Learning from my Sugaring Mistakes
When I first started out in the bowl, I was eager and excited to see money flowing in. Don’t get me wrong, when I first started I was hustling like crazy and within two months I managed to make around seven grand. It was insane, I was living the life and of course I spent it all on clothing and materialistic things instead of saving it. I was in a new lifestyle, and I was proud to be going buck-wild with money that wasn’t mine.
Here are some mistakes I made, and after finally learning from them and approaching things a different way I have managed to make even more money and be 10x smarter about it. From my personal experiences…
1. Not balancing your life:
The most hectic and craziest thing about being a sugar baby is being too caught up in it. I mean you are hustling and trying to find maybe 1-3 long term SD’s. You need back up plans, you need extra cash… yes I get it. But it becomes overwhelming and you loose track of important things like family, school, jobs, especially priorities. You need to be able to use sugaring as a side thing until you have mastered the art of time balance. Me being super OCD, I have a board in my room (3 of them actually - one for weekly, monthly events (school/family/work related) and another personally for sugar related) This has helped me keep balance of my week making sure all my shit was in place. If I had a class at 3:30 and a POT wanted a date for 3:45, I would politely decline and tell him another time. If he made a huge fuss about it, then he is NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. Real SD’s know that we are REAL HUMANS and we have responsibilities as well. Imagine him as your SD…. the amount of stress. As a sugar baby you should have your time balanced! If you are stressed, the POTS can sense it, and you don’t preform as well on dates. I.e. rushing.
2. Not having a job while sugaring:
I know some ladies use sugaring as their full time job, and if you do congrats and kudos to that. I have learned though, through my very own personal experience that not having a job made me more desperate for money. It was like living from pay cheque to pay cheque - I was willing to go on cheap dates just for an extra couple hundred bucks. My standards were lowered, and I was listening to men bash and be completely arrogant about everything. I sat there quietly and nodded my head while waiting for the time to be over when I could leave. Having a job however, has made me grow with my standards because sugaring is just extra money. The money I make from my job is for my necessities for day to day living. I’m not saying go get a career, but having a simple job like serving or bar tending can really help. Plus you get tips! It keeps me still in line with reality, and also it keeps an eye away from me when I bring in large amounts of cash to deposit into my bank all the time.
3. Rushing e-mails and messages:
Once you open your account on SeekingArrangement, or any other place you will be flooded with e-mails, and after a while it gets to the point where you have found so many salty guys that you are just done and over with trying to get to know anyone else. What do you do next? Well, once a guy messages you, your first response “Well what’s your budget like” or something along the lines of that. I used to do it because I wanted to know who was worth my time and who I should be talking to. However, I missed out on probably a lot of great guys because of this. By right off the bat talking like this you already seem like a girl that is purposely all about transaction (Obviously that’s what you want) but the men that are giving you the money don’t want to feel used like that. You need to fake it, you need to suck it up and you need to go with the flow. But in all reality, treat these men with the most respect you can give. Talk to them about what their hobbies/interests are, get to know them a bit. Lie a bit about yourself to make it seem like there could be a connection, then talk about his expectations - long term or short term. Don’t bring up the allowance part yet, but then ask to meet first to see if there is a connection. BUT ALWAYS ASK FOR A PRESENT/MONETARY GIFT TO PROVE IF HE IS SERIOUS ABOUT BEING A SUGAR DADDY. It is simple to ask them, tell them to bring it to your first meeting. Realistically, you walk away with a new computer, jewellery, money or whatever? Even if there wasn’t a connection or maybe there is at least you got something. Then after that drop the question, well I am interested in having an arrangement lets work out details. By doing this, he is already smitten and he is willing to do what you want. It’s harder to play it the other way around because he hasn’t met you. Take this advice… works 110% of the time.
4. Putting Up With Bullshit I Let Slide:
When a man try to make advances at me, I was shy and I was timid. I thought that would better my situation with him but guess what? It doesn’t. It tells you the type of man he is - aggressive, and tries to remain in control. This is your game, you are in control and always remember that. Don’t go sleeping with your POT on the first date, don’t go kissing your POT on the first date. I mean unless this guy is forking up lots of money and gifts for you, because girl trust me you are beautiful and YOU DESERVE to have the ultimate best, don’t settle for less. Don’t do it for free! There are college boys to have fun with for free. These men on the other hand have money and gifts to spoil you in for doing things you used to for free. Just remember, you are beautiful and you are powerful. This is your game, so own it like the woman you are.
5. Showing Off and Telling Off:
I was ecstatic to have incredible luxuries that I could afford now from the sugaring money I had. It was incredible as well to go on trips randomly on weekends, and to have an unbelievable experience. You want to tell the world, you want everyone to share in your pride and joy but guess what… they really don’t care. They are jealous, mean and manipulative. I mean you may not say you’re sugaring/escorting but they come up with the worst and most brutal things. Friends leave you, family doesn’t trust you… it’s hard to keep up with all the lies and suddenly you’re stuck in this huge black hole that you can’t get out of. What I have learned is to keep it for tumblr, and to those that you trust. I mean here is a place you can go off, and other amazing girls will comment and share their stories as well. I have met amazing girls from here and they are all supportive. There is no difference between the escorts, the sex workers and sugaring community. We are all in it together, and respectively I love hearing from each and every one of them because every one is just hustling as hard as you are! But seriously, leave the jealousy and hating for real life. We are all in this together, working together. Not competing against each other and I wish everyone all the best and I will always offer my support and help whenever someone needed it. But in the real world, they are jealous and they can’t handle that you are being more successful than them. Although it’s fun to let people see a bit of your lifestyle, keep it to one cover story and stick with it.
There’s plenty of more mistakes I have made while sugaring, and of course that’s all I could really think of now that are the most important what I have learned. To all my other Sugar Babies/Escorts/Sex Workers… add in your mistakes you have learned from when you were a beginner. Hopefully we can make this post super lengthy and have it for everyone that is just starting out.
Until next time my loves…
