Berlynn Wohl

Berlynn Wohl is an octopus in a Russian fur hat that sometimes writes fan fiction. My AO3 is here. Here's my YouTube channel for fanvids! Some of my vids are copyright restricted on YouTube, but you can click here to see those on Vimeo. I was made in the 80's. Do not follow me if you are under 18. She/her.

[subaru-copilot]

it gets to a point that is just weirder if they didn't fuck

[subaru-copilot]

you did all this and it was not even because you wanted to bang him? weirdo

[mizuthe-cat]

it’s always “I understand why you have an autism diagnosis now” and not “thank you for explaining the entirety of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster to me, I really enjoyed hearing about the Chernobyl nuclear disaster”

[the-evil-skull]

The characters of Thor and Loki only work in the MCU because they fundamentally belong to a different genre than everyone else. The plot of the Avengers happens because Loki, part of Thors world, bleeds into the "real" world and completely overwhelms everyone. In the Avengers scene where Thor and Loki are alone together and they start conversing in Shakespearean, for six minutes the movies genre changes and we're stuck in the opera. That's the ONLY way those two should be written as far as I'm concerned and any attempts to characterize them by fitting them into the rest of the MCU "genre" fundamentally misunderstands not only their characters but the functions they serve.

Call the Branagh movies "boring" all you want, but there's a reason the first two Thor movies were directed by a man whose main strengths were pretentious, melodramatic Shakespeare film adaptations

[sanktpolypenbourg]

Hot take on the "sex scenes in movies are overabundant and useless" discourse:

The Thing you are consuming is a product of the people who made it and reflect what *they* want to make, not what *you* are excited about. That goes for all creative works. It's great if those align. Often they will not. Sometimes they should not.

[outofcontextdiscord]

[not-a-spy-garak]

[itwoodbeprefect]

bruce springsteen narrating kitchen safety instructions from the perspective of a frying pan:

[theonion]

[berlynn-wohl]

this is how 63% of Stephen King stories start

[madlori]

sounds facetious but there is literally a Stephen King short story about an industrial ironing machine that turns into a man-eating terror after accidentally tasting human flesh.

it's called "The Mangler" because of course it is.

[berlynn-wohl]

My friends and I now have a running joke about this, because I told them that after some trial and error, I've found I'm only really interested in Stephen King works that are not this premise. I loved 11/22/63, I Am the Doorway, Carrie, Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption, Apt Pupil, but I just cannot muster up enthusiasm for the stories that are like

It's about a dog...THAT KILLS YOU! It's about a car...THAT KILLS YOU! It's about toads...THAT KILL YOU! It's about GI Joes...THAT KILL YOU! It's about a word processor...THAT KILLS YOU!

and so on.

So now everyone in my squad knows they can get a cheap laugh by pointing at literally anything and going "It's the X...THAT KILLS YOU!"

[theonion]

[berlynn-wohl]

this is how 63% of Stephen King stories start

[berlynn-wohl]

everyone on earth except for one confused librarian in charge of categorizing new books: it's called the hail mary because it's full of grace! get it? because he's in the ship and his name is grace? ah, what a delightful bit of wordplay utilized by this popular secular novel!

one confused librarian in charge of categorizing new books:

[hinoneko]

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

[berlynn-wohl]

This comedy special is 40 years old and it hasn't aged a day. No topical or political jokes, no dirty stuff, no sexism, no homophobia, no racism, just an hour of tales of his dysfunctional family.* You can watch this one with your kids, your parents, or your grandparents. RIP Louie Anderson, true S-tier comedian.

*Sorry, but this part is non-negotiable. He was a stand-up comedian, of course he had a dysfunctional family.

[spindle-berry-deactivated202303]

closer up

[berlynn-wohl]

tfw an amazing, bad-ass, and instantly recognizable cosplay that you could execute for $70 wouldn’t be allowed into any con on the planet

[berlynn-wohl]

it's been ten years and I still get wistful about this once in a while, like I'm a male protagonist and gas mask samurai cosplay is my dead wife

[berlynn-wohl]

Making vids for Quentin Tarantino films is an interesting experience because he is 50% “every frame a painting” and 50% frenetic blood and guts. Kill Bill is a film so stuffed with both of these that I was able to make two whole vids, one slow-and-low (this one) and one non-stop fast-paced action (coming next Sunday!), and never had to even think about using the same shot twice. Both were equally fun to assemble, and both showcase Tarantino’s artistry while remaining (I promise!) 99.9% free of bare feet. Hope you enjoy!

By the way, I post a vid every Sunday, so subscribe to my YT channel for more mayhem.

[mistressaccost]

the nice thing about the torture chamber is that it’s the one place you can really be yourself

[berlynn-wohl]

[funfettitoonz]

alan alda: hawkeye wake up. i get to write an episode.. you know what that means. its time for me to put you in the torture chamber again

[ofwings]

Are you single?

do these look like the posting habits of someone experiencing romance

[paxamericana]

for 1-2 weeks after 9/11, almost every cable channel just simulcast their affiliated news station. at some point, MTV transitioned to a playlist of light, upbeat but slightly somber music videos that ran on a loop for another few weeks before they returned to normal programming. i have never been able to find a list of these songs. it has to exist out there somewhere right? songs I remember specifically:

rem - everybody hurts

dave matthews band - the space between

nelly furtado - i'm like a bird

[berlynn-wohl]

I was there, Gandalf, and I specifically remember these on heavy rotation:

U2 "Stuck In A Moment" Michael Jackson "You Rock My World" Moby feat. Gwen Stefani "South Side" Alicia Keys "Fallin'" Incubus "Drive" Nelly Furtado "Turn Off the Light"