I’ve felt ashamed
shy and embarrassed
by this feeling
in the hollows of my chest
the copper taste
of hurt and distress
it made me feel less
it made me feel like I should hide
-a wounded cat that takes cover
to slowly lick its wounds and die
away from prying eyes
of pity or judgment
or that human want to fix things
put my psychological doors
back on their hinges
the oranges of fire that burn
inside as your stomach heaves
and your heart crumples and cringes
while you wait until you slowly fade
from existence
the jealous moon reflects
the light of its envy
and I sit within its shadows
wanting to scream
hearing those echoes
jackhammers in my skull
vibrating and gyrating
while sorrow and shame are mating
it’s frustrating that my tongue
is so swollen with the song of the solemn
that I can’t speak
my words are too sodden
it’s a problem when all of my words
are stuck at the bottom of a chasm
of despair
a place of barren wasteland
a place with no air
a place that’s sharp-lined
a place that doesn’t care
whether you cut yourself
on its angles and edges
being a guest in the chapel of unrest
comes with a multitude of consequences
lyrical fences to navigate
amongst the terror-filled trenches
trying to find the words
trying to make the sounds with lips that
have a vice grip on the screaming sentence
behind my growling teeth
I hurt.
I’m in pain.
Inside my chest
One second it burns
And then I’m bereft
I can’t find words for a feeling
that hides inside metaphors
I can only wait until
one day
a gasp of air will escape
my mouth
held agape
I will say, “I’m okay”
lying my way
through simile’s mask
every time I am asked
“How are you”
there are no words
to reflect the truth...