Ferrum's great value meme collection!

I'm over 25. he/they, woman liker, Australian, white. I do most blogging on mobile unfortunately. If I disappear, find me at bluesky (same username)

[monadocyclone]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Fun fact about me is that I'm stupid.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

When I was a child (maybe six years old?) I asked my parents what thoughts were, and they told me "they're the pictures in your head". I agreed like this explained things, but unknown to all of us, I have aphantasia, and since I never had pictures in my head I secretly concluded that I was incapable of thought. The way people talked about thinking made it sound really important, so I went for literal years carefully guarding this secret and when people told me to think about what I was doing etc. I'd stay quiet and pretend I was capable of thinking. I didn't want anyone to find out I couldn't think.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

When I was about eight, my mother's horse ate sand and got colic and she was up all night with him. The next day, I was told that he went to live on a nice farm.

I was in my thirties before I thought back to the situation and realised that Zamada had died.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I was literally too stupid to punish as a child. I have a lot of very clear memories of being sent to sit in a corner or told to stay in a class at recess and my opinion of the situation was 'I guess this is my role in whatever the current school activity is'. It wasn't until I was in high school that I realised that I'd spent so much time in reception and year 1 in time out or detention. Did not even register that that was happening at the time.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I used to have a very strong fear of snakes and when I was a little kid I was, for some reason, under the impression that the snakes had some kind of secret conspiracy where they wanted to kill me. We had frequent power outages (I'm unsure if it was the area's infrastructure or if my parents just couldn't keep up with the electricity bills) and every time the power went out at night I'd jump up on a chair or table or something and refuse to come down until I had light, because I believed that snakes had bitten through the power cables and were swarming across the floor in the dark ready to bite me while I couldn't see them.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I thought that Jesus was just a guy who obtained magical powers by being born on Christmas Day and decided to use his powers to help people. Like a superhero. I didn't know anything about superheroes at the time so when I later learned about Superman and Batman and stuff I was like "oh, like Jesus Christ!"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

My great grandmother was also born on Christmas day and I could never understand why she either didn't have magic powers, or did but kept lying to me about it.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#baby derin sounds like such a fun kid oh my god

I hope you like math because Baby Derin would spend all of their time asking hypothetical questions about it and intuiting the relationship between multiplication and division and power relationships, which was frustrating for everyone involved because we hadn't learned the words for any of those things in school yet so I would take forever explaining something like 4^4 as a series of additions. Addition and subtraction were the only things we'd learned how to do, so describing a multiplication table (which I was inventing on the fly) to my mother, who was just trying to get the laundry done, was a long, long ordeal of serial addition and she would have no idea what I was trying to say.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

For the people asking in the notes. Yes I have autism.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#Hey you also got to clarify that owning a horse is a normal thing here and not signs you’re decedant from a long line of ceos or something#bc apparently in the usa and europe that’s what they think of you have a horse

Zamada lived in our backyard in our falling-apart house where we struggled to pay rent and utilities. He was useful because we couldn't always pay to keep the family car working so Mum could ride him to her job at the racecourse, where (if my memory serves) her boss let her exercise him for free off the clock. Her job was exercising the race horses.

I think. I was very young and my memory isn't great; I might be conflating a few different things. But we did have a sad failed racehorse that Mum got for super cheap because the other option was glue factory, and we were poor as shit. After Zamada died we got a goat to keep the grass down (I don't think we had a lawn mower), but we had to give him away when we couldn't afford to rent a house any more because you can't keep a goat in a car.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Fun fact about me is that I'm stupid.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

When I was a child (maybe six years old?) I asked my parents what thoughts were, and they told me "they're the pictures in your head". I agreed like this explained things, but unknown to all of us, I have aphantasia, and since I never had pictures in my head I secretly concluded that I was incapable of thought. The way people talked about thinking made it sound really important, so I went for literal years carefully guarding this secret and when people told me to think about what I was doing etc. I'd stay quiet and pretend I was capable of thinking. I didn't want anyone to find out I couldn't think.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

When I was about eight, my mother's horse ate sand and got colic and she was up all night with him. The next day, I was told that he went to live on a nice farm.

I was in my thirties before I thought back to the situation and realised that Zamada had died.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I was literally too stupid to punish as a child. I have a lot of very clear memories of being sent to sit in a corner or told to stay in a class at recess and my opinion of the situation was 'I guess this is my role in whatever the current school activity is'. It wasn't until I was in high school that I realised that I'd spent so much time in reception and year 1 in time out or detention. Did not even register that that was happening at the time.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I used to have a very strong fear of snakes and when I was a little kid I was, for some reason, under the impression that the snakes had some kind of secret conspiracy where they wanted to kill me. We had frequent power outages (I'm unsure if it was the area's infrastructure or if my parents just couldn't keep up with the electricity bills) and every time the power went out at night I'd jump up on a chair or table or something and refuse to come down until I had light, because I believed that snakes had bitten through the power cables and were swarming across the floor in the dark ready to bite me while I couldn't see them.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I thought that Jesus was just a guy who obtained magical powers by being born on Christmas Day and decided to use his powers to help people. Like a superhero. I didn't know anything about superheroes at the time so when I later learned about Superman and Batman and stuff I was like "oh, like Jesus Christ!"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

My great grandmother was also born on Christmas day and I could never understand why she either didn't have magic powers, or did but kept lying to me about it.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#baby derin sounds like such a fun kid oh my god

I hope you like math because Baby Derin would spend all of their time asking hypothetical questions about it and intuiting the relationship between multiplication and division and power relationships, which was frustrating for everyone involved because we hadn't learned the words for any of those things in school yet so I would take forever explaining something like 4^4 as a series of additions. Addition and subtraction were the only things we'd learned how to do, so describing a multiplication table (which I was inventing on the fly) to my mother, who was just trying to get the laundry done, was a long, long ordeal of serial addition and she would have no idea what I was trying to say.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

For the people asking in the notes. Yes I have autism.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#Hey you also got to clarify that owning a horse is a normal thing here and not signs you’re decedant from a long line of ceos or something#bc apparently in the usa and europe that’s what they think of you have a horse

Zamada lived in our backyard in our falling-apart house where we struggled to pay rent and utilities. He was useful because we couldn't always pay to keep the family car working so Mum could ride him to her job at the racecourse, where (if my memory serves) her boss let her exercise him for free off the clock. Her job was exercising the race horses.

I think. I was very young and my memory isn't great; I might be conflating a few different things. But we did have a sad failed racehorse that Mum got for super cheap because the other option was glue factory, and we were poor as shit. After Zamada died we got a goat to keep the grass down (I don't think we had a lawn mower), but we had to give him away when we couldn't afford to rent a house any more because you can't keep a goat in a car.

[todaysbird]

i think this is…actually the most extreme stupid dove nest I’ve seen.

video

[kaiapraxidike]

[tartrazeen]

Imagine you're coming home after a long day of hunting, and the first thing you hear is your seven shitty kids screeching at you for no reason, how pissed off would you be, I'd immediately fly away too

Imagine you're the oldest of seven and a fucking HOA member broke into your HOUSE and SHIT AN EGG and is BITING at your siblings, but your dad shows so you try to tell him the problem but you're very little and you don't speak English and he doesn't speak English either so you can't communicate that a fucking GOBLIN is in your HOUSE and the only reason he doesn't know is cause his ASS was on that bitch's HEAD and he must've assumed it was one of your brothers and sisters but it was actually that FREAK WOMAN who got in, and now your dad is flying away 'cause he has no idea what's going on

Imagine you're a parent and you've calmed down and gone to get McDonald's for your seven kids, and you come home expecting to get cheers because you know the D's are always a winner, but when you fly back in through the door the kids are all still screaming, and it's not even excited screams but you don't know what's wrong so you just look into the camera like you're Jim from the Office

Imagine you're one of the small middle children and probably the one that this HOA WITCH was BITING after she broke into YOUR HOUSE and SHIT an EGG and you tried to be a good host by cuddling with her to congratulate her on her egg but then she started BITING and taking over your ROOM and threw out all your GOOSEBUMPS books and your eldest sibling couldn't call dad so you all just had to wait, and then dad comes home but your STUPID FAMILY won't stop SCREECHING to explain what's going on so your dad leaves but then comes back and he's brought McDonald's which is like yay but there is an INTRUDER, and finally your dad looks around the house and notices BITCH BIRD KAREN IN YOUR BEAN BAG CHAIR, and you're like ok dad can handle this but then you learn he's more scared than you?????

Imagine you're a dad and you just got home with McDonald's and WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN MY HOUSE but luckily you have seven children and the mean one is willing to fight this bitch and you're just gonna chill in this corner until this problem is resolved even if your other kids are straight-up judging you

Imagine you're Kevin McCallister and you're doing Home Alone except you're not home alone 'cause your dad is home too but he's not helping, he's just holding a bag of McDonald's, so you have to be the head of this house at eight years old 'cause you're home alone emotionally but this FREAK ON AN EGG isn't leaving so you decide to screech at your dad and he's more scared of you than she is

Imagine you're a dad and your child has publicly shamed you in front of your other kids and this ASSHOLE KAREN and you decide you're not gonna take this shit anymore so you tell your kids that you paid for this McDonald's with your hard-earned bird money and they're gonna damn well eat this, so everybody stop looking at that side of the house and just eat your fucking french fries but then that fucking MONSTER starts BITING your only child willing to go into battle so you recognize this is a lost cause and throw the burgers on the counter and you remember you're an ADULT so you grab your car keys and fly the fuck away

Imagine you're all seven children and dad left you with the pigeon again

[house-of-mirrors]

Post about increasingly niche stuff that nobody follows you for and barely has a tumblr presence NOW

[house-of-mirrors]

That indie game no one else has played. That show from the 1980s that isn't big in the pop culture osmosis. Your deep dive into Tudor history. A liveblog of your experience learning C++. Your welding skills. Post all of it. This is your house

[terramythos]

apparently amazon's AI catastrophically fucked up and equated bytes with gigabytes so started billing aws customers literally billions of dollars for their data usage

[terramythos]

the percentage increase. i'm fucking wheezing

[ralfmaximus]

They're hoping somebody's AI accountant blindly pays their bill.

[starkwoes]

There's this video of nuns talking about their favourite things to do outside of nun activities and one of them says "ultimate frisbee" and the other one goes "and sister you are so good at that." I literally cannot get "and sister you are so good at that" out of my head. Out of all my stims this one is my fav lolol

[sourdough-seal]

“what are you doing this weekend” i am going to fantasy land. i am hiding under the covers in bed. i am making things up. i am contemplating events that didnt happen. i am talking to fake people. i am listening to my tunes. i am envisioning scenarios

[omtai]

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

[gramarye]

feminism has backslid so hard in recent years people don't even know what free the nipple means anymore

[rexalogy]

i reference this all the time i forget it’s not a meme online but a children’s drawing i saw on the sidewalk once

[verygoodcomments]

[pinklovely05]

I figured it out

[winduppup]

SANS: Steven After Not Surviving

SENSHI: Steven Eats Nutritious Savory Healthy Items

[lindacube]

do you guys fuck w my new kandi i made

[lindacube]

when did this get 61 notes

[ur-daily-inspiration]

Unique coat colors on cats 🖤

[gaydiation-poisoning]

It would kill half the 19-25 year olds online to realize "I can't help it I have trauma" is one of THE quintessential abuser excuses

[gaydiation-poisoning]

Like there is a difference between "My trauma creates impulsive urges and has changed my instinctive reactions to be irrational, I need to relearn shit." vs "I'm traumatized so I Can't Help It and you're not allowed to expect better of me"

[crtter]

”How come you’ve never seen the Amazon rainforest if you’re from Brazil?” big country

[crtter]

Here, this should make it clearer:

[crtter]

Wait, hold on, I can illustrate it in a funnier way

[crtter]

There’s around one and a half Frances between me and the Amazon rainforest.

[crtter]

I had no idea “coach” could also mean “bus” until like, a second ago and I stared at your reply in disbelief for a good minute because I thought you were telling me to do the trip in a horse-drawn carriage. I was like “Coach?! Like Cinderella?! Where would I even get- that HAS to be slower than a car!”

[stazher]

This is just slopslop. You only like it because you like it. *collapses into a black hole*