captured this photo? Some unknown number sent it... They caught evidence!

[milkoftheflesh]

Could be one of our insiders!

[dorklesblog]

Insiders?

[milkoftheflesh]

Actually the only insider I know is this mouse inside my walls

[dorklesblog]

The only insider I know is the skeleton inside me- anyway what were you saying!

[milkoftheflesh]

I have no idea anymore

[dorklesblog]

Anyway, um, quick question...

WHERE THE HELL ARE WE. WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!

[thenarrators-blog]

The moths were lost, in an endless sandscape. All they could see is dustwinds and sand for miles... Lost.

[milkoftheflesh]

I'm gonna lick the sand!

Okay it's just normal sand

[dorklesblog]

What were you expecting... And sand tastes like shit

[milkoftheflesh]

No it tastes like gravel shit tastes probably like mud but worse

[dorklesblog]

No gravel tastes crunchy

[dorklesblog]

I see a mountain over here!

[imaveryevilgirl]

I grab a fistful of of dirt and gravel from the side of the mountain and stick it in my mouth

As I chew you can hear the sound of rocks scraping against teeth. The crunch of me biting down on any unfortunate insects to be picked up.

I swallow

"Tastes like dirt" I say.

[dorklesblog]

Hey, don't eat the dirt. Hey a tree!

[imaveryevilgirl]

I walk up to the tree and start shoving leaves in my mouth.

Leaf by leaf, branch by branch, log by log, I slowly eat the tree.

"Tastes like tree" I say

[dorklesblog]

What if I...

Would you eat this rock over here?

[imaveryevilgirl]

"Yes" I say

I unhinge my jaw and swallow the rock whole.

"Tastes like rock" I say

[dorklesblog]

What in the fu-

[imaveryevilgirl]

"Have any other delicious food?"

[dorklesblog]

I'm kinda scared of you now, what's your name?

[imaveryevilgirl]

"Hmmm" I say as I think back on my millions of years in this reality.

"I have been called many names. Starvation, Hunger, and more recently Hungy. But you, my friend. You can call me Bob."

[dorklesblog]

“Well uh... Thanks, uh- Bob” I say in a worried tone.

I step back a few in fear.

[imaveryevilgirl]

"If you have no more things to satisfy my hunger, then I must be going. I hope o meet you again soon."

I phase through the floor.

[dorklesblog]

Where'd he even come from?

[thenarrators-blog]

Confused, and uh... What the actual fuck just happened. They continued on...

[hsgrace]

[-]

[imnotapelican-deactivated202311]

Okay okay so I was at Party City like 5 minutes before closing and I felt bad about it but I needed to get some shit and the person at the counter was like imma head in the back if that’s okay, grab me when ur ready to check out and I was like yeah man that’s lit so I was just walking around looking at shit

*takes breath*

but THEN I saw this mysterious item on the ground and I was like whoa dude what’s that and so I picked it up right and it’s this tiny little plastic batman boomerang and I was alone in Party City at like 9 at night looking for something to keep me from jumping off a bridge so of course I wanted to throw it but also I have crippling social anxiety so I didn’t want to get the attention of the employee

*takes breath*

but I was so depressed and anxious and shit and I was so desperate for something to mean anything that I was like this is a sign this tiny ass plastic batman boomerang is a fucking sign and I’m gonna throw it right now because why the fuck not right and so I’m getting ready to throw it, even though there was no logical reason to do that, the only thing that made me want

*takes breath*

to throw it was my deeply spiritual beliefs that were telling me that it was a sign, that this batman boomerang was a sign from god not to kill myself and a part of me truly believed that if I threw this boomerang it would come back to me, even though all

*takes breath*

laws of physics told me otherwise and so I was like gearing up to throw the God Boomerang but also psyching myself out because again, crippling anxiety, and then finally I was just like do it pussy and I THREW THE GOD BOOMERANG

*takes breath*

and I just watched it hit the ground and realized that a tiny, hopeful part of me had honestly thought that it would return and that was so fucking funny to me that I just started cracking up in the middle of this Party City, and I was so loud that the guy

*takes breath*

heard me and started walking towards where I was and I was like oh shit gotta stop laughing so hard and then I realized how sad it was that I was forcing myself to stop laughing when I needed joy so badly and that

*takes breath*

made me start crying even louder than I was laughing and I just sat down on the ground and picked up the boomerang and the employee found me and I threw it at him and left and that’s why I’m never going to Party City again

[dorklesblog]

The Baterang

[ryanhatesthis]

[bubblysun]

i have been waiting for this to show up in my dash forever

[ktkeen96-deactivated20141121]

ITS BACK

[ryanvallejo-deactivated20150514]

THIS IS MY FAVORITE

[sassafras--manson-deactivated20]

IT’S BACK

[khan2kool]

This has to be up there with the funniest shit ever.

[phobs-heh]

gonna reblog it everytime

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

IT HAS RETURNED TO US

[bog-dwelling-butch]

Wow I have not seen this in years, tumblr classic

[pyrobot1cs]

have I reblogged this yet

[thescaredfluid]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[aidashakur]

“6 months from now I will be in a different situation.”

Speak it into existence.

[foxyj26]

A better situation

[yllwlotus]

A healthier, more peaceful, positive situation.

[thespringnightingale]

can confirm

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

pa came down w/ the covid 10 days ago, ma came down w/ the covid 5 days ago, so my mental status can best be described as sitting quietly in a rickety rocking chair by the front door holding an old hunting rifle waiting to see what the long night will bring

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#it’s a stormy night in a cabin in the woods and there’s a knock at the door #i don’t respond #the knocking grows louder

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#i understand now while ya’ll are obsessed w/ Among Us

[emailmore]

oh hey youre finally awake u hit your head on a brick ouch.!! glad youre ok ^_^.... (holding a second brick behind my back!)

[roadtorecoverysuggestions]

Reason to recover #42:

The abuse you went through was not your fault.  You did nothing wrong.  You did not deserve to be treated that way.

[noxen-deactivated20251122]

Flying rats would be a good idea until it's not

[thespringnightingale]

I was born in the wrong generation

If I were born during the times when slavery was at its peak, because i am white, i could legally own slaves. I would find a way to build up power easily and fast, so that i become one of the higher-thought-of people. then, i would buy every fucking slave i could manage. but- heres the catch- instead of being a lil bitch, i would let them live their lives as they wished, but therefore, since technically they are under my ownership, nobody else can touch them. This way, they dont end up being remarketed, retargeted , etc, and, they are safe. Anyone who touches them will get fuckin beat by my power, since i have a powerful image. Checkmate. Nobody can hurt them, they have a safe place, etc. boom.

[thespringnightingale]

"Blue lives don't exist. You can choose to be a cop. You can't choose to be Black or Hispanic, or Asian. You can't choose to be repressed or murdered in cold blood. Blue. Lives. Don't. Exist. Reform police." -my friend who i completely agree with ((but i dont want to name them for their sake and safety and privacy))

[ourrevolution-deactivated202202]

"This country was founded by a group of slave owners who told us that all men are created equal. To my mind, that is what's known as being stunningly and embarrassingly full of shit." - George Carlin

...PolitiFact going through history to fact check this guy was like that time CNN went through history to dig up dirt on Bernie, and all they found were videos of him planting trees, and telling kids that racism is bad.

[antique-scarecrow]

Also, the people who most need this "normal for their time" attitude to be true are the ones who are nervous that some of their own prejudices would not stand up to scrutiny 100 years from now. They need to believe history will treat people like them kindly, and they don't need to change or do anything to earn it