✩ *: ･ﾟ - BO BURNHAM SENTENCE STARTERS.
quotes from just some of my favorite songs by bo burnham. feel free to change the pronouns / names / punctuation whatever !
“ my ex girlfriend had a really weird fetish. she liked to dress up as herself & act like a fucking bitch all the time. ”
“ if you can’t beat them , join ‘em. ”
“ i make all the single ladies ‘ oh (name) ! ’ ”
“ i swear i’m straight. ”
“ just do a chinese accent. ”
“ fuck my life, I don’t fuck my wife so fuck my wife & fuck my life. ”
“ my daughter’s a whore like another girl who used to be her mother. ”
“ my son is gay, but not sitcom gay. ”
“ & i masturbate because i’m the only one whose standards are low enough to fuck me! ”
“ we had a helluva ride.”
“ well, i motherfucking lied. ”
“ it’s not jesus. it’s cheez - its, right ? ”
“ you think i’m joking ? ”
“ tonight at ten the world is ending again. ”
“ only on the channel 5. ”
“ no girls wanna fuck me, trust me. ”
“ i don’t give a fuck, don’t adjust me. ”
“ one, two, three, whore - i mean four - shit, three, four, five, bitch - i mean six - shit. ”
“ well, congratu-fucking-lations. ”
“ fuck the rules, fuck the game, fuck you tools, fuck you’re lame. ”
“ yeah, fuck me for my hard works, fuck another r - word, fuck me for my hard work that got me into harvard. ”
“ you’ve got sticks and stones to turn to but I’ve got words to hurt you, so save your bullets ‘cause you’re fucked. ”
“ you think you’re clever ? you’re fucked ! ”
“ i must be psychotic, I must be demented to think that I’m worthy of all this attention. ”
“ ‘cause i wanted my name in lights when i could have fed a family of four for forty fucking fortnights. ”
“ maybe i’ll grow out of it. ”
“ i’m a gay sea - otter. ”
“ i hate catchy choruses. ”
“ take off your bra & burn it. ”
“ oh my god, honestly are you fucking five ? ”
“ i think i’ve made the right decision. ”
“ it’s over. we’re unhappy. ”
“ & once the dust has settled i hope we can still be friends. ”
“ eat a fucking dick, like this ! ”
“ put on your dick - eating bib ! get ready to gobble a dick up ! ”
“ i didn’t think you’d cry for me… i didn’t know you cared. ”
“ sorry you’re not what i need hun, lick this clit then leave son ! ”
“ i deserve better than you ! ”
“ you got a job to do, you better do it right. ”
“ i like oreoes & pussy ! yeah, in that order ! ”
“ i’m looking for somebody to love… or put my penis in – ”
“ holy fuck i think she might be the one ! ”
“ i just want her to — how do I say this — sit on my face ! sit ! sit on my face ! ”
“ you think you’re the right one every time ! ”
“ according to my calculations, uh, you’re a pussy. ”
“ i saw a homeless man named rich. isn’t that just terrible ? ”
“ he didn’t here me say ‘ look out for the train ! ’ …because i didn’t say anything. ”
“ i went to a store looking for something to buy but they only sold paintings of the same sad guy … no, wait — this store sells mirrors – ”
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