I SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I AM UP TO NO GOOD

Hannah. 24. London. Classicist. Book-devourer. Book-collector. Television-enthusiast. Film-lover. Feminist. Listener. Cuddler. Tea-drinker. Nerd. Phlegmatic. INFJ. Mostly: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Orphan Black, Sense8, Game of Thrones, and Carmilla.

[newtgeiszler]

“if there are no cops at pride who will protect us” bears and butches next question

[nakedinasnowsuit]

Who protected us before the cops were forced to?

[thechronicmasochist-deactivated]

the drag queens and trans women did and damned straight we need to love them for it.

[chewbacca]

Mary Poppins (1964) dir. Robert Stevenson

[chamomilegeode-deactivated20221]

don’t know if this is as ~deep~ as i think it is, but by all of gaston’s own personal standards of identity/values, the beast is a better man than he is: brawnier, bigger, fightier, & of course every last inch of him’s covered in hair

[curlicuecal]

ohmigod, it’s true though!  the beast was basically gaston, and the ticked off fairy turned him into the purest manifestation of his toxic ideals to make him learn to be less of an ass

…..now I really wanna see the version of the movie where instead of dying, the curse passes from the beast to gaston!

except gaston doesn’t have a swag ass castle to sulk in, so he’s out running around the countryside, hiding in forests and stuff, alternately terrorizing the populace and being hunted. it’s a turnabout of his “peerless hunter” backstory– he is now both the monster and the prey.

untillllll he, idk, meets some humble woodcutter(?) that takes him in when he’s wounded or offers him shelter in a storm? and etc, etc, LIFE LESSONS, toxic masculinity slowly vanquished.  (ooh, or maybe it should be like–a flower seller or herbalist or some feminine-coded profession he would have devalued to really set up a foil.)

also the gaston-beast needs antlers.  terrifying claw-hooked sprawling antlers.  antlers for all of his decorating.

[quousque]

BRUH

[totallyfubar]

Pro tip for adulting: being late isn’t a death sentence for 95% of things. All you gotta do is call the moment you realize you’re gonna be late, apologize, and then give another small apology when you get there. The thing people really don’t like about lateness is that it seems like the other person doesn’t value their time, and since calling shows that you value their time, that leaves only the mild inconvenience of waiting a bit for them to deal with

[llcoolade]

this is 100% true. Calling ahead to let them know you’ll be late is 100000x better than just showing up late without any notice. Everyone has been late before so most of the time they’ll understand being late. Just don’t make a habit of it

[macaedh]

what the fuck ethan

[kvothbloodless]

I wish i had a context for this. But I really dont.

[pervocracy]

I was all ready to “um, actually” this, but, um, actually there’s about 3-4 grams of iron in a person, which x400 is 1.2-1.6kg, which is a smallish but not unreasonable sword. So. Math checks out.

[maxknightley]

How would you extract the iron, though? The more practical solution would be to kill a mere hundred men, then mix 1 part blood with 3 parts standard molten iron, imo. Cheaper and faster, while still retaining the edge that only evil magic can give you.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

Or, you could just make the sword of iron, and then use the blood to temper the blade.

[squeeful]

1.2 to 1.6 kilograms is a perfectly reasonable large sword.  Your average longsword was 1.1–1.8 kg and I don’t even remember if that’s including the weight of the hilt, guard, and pommel or just the blade.  Your more classic “knight sword” was a mere 1.1 kilograms on average; the blood of 400 men is more than enough.

This is using the comparatively crappy metallurgy of medieval Europe and their meh iron swords.  Move east to, say, contemporary Iran and make a scimitar using high carbon steel (~2%) for a .75 kilogram blade and you only need the blood of about 225 men.

[optimysticals]

So putting my thoughts in on this… because how could I not.

So you’ve exsanguinated your 400 guys to get the iron for your sword. Cool. But now you have 400 bodies lying around.

Why not put those to good use and cremate them. Use the carbon from those 400 bodies (you won’t need all of them) and now you can make a nice mid-high carbon steel sword.

Now you have a sword forged with the blood of your enemies AND strengthened with their bones.

[hedwig-dordt]

“high fantasy math” - the tag I should have expected to write some day.

[themarysue]

I’m so proud of everyone in this post

[super-nature]

I am thinking at the same time both “what the fuck” and “I’m impressed.”

[motherflunker]

BTVS meme: 6 episodes [6/6] - Prophecy Girl

[theguilteaparty]

So my mom told me a story...

Growing up, my mom and her siblings would make banana bread every week.

Literally every week since the first one of them learned how to make it, they started making banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked it with walnuts and they all knew their dad hated walnuts.

So they made a special loaf of banana bread just for him every week, just for him to eat. Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that was his banana bread, baked especially for him.

So anyways, they did this once a week from middle school up until every last one of them moved out of the house (and considering there was at least 10 years difference from the oldest to the youngest, this was quite some time). So that’s like… 16 years of weekly banana bread. And he always finished it. He, without fail, ate the whole loaf of bread by himself.

That’s approximately 835 loaves of banana bread.

Now

Skip ahead a few years…

and they’re all visiting and baking banana bread and they start making a dad’s bread and their mom comes in, “I don’t think he can handle eating one more slice of banana bread!”

“What are you talking about? He loves banana bread! He had it all the time!”

This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the news that my grandfather loathed banana bread with every fiber of his being. He just adored that his kids loved him enough to make him a special loaf of banana bread every week (and he didn’t have the heart to tell them that he couldn’t stand banana bread) and he was incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma told the kids his big secret.

My grandfather was a loving, patient, gentle man who absolutely hated banana bread but loved his kids so much more and I just wanted to share that with you guys. I think this story is just about the perfect example of the kind of person he was.

[theguilteaparty]

I just told my mom this had 1000 notes on it and let me tell you what

She had two responses.

1. Tell them about the mac n cheese

2. Tell me when it hits a million

mOM.

[asunsetdream]

WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE MAC N CHEESE

[somethingwickedthiswaylives-dea]

I need to know about the mac n cheese

[star-spangled-jackass]

guys we need 1mil

[akanicotortorella-deactivated20]

[marvelsmostwanted]

Do better, and maybe your movie won’t tank because of the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes.

[littlebundleofbooks]

This book is one hundred percent going to be on my top 10 books of 2017. I love this so much 💕😍🙌 I will definitely post a review at some point!

[pterick]

i love capitalizing words that do not need to be capitalized At All so that you read them in that Important Voice

[palpamemes]

ESPN: “The Body Issue” Amanda Bingson, Paige Selenski, Natalie Coughlin, Leticia Bufoni, Ali Krieger, Aly Raisman,

[b-rizzle4shizzle]

Can we just recognized that they all have different body types but are all extremely athletic.

[klusterfuckme-deactivated201611]

And none of these photos are hyper sexualized 👏🏻

[magicfolk]

You catch it, before the other team’s seeker. You catch this, the game’s over. You catch this, Potter, and we win.

[gayscifi]

good news, everyone!

bi women

[anjelia3]

“Buffy and Angel gives us the romance of great literature. Great loves that can never be, what’s more powerful than that?” - David Fury

[anjelia3]

See? Under control.

[piper-haliwel]

buffy the vampire slayer | halloween “We must have some kind of amnesia.” - “I don’t know what that is, but I’m certain I don’t have it. I bathe quite often!”