friend: are u a big spoon or a little spoon?
me: im a knife
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Cosmic Funnies
No title available
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

@theartofmadeline
No title available

ellievsbear
KIROKAZE

tannertan36

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

titsay

Origami Around
Peter Solarz
Game of Thrones Daily
d e v o n

oozey mess
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
art blog(derogatory)
trying on a metaphor
Claire Keane

seen from United Kingdom

seen from T1

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@thestormcaster
friend: are u a big spoon or a little spoon?
me: im a knife
Source: https://twitter.com/ImpPoster
I should be able to sue men who touch me without permission
Under Icelandic settlement law I can kill people who call me names
UNMUTE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! #intears #lmao
What kind of pokemon is this?
an electric toothbrush
For the love of god turn the sound on
A porcupine’s Halloween present (+ original sound effects)
I had no idea giant porcupines made fucking precious sounds
THAT’S THE SOUND IT MAKES!?!?!?
UN-BE-FUCKING-LIEVABLE
We got asked if this is cute and okay. I can very happily say yes, this is stupid cute and those are happy porcupine noises.
One of my favorite things about doing zoo work was all the noises you never realize the animals make when they’re excited or interested in a new thing. Coatimundis squeak and snuffle, and giant porcupines make that sound.
Omgggg the sounds.
Teddy is back on my dash and all is right with the world
WE ALMOST TO OCTOBRE POST OF PUNKINBEARS
A compilation of amazing halloween lip art! If you can do anything like this, please make a post and tag @sixpenceee.
What kind of sorcery is this
i can appreciate how difficult this was
Happy October
Stick figure costumes
(Source)
Source
[to any deity in particular]: Hi. I’ve brought shitty alcohol, two electric candles, a chocolate bar, my many issues, and an undying love for you. Can you help me un-fuck myself?
[deity]: sighs deeply
Halloween countdown: 88 days
Hot Take but “customer service voice” is just sfw sub voice
Managers are Switches
Greek mythology: aren’t the god great they only sexually harassed my wife and turned one of my children into a stag beetle this week
Norse mythology: dînghïr œne nüt got his name when he killed a lizard the size of every mountain in the world without Odin’s permission so Odin thought it would be funny to punish him by making him fart so hard one of his nuts flew off
Chinese mythology: This guy just shot down 9 of the 10 suns scorching the planet but he’s mean now so his wife and her rabbit overdosed on immortality pills and floated into the moon so he won’t be a tyrant forever and we made cake in her honor
This is weirdly cute and enchanting
this is gonna be in my halloween playlist