Facts are facts
"How did you know to ask Eric?" "Because I don't trust you! You're bad at reading!"

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@thevirginiafiles
Facts are facts
"How did you know to ask Eric?" "Because I don't trust you! You're bad at reading!"
Married but Separated
VA: So Medtronic gives birth mother 6 months of leave with the healthy pregnancy program and stuff Jeff: 6 months??? What?? What is this, Europe? No way! Where did you hear that? VA: Yes way! I asked Eric Trotter. He's better at reading than you. Jeff: No way, I'm going to look into this. [3 hours later] Jeff: I am wrong. It is 6 months of leave for the birth mother with combination of stuff. I am bad at reading. VA: You are the worst at reading. Jeff: Did Eric use that with his wife? VA: They don't have any kids. Jeff: So how did he know the policy? VA: I asked him to look it up and he did. BECAUSE HE IS MY ACTUAL MEDTRONIC HUSBAND. HE DOES WHAT I ASK HIM TO DO. EVEN WHEN WE ARE SEPARATED. Jeff: [laughs] Yeah, accurate
VA: So Medtronic gives birth mother 6 months of leave with the healthy pregnancy program and stuff Jeff: 6 months??? What?? What is this, Europe? No way! Where did you hear that? VA: Yes way! I asked Eric Trotter. He's better at reading than you. Jeff: No way, I'm going to look into this. [3 hours later] Jeff: I am wrong. It is 6 months of leave for the birth mother with combination of stuff. I am bad at reading. VA: You are the worst at reading. Jeff: Did Eric use that with his wife? VA: They don't have any kids. Jeff: So how did he know the policy? VA: I asked him to look it up and he did. BECAUSE HE IS MY ACTUAL MEDTRONIC HUSBAND. HE DOES WHAT I ASK HIM TO DO. EVEN WHEN WE ARE SEPARATED. Jeff: [laughs] Yeah, accurate
MR: ...using a regression instead...
VA: I am honestly impressed you know what a regression analysis is
MR: yeah, I pull these things out of my hat sometimes - r squared and stuff
VA: you know what a correlation factor is????
MR: t- tests and stuff
VA: you know what a t-test is???? 🤯
(at winetasting)
VA: Cheers, everyone!
Jeff: Happy Sunday!
VA: it's Saturday
Mike: How are you doing back there?
Geoff: I'm having a horizontal problem. Some of us have large hips.
VA: Wow, rude!
Geoff: Not you! You're the smallest person here!
(VA and Francesca laugh)
VA: How are you feeling today, 小星星?
小星星: Happy
VA: What makes you happy?
小星星: I just happy
The Coke guy...
Steve: Yeah, I remember the whole gamification thing... I'm throwing shade at the Coke guy VA: I worked for the Coke guy! Steve: OH yeah! I forgot about that! VA: Coca Cola guy. To be clear to everyone else, the Coca Cola guy. Steve: HAHA Crowd: LOL!!!
Chubby little unicorns
[on call] VA: They're hard to find, they're kind of like little unicorns in the diabetes world. [on Teams] Steve: chubby little unicorns VA: those are called rhinos, steve Steve: LOL
Jeff: I'm one of a kind!
VA: You have a twin
Yolanda picks up VA at the airport
---
Yolanda: so apparently it's the mid autumn festival today
VA: I brought moon cakes
Yolanda: oh!!!! I was gonna suggest getting them tomorrow or something, maybe they would be on sale!
You don't have to be that good to just release the stuff Virginia came up with 4 years ago
Look, we are not all book-readers okay. If you want us to like Conrad, you need to show that. Instead you cast Jeremiah as the son of a Greek God and he's so good to her. -Jeff, 7/30
Jacob: could I have a coke please?
Server: we only have Pepsi, is that okay?
Jacob: no, I will have water
VA: could I have a ginger beer?
Amrith: could I have a ginger beer with vodka?
VA: so that's called a Moscow Mule
Amrith: I'm an idiot, I couldn't remember the drink name
"Seriously the outfit is giving me rich girl, mysterious author, ceo of an extremely successful startup" -Shandra, July 2023
There are schools everywhere
GK: Paul's thinking about moving up here [Mammoth]
VA: What! Is he going to homeschool his kids or something?
GK: There's schools up here, what are you - stupid?