E-TURTLE-Y AWESOME @theturtlepackage - Tumblr Blog

Women who are beyond done with all of this shit.

(via)

so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise.

so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT

i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and.

HE GONE.

WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL.

*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance*

in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity.

palindrome-mystery

You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.

rrozeselavy-deactivated-deactiv

My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.

zackancodeine

my mom has a friend who has a failed program-service dog and he’s literally my favorite creature

He’s a really smart lab, he learned all the commands, but he just has an affinity for doing them whenever he wants

So this lady’s dog literally turns on-off lights, opens doors, opens the fridge, etc… at his own wishes.

Her house looks like its baby-proofed, with kid safe locks on everything and stuff, but really she just has a dog that’s learned all the mobility service dog commands but has a mind of his own.