Taco

Multifandom. Multishipper. Pfp by @MelodyReaper on twitter. Writer on Ao3 : the_taco_writes

[thetacowrites]

A rage-baiting bored Theo and a pining Draco Malfoy. Whatever could go wrong 😂

Sucker for you is free to read on Ao3.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[thetacowrites]

Recently I started playing Cyberpunk 2077 and as someone who's always loved reading dystopia, it amazes me how every part of it makes so much sense and the story is just so great. So immersive. I find myself yapping about it to my writer friends. Because!! The story??!! And the world building??

The concept of cyberpsychos is especially my favourite.

Had myself a run in with my first (been avoiding it because I legit didn't know if I was ready for it) and it took me three tries to figure it out.

And my hands were shaking because this person has been taken over by the upgrades they've had and the greed that led them to that state feels like some ancient Greek level tragedy.

Also Silverhand?

Hot shit. 👌

[nina-s0]

Bruce, seeing a vaguely black haired blob-person walk towards him: oh hey dickjasontimcassdukedamian

Blob-person: ?

Bruce, tearing up: I can't tell which of my kids you are

Alfred, who hasn't had a full head of hair since 1940: ...

Alfred: I think we may have given you too many painkillers, Master Bruce.

[thebibliosphere]

The kid next door (talking toddler age) is playing outside and just wiped out in his Fisher Price car, and I just heard the babysitter say, “oh no, your insurance premium is definitely going to go up!” And the kid who had only been mildly sniffling before made the most confused, but startled sound you’ve ever heard.

Just very clearly an attempt at saying, “my what?”

He straight up forgot about his scraped knee and is now worried about whatever the fuck an insurance premium is.

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

[just-french-me-up]

the urge to write is like a cat meowing for dear life for someone to open the goddamn door, who then shows utter disinterest in said open door

[papayafromtv]

something so neat to me about the dynamic of Jason being seen as the cool/rebellious big-brother because of the arguing with Bruce and the guns and the being-a-crime-lord thing, and Tim and Damian forever being the two younger brothers desperately trying to get Jason's attention and be his favourite, to the point where they'll compete with each other over him and act completely differently whenever he's at the manor just to seem 'cool' to Jason.

they'll be silently sitting watching TV together in amicable silence and then the second Jason wanders in and asks what they're watching they'll break out into a massive fight, throwing insults back and forth because it's one of the few things they know will make Jason laugh.

Tim: shut the fuck up, you're being too loud! this is why Talia sent you here, you know. she wanted you to learn from Batman how to sneak around because back at the league you wouldn't keep your fucking mouth closed. Damian: please, she sent me here because i actually serve a purpose; unlike you. you being Red Robin is like National Geographic being a section on Disney+, nobody knows who the fuck you're there for! Jason: *chuckles lightly, barely paying attention as he scrolls on his phone* Damian: HA! I MADE HIM LAUGH, I WIN! Jason: ?

Tim will also just appear at Jason’s elbow to offer his favourite snack to earn favourite younger sibling points, and Damian follows him around like a lost puppy dog loudly talking about everything he’s accomplished since the last time Jason saw him so he can prove his worth. Bruce will watch Jason move about the kitchen to make himself food while Damian yaps at his heels and Jason is like. barely paying attention. giving a hum every now and then but otherwise minding his business. Tim comes in and instantly starts trying to ‘relate’ to Jason instead by scoffing and Damian and declaring him a child that should go away and leave them alone because ‘Jay and me are almost the same age, we get along better, Damian, it’s just the way it is.’ but Bruce has already watched Jason leave the room with his meal without looking back and neither of the other two have noticed.

Jason has no clue this is what the younger ones are doing, and he has no clue how much they look up to him. meanwhile Dick is well aware and he's never been more jealous in his fucking life.

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 83 (masterpost here)

Bruce: -need to tail them while you download the contents of the server, and Red Robin you contact the authorities. i'll see you soon.

Damian: on it.

Tim: so i'm just the phone guy now, huh?

Dick: i told you to come over to Diamond District and run with me for the night, Red. weapons dealings are always boring.

Bruce, tired: just do your jobs, please.

*connecting ping*

Jason: where's my favourite boy?

Dick: ...that could mean any of us, Hood.

Damian: i'm here.

Jason: THERE YOU ARE!

Tim: *loud snort* how insecure you feeling right now, Nightwing?

Dick: i don't want to talk about it.

Jason: ok baby boy, i need you over in the alley toot-sweet.

Damian: i'm kinda busy on a case right now, akhi.

Bruce: Hood, are you in need of back up?

Jason: no- why do you always assume everybody needs back up all the time? do you not have any trust in your children to handle themselves at any point in their lives??

Bruce: well maybe it's just because my children never contact me unless they need back up and i've learnt to expect it?

Dick: ooooh~

Jason, without missing a beat: not true, i hit you up for money like last week.

Bruce, dry: yes, i stand corrected.

Damian: what do you need from me in the alley? Red is being pretty useless tonight, he could go in my place.

Jason: no i need a child your age. i'm gonna go fight this woman in my neighbourhood, and if she brings out her kid to help her in the fight then i need you to take care of him.

*a beat*

Bruce: what?

Damian: is this the Caroline woman that banned you from your HOA?

Bruce: ...what?

Dick: oh my god, that's still going on?!

Jason: she called the cops on me for being 'too loud' despite the fact that she doesn't even live in my building and the night she called to complain i wasn't even fuckin' home because i was in Bludhaven with Dick.

Dick: *cackling* dude this woman hates you-!

Tim: what did the cops say?!

Jason: the cops work for me, Timmers. like, half the local precinct are on Red Hood's payroll and have been around me enough that they've gotten an inkling that 'Todd Peters from apartment 3B' is probably their boss in civilian form. they sent me a heads up that Carol was up to her usual shit and then told me to have a good night.

Tim: man, i really need to get my own territory so i can get dirty cops on my side.

Dick: *sympathetic click* not gonna happen while you're living under B's roof, i'm afraid.

Damian: yeah i tried to accept a bribe from a dirty cop once; Father hit me.

Bruce: i did not hit you, i lightly smacked you upside the head- you really need to stop telling people that i hit you. and can we get back to Hood and this Caroline woman? what's going on, i thought you said you didn't need back up?

Dick: oh he doesn't, Caroline isn't like. a rogue or anything.

Jason, bitterly mumbling: fuckin' might as well be, once i'm done with her.

Tim: Hood's in a civilian battle with a bunch of PTA moms in his neighbourhood that don't like him.

Bruce, slightly hopeful: they have an issue with the way Red Hood runs the alley?

Jason: *cackle* nope, sorry B! they love Hood, they just don't know i am Hood.

Dick: they sent out a Facebook warning about Jason because some kid broke into his house and got hurt in the security measures and they blamed him for it.

Jason: yeah- admittedly hearting the post from the Batman Facebook account probably wasn't a great plan; now they've gotten a massive ego boost and are trying to get an audience with the Red Hood to campaign that i run myself out of the alley.

Bruce: ...all this is because her child broke into your house?

Jason: YEAH IT'S FUCKED UP. WE HAVE A WHOLE-ASS TURF WAR GOING ON OVER HERE. ME AND MY GIRLS AND THE GAY COUPLE THAT LIVES ABOVE ME AGAINST THE ENTIRE HOA AND THIS BITCH'S ASSHOLE SON.

Damian: why are you fighting her tonight?

Jason: well, we figured out a way to attempt to 'settle our differences'. so i'm going to one of the evening HOA meetings with a bunch of my neighbours and me and Carol are going to attempt to have a friendly but public debate about the issue,

Tim: *snort*

Jason: and you know, i figured; hey, Damian's a mean kid.

Dick: *wheezes*

Bruce, sighing: Hood, don't say things like that about your brother.

Jason: NO IN A- IN A NICE WAY! i want him to back me in this debate so that he can put his skills to use and mentally eviscerate these middle-aged women while i grin in the background and drink wine straight from the bottle.

Damian: god- i- i wanna do that so bad- that's my dream way to spend an evening,

Tim: you're an odd child.

Jason: ok so get over here, the meeting starts in thirty minutes!

Damian: ok hold on-

Bruce: excuse me, Robin, you cannot just run off in the middle of a case like this. especially not to go bully civilians.

Damian: oh come on, Red can cover for me!

Tim, dryly: but then who will handle the phones?

Dick: *snickering*

Bruce: no, i'm not signing off on this. Robin, you're staying with me for the night, and that's final.

*seven seconds of silence*

Tim: *sudden wheeze*

Bruce, tired: ...what's going on over there?

Damian: you can't stop me if you have no car to catch me with.

*disconnecting ping*

Bruce: what did he-

Tim, still laughing: he took off in the Batmobile.

Dick: *cackles*

Jason, proud: i love that child.

Bruce: oh for- he knows i can track that car,

Jason: AH AH AH- YOU CAN'T. YOU CAN'T FOLLOW HIM, IT'S DANGEROUS TO HIS IDENTITY. if you bust in as Batman when he's in civilian form talking about the fucking Batmobile, it puts unnecessary strain on your secret identities! for safety, you have to let Damian attend!

Bruce: Hood, you can't just-

Jason: yes i can.

Bruce: Hood.

Jason, quickly: love you Dad.

*shocked silence*

Bruce: w-

*disconnecting ping*

Bruce: WH-???

Dick: ...genius move by Jason there, gotta admit.

Tim: that's the biggest get out of jail free card i think... in existence. he really wanted to see Damian argue with these neighbourhood moms.

Dick: i mean can you blame him? you saw the kid make that lawyer cry.

*a beat*

Tim: B, you ok there? kinda quiet.

*silence*

Dick: yeah i'm gonna head over to your guys' area-

Tim: -might have to take over for Batman tonight, i think.

[papayafromtv]

I fucking love it whenever you do Jason and Damian's league relationship as less of a "Jason was assigned Damian's protector and grew attached" and more of a "Jason finds this random small child while he's at the league and just goes:

fucking love al ghul family dynamics any which way you give me it but gotta say i do also like it when the jason-damian brotherhood was entirely without al-ghul origin. talia has no fucking idea why her kid keeps following the resurrected robin boy around and both her and ra’s are just watching them from across the training grounds like ‘do you think we should pull them apart or something?’. they have no idea why jason’s decided to inspire such loyalty within damian but it scares the shit out of them.

talia: this wasn’t supposed to happen. i specifically kept jason on the opposite side of the compound to keep them separate. how did they find each other.

ra’s: apparently jason escaped last night. this morning the guards found him in damian’s room reading ‘little women’ to him. they must have crossed paths.

*jason and damian across the way, jason teaching damian how to play hopscotch*

talia:

talia: this cannot be good for the al ghul name.

ra’s: can we separate them by force?

nearby assassin guard: …i don’t think that’s a good idea. the little prince seems to have imprinted.

talia:

ra’s:

talia: ‘imprinted’?

guard: francis tried to separate them this morning per your orders, my lady. the little prince bit him.

talia: …bit him?

guard: jason yelled ‘atta boy, cannibalise those who try to sever our mighty bond!’ and now every time anybody approaches the two damian bares his teeth and starts growling.

talia:

ra’s:

ra’s: this is horrible for the al ghul name.

[justslightlyconfused]

That ‘comment on your a03 work’ email hits like a line of cocaine every time. unmatched dopamine increase. shoutout to everyone who leaves a comment on fics. you deserve the world

[thetacowrites]

Want to read a superbat where Bruce is kinda very playboy coded. Does anyone have a rec?

🥺❤️

[robs-your-robins]

Do you think that Bruce sometimes pulls the ‘my parents are dead’ card? Yes, I get that it was a traumatic and formative event for him but it would also sort of be funny, especially if he’s doing it ironically.

Some socialite telling him that he can’t bring his kids to events, asking what his mother would have said and Bruce deadpans and goes, ‘I think she would have liked to have met her grandchildren. But of course, she never did’

His med school lecturers threatening to flunk him if he doesn’t hand in his essay on blood loss, only for Bruce to say ‘it’s just a touchy subject for me’ and the lecturer blue screening because shit

Some rogue tries to kidnap Bruce at some event, holding a gun to his head, just for Bruce to look at the rogue, almost tearfully and be like ‘i always knew I would end up like my dad’ and the rogue just panics because now they are in a room with a bunch of pissed off people because they’ve almost made the Princess Diana of Gotham cry.

Clark gets mad at him over something, yelling at him and of course Bruce is just no listening so Clark just snaps, Ma Kent’s favourite phrase of ‘who raised you???’ Only to completely fucking choke, pray for the ground to swallow him up because Bruce’s expression just slips a little (inside he’s hysterically laughing). Clark comes by again with a batch of cookies.

He can't obviously use it on the kids and they can't use it on him.

[thebat-musicman]

Tim, talking to a new super: Yeah a lot of stuff happens to people in my family when theyre 17

Tim: When my dad was 17 he ran off to train with assassins

Tim: When my older brother was 17 he became a crime lord

Tim: When I was 17 I briefly led an assassin cult

Tim: And then there’s my little brother, I’ve always kinda considered him the black sheep of the family

New super, bracing themselves: oh god

Tim, hissing: When he was 17 he went to med school

[abcdfghjklmpqrobin]

Au where nobody tells 10 year old Damian who Jason is. And the way they talk about him, Damian just assumes Jason is like a raccoon or something.

Damian: Grayson, why does Pennyworth leave food on the counter every night?

Dick, on his phone, not even paying attention: Oh, that's for Jason.

Damian: For 'Jason'?

Dick: Yeah. Sometimes he sneaks into the kitchen at night, so Alfred started leaving food out for him.

Damian, confused: I've never seen anyone here.

Dick: Well he doesn't always come. And last time, Bruce caught him crawling through the window and scared him away so, who knows when he'll show up again.

Damian, definitely thinking of a raccoon: So then Pennyworth is feeding a random stray that crawled out of God knows where?

Dick, annoyed: He's not a 'random stray', Damian, he's family, and he has been living in this house for way longer than you have.

Damian, trying to remember how long do raccoons live for:

Damian: I hope he doesn't die soon.

Dick: ????!!

*Later that night in the Bat-cave*

Tim, typing away in the computer:

Damian: Drake. Have you ever met Jason?

Tim: Uh. Stupid, annoying and looks like a skunk? Yes, why?

Damian, picturing a mix between a racoon and a skunk:

Damian: Is he friendly?

Tim: Well, the first time I met him, he attacked me, so...

Damian: Hmm... What did you do to provoke him?

Tim: What did I do to– Bitch–

Tim: Nothing! He just didn't like me taking 'what was his', or something.

Damian, nodding: You invaded his territory.

*The next day*

Damian: Father, when do you think Jason will visit again? I want to meet him.

Bruce: Um. I don't know, Damian. He doesn't come here often.

Damian: Why?

Bruce: Because he lives somewhere else.

Damian: Why doesn't he just live here with us instead? He would be safer.

Bruce, wincing: I don't think he would like that, Damian. He's not confortable here.

Damian: But, maybe if I befriend him I could convince him to stay.

Bruce, sighing: I don't think so, Damian. You have to respect his space.

Damian: Oh...

Damian: I hope he doesn't get rabies

Bruce: ???!!

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

okay. breathe. listen to my voice. can you tell me five things in this room you can fuck?

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

okay great. now list me four things in this room you can kill.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

beautiful. there you go. okay. now: tell me three things you can impose unjust taxes on.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

almost done. can you list two things you could shove in a pipe and smoke?

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

last one: one thing you could use as a makeshift weapon?

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

why are you still crying

[teatimetaker]

Don't kids say the wildest things?

Also Thomas Wayne wasn't that kind of doctor Timmy.

[pipluphue]

who else cares about tim and dami siblingism

[silvaaart]

him again