$LAYYYTER
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macklin celebrini has autism
Doug Jones
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Discoholic 🪩
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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hello vonnie

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@thevampireninja
Sorry for the spam
Cleaning out drafts and queue for the inevitable decline and/or implosion of tumblr as we know it lol
If you want to find me, either follow me on Instagram @vampyvsinsta or dm me and if I know you well enough I’ll give you my FB
✌🏻
I'd recommend you do it today tho, I'll prolly just uninstall the app tomorrow 🤷🏻♀️
Sorry for the spam
Cleaning out drafts and queue for the inevitable decline and/or implosion of tumblr as we know it lol
If you want to find me, either follow me on Instagram @vampyvsinsta or dm me and if I know you well enough I'll give you my FB
✌🏻
Body language that conveys embarrassment other than blushing
Because some of you fanfic writers need this
Taking steps backwards
Hiding your face in your hands
Shifting glances all around the room
Wide eyes
Crossing your arms across yourself
Taking a defensive stance/pose
Stuttering (USE SPARINGLY PLEASE)
Scratching the back of your head
Shifting weight from side to side
Exaggerated hand motions (fanning self, vague gestures, etc.)
Nervous quirks (playing with your hair, picking at skin/clothing, etc.)
Turning head sideways to avoid staring straight ahead
Keep in mind that blushing comes from blood running to the face, so people aren’t going to turn cherry red, especially if they have darker skin where it’s less obvious.
When boys complain about bra straps being distracting, and start comparing it to pulling out their cock, do they fucking realise that a bra is underwear, not genitalia? And the equivalent would be them walking around with their pants so low that their boxers are showing, which they would never do… OH WAIT
the worst thing about zodiac posts is even if you tell yourself you don’t care it’s basically impossible to avoid scrolling to check what fruit tree your sign is
I feel cheated that this wasn’t immediately followed by a ‘the signs as fruit trees’ post
Broke af?
But still interested in feeding yourself? What if I told you that there’s a woman with a blog who had to feed both herself and her young son…on 10 British pounds ($15/14 Euro) per week?
Let me tell you a thing.
This woman saved my life last year. Actually saved my life. I had a piggy bank full of change and that’s it. Many people in my fandom might remember that dark time as when I had to hock my writing skills in exchange for donations. I cried a lot then.
This is real talk, people: I marked down exactly what I needed to buy, totaled it, counted out that exact change, and then went to three different stores to buy what I needed so I didn’t have to dump a load of change on just one person. I was already embarrassed, but to feel people staring? Utter shame suffused me. The reasons behind that are another post all together.
AgirlcalledJack.com is run by a British woman who was on benefits for years. Things got desperate. She had to find a way to feed herself and her son using just the basics that could be found at the supermarket. But the recipes she came up with are amazing.
You have to consider the differing costs of things between countries, but if you just have three ingredients in your cupboard, this woman will tell you what to do with it. Check what you already have. Chances are you have the basics of a filling meal already.
Here’s her list of kitchen basics.
Bake your own bread. It’s easier than you think. Here’s a list of many recipes, each using some variation of just plain flour, yeast, some oil, maybe water or lemon juice. And kneading bread is therapeutic.
Make your own pasta–gluten free.
She gets it. She really does. This is the article that started it all. It’s called “Hunger Hurts”.
She has vegan recipes.
Don’t have an oven or the stove isn’t available? She covers that in her Microwave Cooking section.
She has a book, but many recipes can be found on her blog for free. She prices her recipes down to the cent, and every year she participates in a project called “Living Below the Line” where she has to live on 1 BP per day of food for five days.
Things improved for me a little, but her website is my go to. I learned how to bake bread (using my crockpot, but that was my own twist), and I have a little cart full of things that saved me back then, just in case I need them again. She gives you the tools to feed yourself, for very little money, and that’s a fabulous feeling.
Tip: Whenever you have a little extra money, buy a 10 dollar/pound/euro giftcard from your discount grocer. Stash it. That’s your super emergency money. Make sure they don’t charge by the month for lack of use, though.
I don’t care if it sounds like an advertisement–you won’t be buying anything from the site. What I DO care about is your mental, emotional, and physical health–and dammit, food’s right in the center of that.
If you don’t need this now, pass it on to someone who does. Pass it on anyway, because do you REALLY know which of the people in your life is in need? Which follower might be staring at their own piggy bank? Trust me: someone out there needs to see this.
<3
Both Rose and Greg had luscious locks, Steven cannot escape his destiny of fabulous hair.
do people actually preheat their ovens
dude u cant be for real ….yes bc you *need* to especially for certain food…its like heating a skillet before using it….. if not ur food will be all fuckd up and cook unevenly and i jus…t i cant…. i mean….. i used to work in a kitchen and am a waitress now and i… i cant believe ppl r reblogging this….unless they are 13 years old and have never cooked or baked before.
Okay, have to say something. You MUST preheat your oven for many safety reasons. Say your oven takes 5 minutes to get up to temperature, 10 if it’s a big oven. If you have, say, chicken or fish or beef in there, that’s 5-10 minutes of cooktime your food isn’t getting, because the temperature isn’t hot enough to cook anything. Cooktimes are estimated knowing that the oven’s already preheated, so when you ignore that step, you’re undercooking your food by ~4-8 minutes. That leaves bacteria and other gross stuff in place. It’ll taste awful and maybe give you diseases to boot. Even if your food tastes okay, if the internal temperature isn’t high enough, it won’t kill off enough of the bacteria living in it. For most baked goods, you have the possibility of salmonella from the uncooked egg yolk, and it’ll also be really gross to eat.
Don’t quote me on this, because I’m going off of a many year old memory of Good Eats with Alton Brown, but…
For a good safety measure, leave the oven empty for at least 15 to 20 minutes. You want to be sure the entire oven is heated, and the preheat timer only times how long until the heating element reaches the temperature you need.
Lastly, 165 degrees is safe internal food temperature
I literally only have one rule in my writing and it is this:
No matter what I put my characters through, they make it. They get to make it to the end of the story and have everything work out and be ok.
Because that’s the story I need. So it’s the kind I write.
If you want a piece of writing advice: write a story that is what you needed to hear at whatever age your target demographic is. I can guarantee you there’ll be someone out there who needs to hear it as much as you did. And maybe you’ll help them the same way someone else’s story did for you.
For some reason, this hit home and I never realized it that I did this for my stories too
Me: *needs help*
My friend: hey are you doing okay
Me: *actually opens up to them because I have been working on not hiding my hurt when I am in trouble and understanding that it is okay to lean on others when they make it clear that they can handle it and that I’m not a burden to others just because my complicated feelings are a burden to me and talking about things with willing friends can help me feel better*
Things: *get better*
Me: : )
rb this with how long you’ve been on tumblr and what ur blog was initally about vs what’s it about now
people who made blogs before 2012 are the Ancient Gods talked about in fantasy
I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it’s long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn’t alter any of this.
….
Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.
Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which is seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.
As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm. “Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”
Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.
“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.” Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently. Hilda looked at him expectantly. “Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”
At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.
Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!
The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room. Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.
She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”
But her bed was empty.
Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.
….
DICK
ANEURYSM
GALLOPING ABS
Who told this lady she could write?
Why did she ever stop?
IT GETS WORSE THE FURTHER IN THE PASSAGE YOU GO OMG
i fukcing lost it at meat wand
‘entered her like she was a lottery’ 😂
mikaatqueen
IT’S BAAAAAACK!
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s.
oh my god. Im still laughing as I type Web this. I guarantee I will still be laughing after I post this.
She felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment 😂😂😂
Wait, but
“Her snooch got all warm, too”
“the soft pink petals of her clunge”
WHAT??? WHY???
I made my husband read this aloud to me with voices and now my ribs are bruised from laughing.
I am at work at the library and I am breaking our silence rule by laughing very loudly.
@hardbucky @magellan-88 @mischievouslina-rp @onceinanightmare @stars8melanin @softiestevie @thesparkyalphathor @echo-fallen-incubus @the-winter-dork-rp
Guys….guys! *Cackles*
Just sent this to my husband & he’s almost crying from laughing
What…
WHAT DID I JUST READ, OMG???
Oh, my eyes! 😱😱😱
I won’t suffer alone. 😂😂😂
@mastreworld @lokilover9 @burningarbiterheart @iamhisgloriouspurpose @vesperazylra @the-lokis-queen @lisams20 @lokiloveforever
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Ahahahah ! My jaw hurts ! I’m dead 🤣🤣🤣
This.is.art !
@kylotrashforever , if one day you don’t find inspiration for smut, i believe i found your muse.
You can thank me later ;)
@luciefee spongy love mountains
Help. I can’t breathe. 😂
Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Was her flower pollinated?
What do you mean ‘why did she stop?’
She never stopped. She’s an unstoppable dick attack machine. BEHOLD
I had to read this, so all of you do too. @suckmyspicytongue @phoenixpyres @secretshrew @longgone78 @davmopedia @the-hugs-are-here @pingnova @thevampireninja
Oh... oh no
Have you ever seen a twitter thread (or, in this case, two!) that so perfectly expressed everything you’d felt over months and months of harassment persistent? With all credit to @blackblobyellowcone, who is clearly amazing and completely gets it– not just why us women write and read the erotica that we do, but the history behind the censorship we, as a gender, have experienced. Bravo.
i don’t get it omg
who the fuck is party cannon they’re the true rebels here
…. Damn.
No wait guys… it gets better
Damn
He went from Savage to down right banishing Logan Paul to the shadow realm!
Jesus