I also don't know what I'm doing here honestly

22//she/her------- asks are open! Headcanon Masterlist

[thethingswedotomorrow]

Good Omens Masterlist

All my Good Omens headcanons/fics in one list! I'll mention when they take place and if they have any warnings or spoilers here as well!

The Night an Angel and a Demon Get Insanely Drunk and Teach Each Other How to Act

Post-S1, no TW, no angst

Two Humans (and a Demon) Attempt to Educate an Angel

Post S2, no angst, ignores the ending of episode 6, no TW

Everything is Very Much Not Awesome

Post S2, heavy spoilers for finale, angst and humor, TW for sadness/lots of feelings

Aziraphale and ABBA

Post S2, no spoilers, no angst, no TW

Crowley's Letters

Post S1, lots of angst with a happy ending, TW for very light depression but not too bad

An Education on Human Anatomy

Pre S1, no TW, no angst

[thethingswedotomorrow]

How hard it must have been during the thousands of years Aziraphale and Crowley had to spend distanced from each other, so close but just barely out of reach?

Aziraphale thinking of Crowley every time something notable happened, mentally preparing all sorts of stories to tell him the next time they met. Passing his time working out how to frame his words in just the right order to pull a rare smile, or Heaven help him, maybe even a laugh.

Crowley ambling through towns half drunk, scanning every crowd for a head of white curls he knew would never appear. Searching for a smile he knew could never belong to anything other than a divine being, for eyes that Crowley knew he'd never in eternity earn the right to be seen by.

Aziraphale feeling such disdain at the demonic workings of the Other Side, and all they'd hope to accomplish with humanity, but still searching out one very specific, very serpentine demonic mark anywhere he went. When questioned, he would claim it was a principality's duty to be aware of his enemies. But he got a sort of sinking feeling in his stomach, the kind he could only match to the incident with Job, and a certain flaming sword.

Crowley trying to roam the Earth and relish all that humanity offered. All the pride and greed, if he took the credit he figured he'd might as well benefit from it. He was there for the greatest moments, the orchestras and the plays, the monuments and the paintings. All any of it did was remind him of the one other being in existence who he would like to enjoy it with. Without Aziraphale, it all just seemed to leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

Aziraphale finding himself, on days when he can't seem to quiet his own thoughts, turning to his left without quite knowing why. He only knew that he was always disappointed beyond measure when all he found was empty space, and no quick witted comment or sympathetic eyebrow raise.

Crowley driving down Whickber Street once a week like clockwork, but never brave enough to let himself slow when he passes Aziraphale's shop. He only allows himself one quick glance, just to ensure the Angel's safety. Anything else would be selfish, and Crowley knew deep down that he never was a very good demon.

Aziraphale stopping in at local pet shops around London, but only ever goes to the reptilian section. He'd never admit it, of course, but the sharp eyes and pointed tongues reminded him of companionship. A luxury he was keenly aware he could never afford.

Crowley, sitting in the backroom of an empty bookshop. Realizing now just how very close they had been. They were within reach. They had reached, he did at least. After four years, he realizes now how complacent he had gotten, so much so that he'd forgotten just how much loneliness stung.

He'd been worse off before, of course. After the fall he truly had nobody. No one to trust, to turn to, not even anyone to pray to.

All it had taken was four years free of Hell and Heaven, four years full of Aziraphale, of daily lunches and strolls through parks and gluing coins to the sidewalk to make the Angel sigh, of drinks after dinner and almost brushing hands, four years of almost, four years of not quite pretending.

He thinks they could have gotten there soon enough. Without the whole Gabriel and the Second Coming business, they could have made it. Their entire existence, they'd been a team. They'd spent so many centuries too close and too far at the same time, what's a few more years? He'd never know now.

Crowley, sitting in the backroom of an empty bookshop.

Aziraphale, sitting in his newly appointed office, reviewing the paperwork for his new position as Supreme Archangel.

They were so close.

[momsspaghetti39]

the starmaker

[modrntravlr]

headcanon that when rose looked into the heart of the TARDIS and absorbed the time vortex, the TARDIS absorbed a bit of her too and the doctor could still feel her presence within the TARDIS even long after she was gone

[iatemyapple]

if season 3 is not out when i wake up in the morning, i'm gonna make it everyone's problem. goodnight🫡

[thethingswedotomorrow]

also I am not dead, I've been writing but it got so sad and existential that I had to take breaks in between, but eventually it will get posted!!

this time it's aziraphale that is suffering however so I'm sorry about that in advance

[bylrndgm]

GOOD OMENS (2019 - ) 2.02 The Clue

[thethingswedotomorrow]

one of my favorite parts of s2

[empireofthesin]

BAFTAs: Here is your contract.

David: CTRL + F + Michael Sheen + Enter

Result: 824728174849384

David: Sounds good :)

[thethingswedotomorrow]

On the topic of analyzing the Good Omens Season 2 intro frame by frame, when they walk through the graveyard, some of the gravestones are INTERESTING and callbacks to season 1

First is 'Everyday'

Then we've got 'Jane Austen'

Next is one that I only realized had text on it accidentally. @sugarplumanderson pointed out it's most likely 'Left Early to Avoid the Rush', a season 1 callback and quote from Death!

The last set is the most INTERESTING. There's 2 gravestones in frame, one clear to read and one very difficult and covered with wax. The clear gravestone says "Here Lies the Former Shell of Beelzebub" (reference to Beelzebub's change in actors?) and the one in the front clearly reads "Adam" and the text underneath is “I do not understand, surely your very existence requires the ending of the world. It is written.” A quote from Death!

It's anyone's guess what they mean or are just callbacks, but thought they were interesting!

[thethingswedotomorrow]

I've been bored lately and realized now that season 3 is actually confirmed, I might as well rewatch Good Omens, and noticed in the season 2 credits, as Aziraphale and Crowley walk through the different scenes, all the 'people' following them are actually just Michael and David's faces with different haircuts and clothing attached

And maybe I'm like 6 months behind and others have realized this but I CANNOT get over how great that is

My personal favorite is this one.

[thethingswedotomorrow]

Rewatching Series 1 Doctor Who for the first time in 10 years, and it's amazing how I forgot all these years just how awful Mickey was in the beginning, 100% understandable Rose I'd leave his ass in that alley too

[thethingswedotomorrow]

Every time I see any type of Good Omens fan content, I am shocked at just how varied, creative, and TALENTED the community is.

But also they're determined to make Crowley suffer as much as possible, in every variation and it's slightly hilarious to me

Not only does this poor demon suffer tremendously in canon, but every single fic I see is one or more of

Crowley is frozen

Crowley is burnt

Crowley drowns

Crowley is tortured physically

Crowley is tortured EMOTIONALLY

Crowley is discorporated

Crowley is VIOLENTLY discorporated

Crowley loses his memories

Crowley is trapped in a time loop and REMEMBERS YEARS WORTH OF THE SAME DAYS

Crowley is traumatized

Crowley is Traumatized 2.0 Electric Boogaloo

Crowley is alone and abandoned

Crowley is finally happy with Aziraphale, and THEN abandoned

Crowley is divorced

Crowley is kidnapped

Crowley is stuck as a snake

Crowley is kidnapped AS A SNAKE BY HUMANS

If there's a piece of Good Omens content, chances are something WILD happens to Crowley, including AU's

And Aziraphale has a healthy dose of anxiety, religious trauma, and neurodivergence sprinkled in there in between all of that. I just really appreciate the creativity of this fandom.

[snogfairy]

s3 announcement: "and they aren't talking"

the go fandom, already knowing full well they aren't talking:

[thethingswedotomorrow]

After 200 years of being a 'shopowner' in SoHo, Whickber Street has gotten relatively used to Aziraphale's (and subsequently Crowley's) presence. But after 200 years, people have definitely noticed that A.Z Fell and Co. is in no way a typical bookshop.

The shop's opening hours alone are enough to give away that something isn't quite right.

The hours of operation sign reads like a puzzle you'd expect at the entrance of a haunted tomb

(Which was EXACTLY what Crowley was going for. Aziraphale approached him in 1835 about making a sign to avoid customers, and he still prides himself to this day about it)

"No customers today, Angel? I wonder what wicked creature could've caused that. Must be a pretty brilliant demon, that one."

Crowley tries to use that sign as leverage in arguments at least twice a decade and it's never once worked, but he figures one of these years the Angel will finally gives in to his 'wiles', and Crowley is nothing if not persistent

Aziraphale has a reputation among the rare book enthusiast community as the rudest gentleman they've ever encountered, but he always sends baked goods afterwards when he feels guilty about it

Once, a particularly rude collector found that the package they received seemed to be expired by a very, very long time. And all the cookies broken and crumbled.

It was the cruelest thing Aziraphale could think of, ruined treats. Crowley was very proud of him for that.

"Absolutely diabolical, Angel. Ever consider a career change? You'd be a Hell of a Demon with skills like that."

If a customer miraculously finds the shop open, they immediately realize that they probably shouldn't have walked in

Aziraphale is always perfectly polite to customers, of course. But 'polite' and 'welcoming' are very different words, and Aziraphale is a Principality, not a saint. He's never had much patience as far as customers were concerned.

Anyone who finds themselves wandering towards the first edition shelf towards the back suddenly seem to remember that they've missed a very important appointment.

A mysterious phone call from a long-lost family member goes a long ways towards turning people around and back onto the street, as well.

Once or twice, a few persistent potential-customers have found their phone buzzing, announcing they've suddenly won a rather large amount of money from a contest they don't remember entering.

On the rare days Aziraphale has to go out of town for an auction or errands, Crowley will occasionally volunteer himself to watch over the shop.

When Crowley is alone in the shop with customers, all bets are off.

From the street, you'd think somebody was throwing a rave in the shop.

Lights flickering off and on in no particular order, and occasionally turn colors. Apparently, it's very difficult to browse books with flashing blue and orange lights all around you, and when you complain to the man sprawled on the seat behind the counter about it, all you get is a smirk and a "Sorry 'bout that, keep meaning to fix them up. Whatta shame, huh?"

Suddenly the lights seem to fix themselves, just in time for the soft classical music coming from the back of the shop to turn into a techno rave edit of 'Never Gonna Give You Up'. All at a volume that would be painful at a outdoor concert, let alone a small shop.

Sometimes, Crowley doesn't even sit behind the counter. Customers might just walk in to find a very large, very judgemental looking snake laying across the desk, hissing at anything that moves.

He had to stop pulling that particular trick after a concerned group of mothers called animal control on him, and he almost got kidnapped by idiot humans who decided to try and pick up a 15 foot snake with little grabby claws.

Crowley had far too much pride to tell Aziraphale about that day, and sulked on the couch in the back for the rest of the week.

(Aziraphale found out, of course. Nina watched the whole thing from across the street, and laughed so much she dropped a pot of coffee all over her counter. The Angel had the good graces to never bring it up, but quietly laughs everytime Crowley glares at an animal control van that passes by the street.)

The only time Aziraphale welcomes humans into his shop is when they come in, not for books, but for refuge.

The people of SoHo always know that A.Z Fell and Co. is open to everyone that needs a safe place, for any reason.

They'll find a kind looking man ushering them inside, offering them a seat and a cup of tea, listening to their problems and offering advice, helping when he can. He has the air of someone much, much older than he looks, and much wiser than you'd think.

Those humans, the ones who come in seeking help, always leave feeling miraculously better. And sometimes find themselves blessed, just a bit.

[thethingswedotomorrow]

GOOD OMENS GOT RENEWED FOR SEASON 3 AND DROPPED THE INEFFABLE PLAYLIST

What a day

[thethingswedotomorrow]

Guys, it's been months since season 2, so I feel enough time has passed for me to bring this up.

We know Aziraphale doesn't miracle clothing, he prefers to buy them himself and generally wears the same thing for decades.

Crowley miracles his clothing on, and they just stop existing when he stops thinking about them.

Crowley was NOT on board with the Jane Austen Ball plan, and didn't even know about it until he walked in.

SO WHERE DID JIM GET THE DRAMATIC ASS SUIT AND COAT??

Surely Aziraphale didn't own that?? And Crowley didn't miracle it?? So where the hell did Jim get the Elton John look-alike outfits???

[thethingswedotomorrow]

Aziraphale and Crowley are both idiots, with a severe lack of common sense on any given day.

But these idiots were both tasked with watching and guiding the new humans God had created, for better or for worse. What they didn't realize was just how unprepared they both were for this task.

Before being sent out to Eden, they were BOTH given a crash course on the newest creatures, (humans??) roaming around the garden. Just the essentials, don't poke here, this does that, avoid this bit, this part leaks, etc.

Aziraphale's lesson was much more formal, only highlighting the parts of the humans that were deemed 'essential' by the Archangels

Having to sit through Gabriel explaining the purpose of a tongue for hours was enough to make anyone zone out, let alone a principality who had just been told that the place he was being sent to would be full of creatures that were filled with an odd combination of liquid at all times. Good Lord, how was he meant to protect these humans when they could explode at any time?

Aziraphale had checked out mentally by the time they started covering exactly what the eyebrows were for

Hell decided to take a more hands-on approach.

By hands-on, they meant having Dagon draw what they assumed a human might vaguely look like, and then explaining the best ways to torture the squiggly bits

Crowley spent most of the class trying to decide whether the drawing looked more like a horse or a soggy blanket crumpled into a pile

(Crowley had only recently learned about the 'horse' idea, and he was decidedly not impressed by them.)

(He could get behind this blanket idea, however. He'd have to check that one out in a few years.)

So once they'd both reached the Garden, and checked the place out for themselves, they both came to the same conclusion.

They had some SERIOUS questions about what was going on here

Naturally (and reluctantly for one of them), they gravitated towards each other. They both knew asking either of their sides would imply that they didn't pay attention to the classes. And neither of them wanted to have a repeat lesson, thank you.

"Ah, yes, hello, Crawley was it?"

"Obviously, still me. Be odd for me to be someone else, wouldn't it?"

"Yes, well. I was wondering..if you had..perhaps....noticed anything about these humans?"

"Noticed what? They're awfully boring. Told me 'get up there and make some trouble', but all they do is sleep and eat things and walk around. Made 'em trip a few times, but it got old by the 5th time around honestly."

"Well I don't think they're meant to do much more. If they were, then they would have. As is God's plan. Oh there is no need for dramatics Crawley."

It was at that point Crawley sighed VERY aggressively, flopped down onto a rather soft looking patch of grass, and looked up at Aziraphale.

"Was there a point here, Angel, or have you just come to preach?"

"I do wonder, however, if God was perhaps made aware of the issues in the hardware, as it were."

"What are you on about?"

"Yesterday, I saw Eve walking around, admiring all the plants and such. They really are truly beautiful, you know. Have you seen them yet?"

"Nah, haven't gotten over there yet. Mostly been hanging around on the rocks, very warm there. Why? What'd she do?"

"Well, she walked up to the flowers, and..then she just..sort of...." Aziraphale trails off, very hesitant about how to describe the situation.

"Sort of what?" Now Crowley is curious. Always been his downfall, that sort of thing.

"She just... she stuck her face into them."

"She WHAT?"

"Exactly! Stuck her face into them, no warning or anything. That poor, poor woman could have been killed. Who knows what those flowers will do to her tongue."

"HER WHAT?"

It was at this point that they both realized that they may not have gotten the same education on the humans and their anatomy.

"So, they aren't actually going to explode? Oh thank God."

"Well, I mean they could, I suppose. If you poked them enough, or shook them up really hard. Y'think we should try that?"

"Crawley, no."

Between both of them, they gathered enough information about the humans to have a general idea of what they should and shouldn't do to help them survive

(Crowley might enjoy watching them trip, but he's a Demon, not a monster. There'd be no point going and killing them right after they launch the whole program.)

It turned out that what they had gathered between Heaven and Hell was quite literally the bare minimum of human physiology.

They stuck together from then on, determined to find out everything they could about the humans.

The first time Eve sneezed after smelling the flowers, Aziraphale jumped up so quickly that he broke the rock he was using as a seat clean in half

Crawley and Aziraphale stood perfectly still on the wall, waiting for something else to happen.

All Eve did was sniff a bit and walk away.

Aziraphale turned to Crowley, eyes wide and full of terror. They both stared at each other for a few minutes before they both silently sat down, contemplating what they had assumed was a very near-miss explosion.

The next day, when Adam stepped into the pool of water at the edge of the Garden, the angel and demon watched with the utmost attention.

"D'ya think they can breathe in there?"

"In the water?"

"Yeah, those slimy things at the bottom seem to be doin' just fine without coming up top. Maybe the humans can do that too."

"Crawley, those are fish. The humans need the air to live. I think."

"Fiiiiiish? Fsh. Fiisssshhh. Nah, don't like that. Slimy things works better, who names these things? Was it you?"

"I'm afraid that was not my department, unfortunately. I like to think I would have gone with a different choice than 'fish', if I had any say in the names."

"Mm. He's been down there for a bit, yeah?"

"Who? Oh, him. Has he? Oh. Oh Lord, he has. Adam? Adam?"

One small miracle later, the humans and the non-humans had both learned that they did need the air to live.

The day Eve and Adam laughed together was a good day.

'What're they even laughin' at?" Crowley wiggles/walks* his way over to where Aziraphale is sat on the edge of the wall, watching the humans.

*He's still figuring out the whole leg thing, far too complicated if you ask him

"If I had to guess, I'd say they're laughing at the state of Adam."

"How'd he even get like that? Last I saw, he was running around near that pond, how's that happen? They were on your watch, Angel."

"Ah, while you went to look at the plants, he fell. Apparently when dirt and water mix, it becomes very sticky. Mud, I believe it's called."

"Blegh. Way to go Angel, I left for five minutes and you let him get all mud-ed. Looks awful, don't see why they're laughin'. They've always got somethin' stuck to em."

Despite his words, Crowley couldn't help but smile at the humans. Something so ridiculous and they stood there laughing at it, having all the time in the world to explore and find out new things.

Aziraphale noticed this, and smiled as well. Mostly because of the humans and how fond he was already of them

But also, at Crowley and a new type fondness for him, as well.

(Though it would take many, many years for him to admit that)

Crowley and Aziraphale sat and laughed, watching these new humans bumble around and laugh, being happy to just exist and discover everything there was to discover. If Crowley snuck glances at the angel while he was laughing, he'd never admit it.

Maybe tomorrow, Crowley thought, he'd see what the deal was with that big apple tree.

[willowmaidsworld]

Imagine the conversation they had, when they found out that they have been told completely different things! (I wanted an excuse to write and draw something silly, so there you have it.)

While they were laughing, Crowley mentioned: "Dagon would never thought they would laugh at that."

"What do you mean? What that?"

"Dagon would never think that they'd laugh, in the first place. While they were -errrm- explaining humans... you know what I mean! You got the same talk!" exclaimed Crowley.

Aziraphale nodded. "Mhm, the tongue. The anterior and posterion part, the hyoid bone, the oropharynx, man's tongue weighs roughly 99 g, woman's 79 g and so on..."

"Well," said Crowley slowly, "I suppose Dagon focused more on the chirurgical side of things... I was instructed on how to uhmmm... remove it. As slowly and as -uh- uncomfortably as possible..."

"What?! What did they tell you about eyes?"

"That they are good for poking and spiking," mumbled Crowley.

"No! Of course they aren't! You see, the light hits the eye and the dilating pupil let's the light in," explained Aziraphale. "Then it goes to the retina but the image is reversed and and small and then it travels to the brain..."

"Nah, you're overcomplicating it. That can't be right."

"Crowley, show me how Dagon explained humans to you," Aziraphale required.

Crowley hesitated. "But I wanna see Gabriel's version too!"

"Alright then."

After some time, you could see two charcoal drawings on the wall next to the East gate of Eden. ("See, I told you. That flamming sword of yours is pretty handy," said Crowley as Aziraphale was cutting branches of the nearby tree and making them into the first prototypes of pencils.)

"Is that even human?" doubted Aziraphale Crowley's drawing. "Looks, ehm, bit more horse-ish to me..."

"Oh, come on! Do you know how hard it was to draw just like Dagon did it?" rumbled Crowley. "And it's certainly more blanket-y, I'd say."

They both admired the drawings for a while. Well, Aziraphale admired his shading and Crowley was more than pleased with how close he was to Dagon's interpretation.

"Yours looks too superficial anyway," scoffed Crowley. "I've never seen Adam looking like that. And I don't speak about Eve, she's completely different!"

"Well, Gabriel said that this is the ideal they strived for... I suppose some, ehm, creative liberties were taken somewhere in the process."

"What did they tell you?" asked Crowley. "What is the best way to teach them how to pray?"

"Among other things..."

After a good deal of explaining and finding out that neither Heaven nor Hell has any actual idea how humans work, Aziraphale thought how nice it was to spent some time with this particular demon. He still was a demon, a servant of the evil and everything, but Aziraphale chose to ignore that.

"Did you say they "taste stuff" with the tongues?" asked Crowley. "Wonder how that apple tastes..."

"You... you surely can't mean that apple." Aziraphale all of sudden looked serious and worried. "Just don't get into any trouble," he sighed. "Please, do you promise?"

"You look quite desperate," laughed Crowley. "I'm a demon. I do the bad things. I can't get into trouble, remember?"

That evening in Eden, Adam and Eve found those drawings without Aziraphale or Crowley knowing. They liked them. And so, without actually trying, Crowley and Aziraphale invented art and graffiti. (You can guess which drwaing inspired which pretty easily.)