The worst storyteller @theworststoryteller - Tumblr Blog

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It’s a Christmas surprise! I’m back (kind of). I hope you like this!

#the worst witch #tww2017 #hicsqueak #hecate hardbroom

i just need another season of the worst witch... another season of hecate hardbroom pretending she doesnt love mildred hubble with all her heart, strutting around clackles clenching and unclenching her hands like fucking mr. darcy... just another season with pippa showing out of nowhere to invade hecate's personal space and finally take her to pentangle's

anneofgreengaybles

sometimes I tweet about the funny/cute/utterly bizarre shit my 3rd graders do and say

anneofgreengaybles

the latest dispatches from room 156

anneofgreengaybles

happy monday folks

anneofgreengaybles

room 156 is BACK bitches and better than ever!!!!!!!!

anneofgreengaybles

a special room 156 update in honor of election 2020

anneofgreengaybles

2020 continues to be A Time but at least my 3rd graders continue to be the funniest people on the goddamn planet

somebody-already-took-this-url

Hecate: welcome to the “fuck Agatha” support group, where we all gather to give a collective “fuck you” to our least favourite witch

Hecate: but first, would our newest member like to say a few words? Miss Gullett?

Geraldine, sweating nervously: I may have slightly misunderstood the meaning of this group

Julie: What's the first thing you notice when someone tries to approach you?

Hecate: The audacity.

TWW advent calendar: December 1

Izzie, the red-haired trouble

“Azura, wake up” the ginger haired girl shook her friend gently “I need your help” “What?” she rubbed her eyes groggily. Before she could receive an answer, she saw it. Beside her stood a majestic reindeer. It was truly enchanting with its long antlers that barely avoided the ceiling. The animal’s back was covered by a harness and a tiny bell was hanging from its neck, that jingled with each motion. Most noticeably, its nose was glowing red.

“I had a dream about the last Christmas I spent with my mom. She had gotten me a stuffed Rudolph. I guess I wished I had it here little too intensely.” explained Izzy. “We need to reverse the spell! Or hide it somewhere! Quick!”

Their quest, however, was a short-lived one as a familiar thud of boots echoed across the corridor.

“It’s HB!” the first-grader realized with horror. ‘What are we gonna do now?”

“It’ll be okay” Azura offered a smile, squeezing her hand. “I’ll handle it”

Indeed, half an hour later, they were both sleeping peacefully in Azura’s bed. On the nightstand were two emptied teacups and Izzy’s beloved toy. AO3

#the worst witch #advent calendar #ficlet #hecate hardbroom #izzie jones #azura moon

heathtrash

It’s here - The Hallowe’en Zine 2020 - with a spine-chilling 13 number of contributors!!

Supporting marginalised groups in society is incredibly important to our fandom, so if you download the zine, please consider making a donation to community bail funds, mutual aid funds, and racial justice organisers, and black trans groups.

Many thanks to all the contributors! @hecatrash-sketchbroom, @hecateandhoney, @theworststoryteller, @rainshaded, S.E., @typicalwatson, @merricatsgarden, @curlywitch14, @ohlookitstomorrowff, @nerdy-lilsis, @foxx-queen, and @lostincakeandthoughts.

Downloads:

PRINT pdf (A5): x

PRINT pdf (½ letter): x

DIGITAL pdf: x

The print pdfs are optimised to be printed off, folded as they are, and stapled together as a centrefold booklet. The pages are otherwise in a nonsensical order! The digital pdf is ordered to be read on a screen and has extra blank pages to make it neat for two-up page reading. If you need it in another format please let me know!

Printing tips:

Put on some jaunty Hallowe’en tunes as you print and put it together!

Choose the right paper size version for your country

Make sure “print both sides” and “flip on short edge” are ticked or it will end up upside-down!

You should just be able to fold the pages in the order they are already in, but check the page numbering before you put it together

Staple or stitch at the centre pages to secure the leaves together together

Here is a handy guide to a 5-hole stitch binding a pamphlet. You can use any thread you like (I used 3 strands of embroidery floss), and a sewing needle will do instead of an awl - but make sure you only go through a few pages at once!

Happy Hallowe’en!

merricatsgarden

LOOK IT’S HERE IT’S HERE!!! And we are EXCITED, (but not “happy” because halloween is hardly a happy occasion)

heathtrash

CONFIRMED HECATE HARDBROOM IS A LESBIAN FROM A WRITER OF THER SHOW

merricatsgarden

MY MIDDLE NAME IS HECATE, MY FIRST NAME IS LESBIAN!!!

the-bored-bisexual

Mildred: What is the hardest thing to say?

Hecate (glancing at Pippa): I love you.

Dimity: I was wrong...

Arabella: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Pippa: Oh, what in the

Happy pride month, witches!! I call this piece “Pride and Joy”

#tww #tww2017 #the worst witch #the worst witch 2017 #tww17 #hecate hardbroom #joy hecate hardbroom #pride #art #pride art

felitomkinson

my friends r so talented. rb if ur friends are talented

the-bored-bisexual

Hecate: Last night I found out that Pippa is a sleep talker.

Dimity: Aww. That's cute.

Hecate: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell". In my ear. At fucking 3 am.

justcatposts

What a good kitten

just-shower-thoughts

All tests should be open book. It’s not like your future boss is going to say, “I need those tax returns finished by noon, but don’t look at any of the financial statements. Do it all from memory.”

tyrantworld

Exactly! You should be tested on application of a concept not memory

intj-confessions

I’ve told this story before but idc I’m doing it again.

My dad once taught some class at a conference. He gave everyone a worksheet and after watching them flounder for a few minutes on their own he said, “You guys know you can talk to each other and work together, right?” These were industry professionals who suddenly reverted back to that must-not-collaborate mentality when put in a classroom setting.

warsawmouse

school fucks us up soo bad

lierdumoa

It becomes more and more obvious every year that public school as it exists was designed to prepare people to enter the factory system in the 1930s.

berlynn-wohl

In case anyone didn’t know, the above is literally true. The modern public school system was designed a little over a hundred years ago by captains of industry to train people to do the dehumanizing labor needed on assembly lines.

Human beings crave meaningful work that makes them feel accomplished and resourceful. Humans like to feel like they’re part of a community, and see the results of a job well done. These desires are incompatible with industrial and post-industrial economies, so people have to be brought up in a system that crushes as much of this desire as possible and convinces them that any remaining scrap of yearning for dignified labor is not worth acknowledging or pursuing.

Class periods that aren’t long enough to devote serious thought to a subject; the bells that tell you when it’s time to eat, regardless of when you’re actually hungry; the alienating tedium of standardized testing; these things didn’t develop organically. They were designed by the people who stood to derive the greatest benefit from them.

rosalie-q-deactivated20181204

“The Rise of Standardized Educational Testing in the U.S.: A Bibliographic Overview,” Torin Monahan, Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (1998)

“Standardized Testing: Fair or Not?” Dr. John Poulsen & Kurtis Hewson, University of Lethbridge

valtsv

having executive dysfunction, ADHD and just a complete lack of any conception of the workings and passage of time means that i consistently roll a critical fail in punctuality

valtsv

me: okay so i have to be there at 9 so i’ll get up at 7, actually get up at 7:30, get off my phone and into the shower at 7:45, finish dressing at 8, stop reading my news feed and make breakfast at 8:15, clean my teeth and leave at 8:30 with 10 minutes extra time to spare if shit goes sideways. there’s no way i can possibly be late.

me, still in my pyjamas in bed, scrolling through twitter at 08:59: motherfucker i did it again

valtsv

my brain with every passing second drawing towards a rapidly approaching deadline:

my last, chronically overworked, almost entirely nonfunctional brain cell: read @ 11:59 PM ✔️✔️

professor-hardbroom

“Hiccup!” Pippa sang as she ran into the room at full force with a large cinnamon roll. “Share this with me.”

“I don’t particularly care for sweets.” Hecate grumbled as she gazed up from her grading.

“I know that’s a lie.” She said as she pulled a chair up to sit in front of the desk. “You were very much into the chocolate cake I made for us last week.”

Ungraded assignments were threatened as Pippa sat the plate nearby. Hecate scrambled to float them over into a neat pile and was greeted with a fork in her face from a cheeky pink witch.

“You needed a break anyway, daaaarling. You were getting grumpy again.” Pippa noted with a curt nod, “So I wanted to fix it. I slaved over it all day.”

Hecate sighed, grabbed the fork and sullenly joined in. When they both finished, Pippa was smiling as if she had conquered the entire world. “I see you appreciated my baking.” Pippa’s voice was but a small whisper as she wiped her face clean.

Hecate snatched a kiss and in a playful voice, rumbled, “You missed a spot.”