Adapt. Adjust. Survive.

I'm a huge geek who's easy to get along with. But also a person with dreams of getting into the FBI or CIA, so I have to go through college. Mass Effect, photography, Star Wars, LOTR, guns/military life, Dragon Age and great humor catch my interest the most.

[a-stale-donut]

Priorities, Garrus…. Plus there’s probably a reason why there are so many rules against bottle shooting on the Citadel

[vetrayder]

my favorite thing in the entire world is drunk grunt muttering in his sleep while laying in the shower (the last one is my personal favorite but also i especially like that he agreed to show someone his 4 testicles in his dreams for money)

[garrus-archive-deactivated20191]

I love how everyone says “Bomb!” and then there’s garrus..

on youtube someone said “That’s cause Garrus has been around with Shepard since the beginning, for everyone else it’s a bomb, for Garrus it’s Tuesday.“

THIS IS HONESTLY THE FUNNIEST THING FOR ME ASDFGHJKL

[noneotherthanthejoker-deactivat]

Finally some good news:

[taylortut]

was he told this by someone or did he just assume the authority to decide that grandmaster lived 

[angstalottle]

Would you correct him?

[frost-masters]

Fun Fact: grandmaster is one of the cosmic elders and is banned from dying by death herself

He has super strength, speed, and can survive in the vacuum of space indefinitely

(this is all on his wiki btw)

[frost-masters]

A bonus

[ampervadasz]

Unmute !

[ochocolate]

The question is, who here does the best impression of Captain Raymond Holt? You’ll be judged on voice, body language, and overall lack of flair. Everyone will perform the same scenario, Captain Holt eating a marshmallow for the very first time. Let the Holt-off begin!

[doona-baes]

[delicatebirdbouquetsworld]

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

The Office Meets Brooklyn Nine Nine

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

big dick energy

[1stprototype]

Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans.

[bort-the-champion-of-bears-deac]

This is genuinely beyond big dick energy

[kasaron]

It’s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE)

[red-faced-wolf-deactivated20251]

Holy shit

[norseminuteman]

Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT. 

Also I love how they don’t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while he’s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.  

[jaxblade]

ALPHA AF!!!

[whiskeyworen]

I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dude’s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go. For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his “…Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.” Then that poor marine. “Hey YOU! You can’t… be… here…” DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesn’t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like “You are doing a fine job. That’s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*” It’s as if he’s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic. Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isn’t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. He’s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCH… that he’s calm. He’s so far beyond wrath at the demons that he’s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesn’t grunt, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, it’ll bleed like the last. He doesn’t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; it’s a function of existence for him.

[senatorwiggles-deactivated20241]

Doomguy dissociating 100% of the time

[honeybottledrip]

this is the funniest fucking thing i have ever seen in my life

[guava-jarritos]

In High School Musical 2 Sharpay very clearly states that they have “…Iced tea imported from England, life guards imported from Spain, towels imported from Turkey, and turkey imported from Maine.” In order to import an item, it must come from another country. The series is set in Albequerque, New Mexico, and as New Mexico and Maine are both part of the United States Of America, they cannot have their turkey imported from Maine. As most of the characters are white, and all speak English, this clearly indicates that High School Musical takes place in an alternate universe where a second Civil War has split the nation and New Mexico is no longer part of the Union, based on the fact that we never see the characters celebrate the Fourth of July. In this essay I will

[sohotthateveryonedied]

This took such an unexpected turn I got whiplash

[justcatposts]

Cat catcher

[officialjeffgoldblum]

People in their early twenties still refer to people older than them as “adults”. When do you think they stop… and realize… they are adults

[natawhat]

I’m not an adult, I’m a child with a drinking permit.

[nightterrorbeauty-deactivated20]

drinking permit

[freelancervermont]

“What’s that in your sippy cup?”

“Vodka.”

[help-mywife]

help, my wife got wine drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire, saying “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”

[sherlockspeare]

Marvel’s Black Panther: “UN Meet and Greet” Exclusive Deleted Scene (X)

[the-x-button]

i’m really glad i got a physical copy of this brand new game so i can download 60GB off the disc and then install an 11GB update and then go through all these opening logos to get to the main menu and then a 5 minute loading screen before finally getting into the 12 minute cutscene before playing the hour long tutorial teaching me how to play the game.

[the-x-button]

how did this get so many notes in just 10 minutes

[vonisv]

Because it’s a cold truth we all suffer from