The trees are listening

Your local bisexual cryptid

[all-hail-moon-dogs]

it’s interesting how the podcast universe decided the only gays who are allowed to get their shit together instantly are Cecil and Carlos, everyone else must have multiple trust issues and hero complexes

[scroonching-lima-bean]

So... Where does all of our hair go? Like we all love quite a lot of hair daily if we have any and so do animals....

If we made a pile of all the hair lost in a day worldwide it would be massive.... But where does it all go???

Is this what's at the bottom of the ocean?

[daughter-of-prospero]

A handy guide to recognizing characters from The Magnus Archives

Ever wonder how to spot who’s who in fanart when there aren’t many physical descriptors given in cannon? Well no worries, here’s a handy-dandy guide to spot your fave archival staff members (and friends!) at a glance, across the multitudes of gorgeous art out there:

Jonathan Sims: If Cecil from Night Vale didn’t sleep for a month and then got run over by a bus. Twice. Thinner than tracing paper. Feral, but fragile. Associated item: Tape recorder. Or twenty.

Martin Blackwood: Sweaters Jumpers and circles! Is he wearing a sweater jumper? Is he drawn entirely using round shapes and soft edges? Do you want to hug him on sight? It’s Martin. The definition of “shaped like a friend”.  Associated item: Mug of tea. (It’s for John. Even when it’s not, it is.)

Tim Stoker: Hot. He has finger guns and he’s not afraid to use them. Associated item: An axe, or the aforementioned guns.

Melanie King: Blindfolded. Usually short, usually angry (mood). May be wearing her own merch.  Associated item: There’s a knife on her somewhere. In hand, as a tattoo, at her hip - sometimes all three.

Georgie Barker: She’s got style. The rest of these motherfuckers wear clothes to function but Georgie’s put to-fucking-gether. I don’t know who decided it, but they’re right. May be wearing her own merch. Associated item: She’s usually got really dope earrings.  

Basira Hussein: Stoic as a sphinx and probably twice as knowledgeable. Often in a police uniform, generally in a hijab. Merely glancing at her image will convey her ruthless competence.  Associated item: A book

Alice ‘Daisy’ Tonner: Lean, mean, hunting machine. Many scars. Often in a police uniform. She will beat you up. Alternately: some sort of terrifying wolf monster Basira is comforting. Associated item: Raw butch energy. 

“Elias Bouchard”: Smug DILF.  Associated item: Length of pipe. Or sex toys (you know who you are)

Peter Lukas: Classic sea captain aesthetic. Healthy beard, cheap whistle around the neck. Seen most often in monochrome. Associated item: Elias’ ass (you know who you are).

Jane Prentiss: O, worm? Associated item: See above.

Nikola Orsinov: Uncanny valley…but make it sexy.  Associated item: Circus regalia

Michael: Lots o’ colours. Flowing blond hair from a L’Oreal commercial plus Freddy Kruger hands.  Associated item: Doors

Helen: Lots o’ colours. Powerful 80′s business woman vibes plus Freddy Kruger hands. Associated item: Also doors.

Gerard Keay: The gothest goth to ever goth. Lives at Goth street in Goth city, and takes the goth train every morning to work at Goth Ltd. And honestly? Good for him. He deserves to be able to pursue his interests. Associated item: A Leitner

Gertrude Robinson: The world’s most intimidating grandmother. Associated item: Your corpse, underfoot. She dealt with you before you even realized what was happening. While you were reading this very post, in fact. Now you’re going in the skin book. 

[gaymixtakes]

Don’t fucking tempt me to runaway and become a wild mushroom because I will

[doruwuwei]

I'm so glad space is gay and there's no gender in Mars.

[thetreesarelisteninggg]

Wait, you actually like me?

Wait till I unveil my TRAUMA

[moss-eyes]

i shoot my shot by telling you i want to commit a federal crime with you

[thetreesarelisteninggg]

It's on days like these where my only wish is to transform myself and everyone around me into worms

[rosencrantzsguildenstern]

themes of night vale seasons be like:

capitalism is a fundamentally flawed system and cruelty towards workers is escalating

war is terrible and no one should ever enlist in the army

denying issues is not sustainable and the best road forward is acknowledging and dealing with them

but also sometimes it’s like ‘local frat boy summoned satan whom is a puppy and who got his ass kicked by cecil’s cat and no there is no social commentary or thematic relevance here’

[thetreesarelisteninggg]

My life is currently a constant struggle between isolating myself in a little burrow surrounded by rich woodlands only coming out to collect mushrooms and pay visit to the fellow gnomes who live nearby, or becoming one with the air, flying round on cold lifeless nights tormenting innocent citizens and leaving all worries behind.

[planetquest]

tired of being a person. would much rather be an unidentifiable and nebulous entity that lives in the woods and may or may not be an omen of misfortune to come

[thetreesarelisteninggg]

my parents have the audacity to find my hoard of bones creepy when they are the ones who keep a graven image of my deceased grandmother by their bed

[thetreesarelisteninggg]

Oh to run into the forest wearing nothing but a thin cotton dress, the cold wind slicing into face as you and your lover slowly transform into moths, surpassing the need for mortal pleasures and flying into the moonlight never to been seen again

[hopefullyababe]

actually love is stored in the almost middle aged gay couple from a podcast with anti-capitalist themes who have sappy romantic moments every once in awhile in between the plot

[thetreesarelisteninggg]

Wait, you're telling me it's not normal to stay up all night worshiping the moon and dissecting owl pellets?

[thenewsthaturdead]

you being gay started when the zookeeper asked if you wanted to hold a toad and you didn't say ew like all the other children

[denseboy]

let's give hozier a bow & arrow and see what he's capable of