i'm thinking about how hozier said "Honey, I wanna race you to the table / If you hesitate, the getting is gone" and how the yellowjackets are racing against time, racing against the wilderness, racing against themselves to find sustenance; one hesitation (misty pulling nat back, nobody bringing jackie in from outside, travis not being able to follow nat) can cost a life.
about "Throw enough rope until the legs have swung" and "Skinning the children for a war drum", how eventually hunted girls will be strung up to drain and how javi's clothes, the second skin of the only child among them, were removed so that the rest of the team could have a better chance of survival.
about "We can celebrate the good that we've done / I won't lie, if there's something still to take / There is ground to break, whatever's still to come" and the celebration of fresh meat, the bacchanal, the way the relief of something to eat drowns out any grief that might be felt; but also, food only makes them hungrier, lets the cracks in their stomachs grow bigger, until they dig pits used to hunt each other and take from their teammates until there's quite literally nothing left.
thinking about "Turning back to shore again / Above the outer atmosphere of a world he's never seen / And looking down to his new home, he feels the rising of a wave / And knows at once he will not weather it", how Lottie, who has led them through so much, doesn't recognize the teammates she crashed with, doesn't know what she's unwillingly created, and seems to sense that whatever the others are swept up in will drown her too --- even 25 years later, all of them are barely keeping their heads above the tide.
about "I looked down into the depths when I met you / I couldn't measure it" and laura lee recognizing something in lottie, taking her in, quite literally looking down at her as she welcomed lottie into her beliefs yet never able to participate in lottie's created belief system in the same way.
about "Measure the silence of a house / The unheard footsteps at the doorway / The unemployment of the mouth / The waking up, having forgotten / And remembering again the full extent of what forever is", how painful every morning waking up to a silent, freezing cabin would be, a team of teenagers reduced to silence by their stomachs in order to conserve energy, the lost members --- a team divided into those who are gone, and those who wake up every morning and wonder when they'll be gone.
about "With each grave / I think of loss and I can only think of you" and how shauna has to confront the reality of the part she played in jackie's fate every single time the yellowjackets hunt, every time another one of them dies for their survival, every time they dig another pit but end up with nothing to bury in graves.
thinking about "Do you think I'd give up / That this might've shook the love from me / Or that I was on the brink? / How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily?", "My life was a storm, since I was born / How could I fear any hurricane?" and van, who took care of her mother and tried to make sense of her life as a teen, taking care of taissa --- following her when she's sleepwalking, keeping her safe even when it brings her close to the cliff herself, trying to understand it so that taissa can have peace of mind --- van, who's in her thirties and still taking care of her mother and taissa and everyone around her and trying to make sense of her life while knowing that she doesn't have much left.
about "I'll tell them put me back in it", van looking into the eye of the storm and gritting her teeth. the woman who's supposed to be dead, burnt to a crisp, taking the crumbling foundation she's been given and trying her best to build it into something she can be proud of.
in conclusion i better fucking hear some hozier in the next season of yj
prguitarman
jacobvanloon
annaxmalina
germansingergirl
theartofmadeline
origamiaround