The Wanderers Incorrect Quotes

The Wanderers : Incorrect Quotes edition.

[kiddressources]

THE WANDERERS (in for the kill)

cedric flint

esmeray mulciber

hypérion herpopoulos

magdalene bulstrode

mazhar patil

priam greyback

thurayya shafiq

[thewanderersincorrect]

Thurayya : How do Priam and Esmeray get out of their messes?

Magda : They don't.

Magda : They just create a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

[thewanderersincorrect]

Mazhar: hey, have you seen my top?

Hypérion, without looking up : yeah, Esmeray's in the kitchen.

Magda : *spits out water*

[thewanderersincorrect]

Priam: when i get murdered, make sure it’s unsolved.

Cedric: what?

Priam: i want to be on buzzfeed unsolved.

Cedric: let’s go back to the “when i get murdered” part.

[thewanderersincorrect]

Priam: I love all of you guys. I'm gonna be at all your funerals.

Thurayya: Why didn't you just say weddings?

Esmeray: Or birthdays?

Cedric: More important, why are you so certain I am dying before you?

[thewanderersincorrect]

Esmeray: I only feel one emotion and it’s anger.

Maz: Last night you texted me like a hundred heart emojis.

Esmeray: Out of anger.

[thewanderersincorrect]

Someone, Hogwarts time : What’s it like working with Cedric, Thurayya, Priam and Esmeray?

Magda : Imagine working with civilized, responsible and mature people

Someone : okay

Mazhar : Great now throw that idea out of the window

[thewanderersincorrect]

Cedric : ATTENTION!

Magda : what do you need, Cedric?

Cedric : nothing, it’s just nobody gives me attention

[thewanderersincorrect]

Hypérion : I have an idea

Thurayya : no murder

Hypérion : I no longer have an idea

[thewanderersincorrect]

Esmeray : What’s the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet?

Thurayya : Knife to the throat ?

Priam : Gun to the back?

Hypérion : Poison in his cup?

Maz : You’re all horrible.

[thewanderersincorrect]

Esmeray : I have an excellent gaydar, I can determine if a person is gay or not with just a glance.

Priam : Mazhar has been in love with you for years.

Esmeray : He what?

[thewanderersincorrect]

Mazhar : I want you to look me straight in the eyes.

Esmeray : You can’t have me look at those eyes and expect me to be straight.

[thewanderersincorrect]

Maz: crushes are the worst.

Esmeray: yeah. whenever I’m near someone I have a crush on, I start acting stupid.

Maz: you’re always acting stupid.

Esmeray: yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

[thewanderersincorrect]

Hypérion: I have a new hoodie

Thurayya: WE have a new hoodie

[thewanderersincorrect]

Thurayya, holding up a banner: it’s supposed to say “Esmeray's birthday” but the printer messed up!

Mazhar: so what does it say?

Thurayya: Esmeray's bi

Mazhar: … still works

[thewanderersincorrect]

Mazhar, whispering: Future husband says what.

Esmeray: What?

Mazhar, screeching internally: Nothing.

[thewanderersincorrect]

Hypérion : Am i the only straight person in this group?

Esmeray : I’ve seen the way you look at me, you aren’t that straight.