Im a gay fucking bitch and everyone should know it

I went through my emo phase once and i’m fully prepared to do it again but as an adult this time so better.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[kontextmaschine]

if I was planning to refuse to pay rent for a while in an environment where public services will be too limited and burdened to deal with picayune stuff, I’d make sure I knew where the water and gas shutoff valves were and how to reopen them if closed

[thelawfulchaotic]

I would also note that in Virginia, if your water and gas are shut off and all you do is just turn them on, then it’s actually really hard to charge you with a crime, because Virginia’s “tampering with utility meter” (Va. Code 18.2-163) applies only when you actually disrupt your meter’s ability to measure your utilities and the “trespass/interference with utilities” charge (Va. Code 18.2-162) requires that there be actual property damage. 

I am a lawyer, and this is a purely hypothetical scenario that no one should do in real life, totally.

[nick-avallone]

Quarantine is going well

[ophida-in-herba]

Jesus fuck

[officialinternet]

I’m in tears 

[nick-avallone]

If u like tiktok I’m @nickagain! I have more vids I’ll be posting this week 🤓

[kougie]

One of my favorite tumblr ads so far

[icicledream-archive]

@birdhusband

[bundibird]

Our Aloe Vera plant got pruned, so guess what that means!!!!!

IT'S ALOE VERA JUICE TIME

[bundibird]

Step one: get the spikes off.

This is a pile of ooh, ahh:

And this is a pile of caution:

[bundibird]

Uhhhhhhhhhh ok so never mind, I am not making aleo vera juice after all.

Because, uh. This is the first time I've made it??? So I was like "oh I'll just Google it and see if I have to cut the dark green bit off or if I can just chuck the whole thing through the machine," and. Thank goodness I checked. Cause a) yeah you do have to cut the dark green bit off, cause it's HECKING TOXIC, but uh. More importantly??

Turns out there's two primary sub species of aloe. One is greenish-grey and has no spots and is good for digestive health.

And the other has pale spots on it and is fantastic for treating sunburn and is, uh. Very toxic and shouldn't be eaten.

That.... uh. That was a close call.

[bundibird]

Here's the two types, for anyone interested. The kind I have is the one on the left. Aka, the non-edible one.

[bundibird]

Me, had I drunk my homemade toxic cactus-juice:

[chemicalmagecraft]

Delectable tea, or deadly poison...

[bundibird]

@chemicalmagecraft I need you to know that I nearly broke a rib laughing at your addition. Also, your input deserved a fully fledged meme

[chromolume]

so imagine you’re making ratatouille and you don’t like tomatoes. you don’t like the taste, the texture, the putting them in the water and the peeling them - eugh! so you say to yourself “lookit, this whole dish is nothing but vegetables, so what does it matter if i leave the tomatoes out?” a seemingly innocuous decision on the surface, but 2 hours or whatever later when you’re done cooking, you open the oven to find a complete mess! just a pot full of baked vegetables, none of them congealed or somehow unified. what happened to your beloved ratatouille? so you take to google and find that actually the tomatoes are an essential ingredient of ratatouille, as they form a “sauce” of a certain kind that makes the whole thing work. and so a seemingly innocent decision has destroyed the very foundation of the established order with disturbing ramifications towards the whole. in this essay i will examine how martin luther’s 95 theses lead to protestants being more boring than catholics

[the-last-punbender]

This is the opposite of a recipe blog

[saywhat-politics]

[memewhore]

[gentlekirk]

uterus culture is forgetting all the weird symptoms that come along with your period every month and wondering why you’re feeling some kind of way until you Realize

[did-you-know]

Scottish sculptor Rob Mulholland creates creepy mirrored sculptures out of acrylic glass that makes them blend into their surroundings until your perspective shifts and they suddenly catch your eye. Source Source 2

[manicpixiedreamalien]

imagine getting lost in the woods and coming across these

on a scale of 1-10 how ready for death would you be

[jabletown]

i didn’t know chaotic evil looked like someone’s dad from north dakota

[waywardmasquerade]

Some one needs to stat these mirror beings ASAP

[thraaaaaaaanduuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiil]

Methinks Scottish sculptor Rob Mulholland is a fae who is actively fucking with us all.

[amazingspidermans]

everyone do me a favor and rb with where you live and if you’re getting school/work off bc of coronavirus

[ruinedchildhood]

[oomshi]

[normal-horoscopes]

mushrooms keep growing in the corner of my bathroom. idk if this is purely just natural or if theres brownies or faeries or something living here. I dont think faeries because my mom keeps removing them but they grow back full size over the course of 24 hours would you know how to tell? I theres three, no more grow and if you leave it they dont grow any bigger, theyre just chillin there and they grow back straight away if we get rid of them so idk? I offer you willow bark and red ginseng

CLEAN YOUR FUCKING BATHROOM

[hyumjim]

This person has fungus in their walls and they probably have to go beyond spring cleaning and get the drywall removed and everything. Tear the whole bathroom up. In light of that it’s so fucking funny that they’re like “do you think it is faeries” ohhhh dear

[that-fabulousbastard]

#WHITE PEOPLE BUY SOME CRYSTALS AND SUDDENLY THEIR HYGIENE ISSUES ARE FAERIES

[catchymemes]

[frankenmouse]

I mean, we literally have research that says this. With TV it works because shows are DESIGNED to have segues/scenes where advertising can go, so we perceive it as less disruptive. You can’t just drop advertising in any old where. Shockingly, people fucking HATE that.

[onlytwitterpics]

[whats-his-name-92]

LEAVE ME ALONE

[princesszeldazbyebye-deactivate]

Real Talk kids in future generations NEED to keep watching Avatar the Last Airbender and we should preserve it for them. And I’m not saying that like “hur hur har har cartoons were better when I was young” because that’s objectively not true, I mean it like “the first time you see uncle iroh sing leaves from the vine and cry is an experience that metaphysically changes you”