Things I Can't Say to my Boyfriend

So my boyfriend thinks that girls poop rainbows and unicorns. Yeah. Right.

[thingsicantsaytomyboyfriend]

My sister told me once that if I didn't clean behind my ears, then I wouldn't grow boobs.

Now I have D cups and she has A cups. Look who didn't follow her own advice.

[thingsicantsaytomyboyfriend]

My Boyfriend Farted and Didn't Realize It

So I giggled. And he had no clue why, because he didn't know he'd done it, and I didn't know what to do so I told him my Pokemon did something cute.

I don't know how to handle this.

[thingsicantsaytomyboyfriend]

My life goal to become Hermione is almost complete. All I need is to get %112 on my Charms exam.

[thingsicantsaytomyboyfriend]

I was reading a book today about Jesus and his place in culture, and this gem of a paragraph showed up:

"Miracle was, therefore, an issue both for science (usually called natural philosophy) and for history."

I'm fairly positive that science is called science. Always.

[thingsicantsaytomyboyfriend]

A cat broke into my apartment. It ate my chicken. So I put a note on its neck and released it into the wild...

BUT THEN IT CAME BACK.

[thingsicantsaytomyboyfriend]

So my best friend told me I should Cosplay Dean for Halloween.

[crumpte]

i was in my room and someone knocked on the door so i screamed “WHAT” very viciously because i was watching spn and this very handsome guy walks in with a vacuum and hes like “im ur cleaning lady im here to clean OOH IS THAT SUPERNATURAL" and he just drops the vacuum and sits on my bed and now we’re watching spn together what do i do

[inthefleshsimonandkier]

let him watch 

[betsgay]

He called himself your cleaning lady

Keep him

[solbinas]

Sometimes I realize I learn more about sexuality from tech vloggers on youtube than I do from my family and school and it makes me kinda sad.

[missdanidaniels]

This.

[laughslastforever]

Today my grandpa found out that you can have pizza delivered to your house and he looked like he had just witnessed the second coming of Christ

[laughslastforever]

Update: He just ordered a pizza with “everything you’ve got" and after he hung up all he said was “what a time to be alive!"

I fucking love my grandpa

[laughslastforever]

THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO GET NOTES WTF

[cracked]

Really though.

[cosmicangst]

does anyone have like a default obsession

like your mind switches through these current obsessions and once the hype kind of dies down, there’s always this one fandom that it switches back to when there’s nothing else new and it’s like always there without fail

[adeardreams]

[digitalcrisis]

if lucifer needs someones consent to enter their body then so do you

[writingabeautifuldisaster-deact]

Everyone can go home. This post wins the internet.

[-circa]

[aseaofquotes]

Kevin Brooks, The Road of the Dead

[themooseinthetardis-deactivated]

[brethrenbeforewenchesspn]

[daleyprophet]

[hogwartskidsproblems]

#can we just appreciate all the house unity going on here #i mean slytherins and gryffindors working together peacefully #this is a revolutionary gif right here

[margodarling]

I’m so lonely. And not like “I’m single and lonely" which I am, but I’m talking about like “I have so many things that I need to tell someone but I don’t feel comfortable telling anyone and I feel completely alone" kind of lonely. And I want to scream or cry or even sing just as long as someone hears me. But I won’t. I really can’t.