staff?

send your questions and complaints to the staff’s office in the askbox below | /j /humor /comedy / not actual staff | office hours from 8AM-5PM CET | you may address me as harry, frank, colin, dear sir, kind sir, or staff office

[thestaffoffice]

there is simply nothing more tumblr™️ than goncharov.

[thestaffoffice]

I do so adore receiving messages in the inbox. It’s like having little love letters written to me personally. Sometimes the love letters say “did you see this post?” and sometimes the love letters say “That post of yours made me laugh” and sometimes the love letters say “I feel sad, tell me something to make me feel better” and sometimes the love letters contain an incomprehensible combination of consonants that both confound and amuse me to no end. Yes, send me your “ASHSKSKSKFHFJ” and your “sQwkwkwlPP”. I see you. My heart is full.

[thestaffoffice]

Wioghti

I find myself — confusingly — aroused.

[thestaffoffice]

kind sir, are male presenting nipples allowed here?

Dear It’s Tessa Ray Bitch,

All nipples are allowed in this space, and indeed, encouraged — with one large category of nipples excepted. To be precise, the nipples of transphobes, homophobes, racists, sexists, ageists, ableists, and generally assholes can stay the hell out.

However, the nipples of everyone else, male presenting, female presenting, or not presenting at all, are as the French say les bienvenus.

The more the merrier, yadda yadda, etc etc.

Signed,

Sir Staff Office

P.S. — Happy New Year! Or should I say, Happy Nipple Year. Cheerio ✨

[thestaffoffice]

gonching our way into 2023

[thestaffoffice]

by god, we gonched our way into 2022 and we will gonch our way out of it

[thestaffoffice]

gonching our way into 2023

[thestaffoffice]

someone needs to ooga-booga rishi sunak. give him a good jumpscare. just enough to get him to piss and shit his pants on live television. thanks that’s all i’m asking

[thestaffoffice]

i agree

I love it when I’m right.

[thestaffoffice]

why

Let me answer your question with another and perhaps more important question: why the fuck not?

[staffs-secret-blog]

Come on tumblr where's the candy cane icon now that it's December. You must have one somewhere

[thestaffoffice]

We do, it’s just that the candy cane icon is currently being held hostage by the tumblr gold logo. Hopefully, the staff will ensure the candy cane’s swift release as soon as possible.

NOTE: I MADE THE GIF. CANDY CANE DESIGN BY ALEXANDRA ERKAEVA

ID: the golden tumblr logo has moving eyes on it and it looks bored. it's holding a nerf gun and pointing it towards a candy cane tumblr logo, which has large cute eyes and looks unbothered by the situation. NOTE: the candy cane design is by Alexandra Erkaeva, not me. The gif is by me. /end ID

[thestaffoffice]

It’s actually a dinosaur skeleton, I just can’t spell.

For reference: these were the sword/knives.

These go hard, as the youths say. The knives look like they would come in handy. For, you know. Peeling potatoes. Obviously.

[thestaffoffice]

Personally, speaking for myself, in my opinion, respectfully,

I fully agree.

[thestaffoffice]

Excuses me kind sir.

You created the bestestestest app icon and instead of firing that alien/pizza, you push tumbrlers to illigaly print their own hoodie with tumbrl's reaper??

Where's your spice™.

My spice is in my blood. This is generally why the vampires stay away from me. Too spicy.

[thestaffoffice]

one time a frog peeded in my hand :(

unfortunate. :((

[thestaffoffice]

do you trust the golden rabbit?

perhaps.

[thestaffoffice]

do you like cheese

yes.

[thestaffoffice]

would you

yes