thoughts on sam x astrid and caine x diana?
sorry for only answering these now finals kicked my ass lmao
okay but i love this question because i have So Many Thoughts on these two couples. especially caina but we'll start with sam and astrid
okay. so. astrid is a manipulative bitch. i mean that with as much love as i can mean it, but it's true. she's cold-hearted, and awful, and she can get her way out of anything. she's slimy and irritable and stuck-up, and everyone in the fayz knows it. but she's also super smart: she can predict where all of this shit in the dome is going to go, and she knows she's just some little girl with an autistic brother to look after, and therefore she's not going to survive on her own. but she knows she can use sam. she knows what he possesses, and she knows she can be the push, and she is the push. she needs a protector, and sam is that guy: he likes her, and he's moral, and he's brave. and later, she learns he's powerful. he's very, very powerful.
astrid is just a school kid crush for sam at first. she's pretty and smart but she's way, way too far out of his league, because he's just some dumb surfer kid that's barely passing his classes, and if it was up to him, he'd just ride the waves all day. he's mostly a loner, and he only sticks around quinn, and even with his strike of heroism on the school bus that fateful day, he fades into the background, a blurry figure. he doesn't mind this life; in fact, he likes it. but he has a moral compass, and he also has power. and that combination never ends well for boys that like to fade in the back.
it's so easy for astrid to manipulate him. he likes her, she knows. he tries to save a girl and she burns to death in front of his face, when he almost killed himself just to get a corpse out of a fire. he watches the blow that kills bette, and it slowly dawns on him that this is how it's going to be. he is the most powerful person in the fayz aside from pete, an autistic kid who doesn't know what the hell he's doing, and caine, a rival, the "evil" side. and he realizes with power comes responsibility. with astrid whispering in his ear, this becomes obvious: there was never a choice, not for sam temple. and he needs an anchor, he needs someone to love. edilio is helpful, and later on, dekka is his best friend, the girl he trusts more than anyone in the world, probably. but him and edilio aren't like that, and dekka's a lesbian, and platonic love and romantic love are so so different. he doesn't want to kiss dekka, and he doesn't want to kiss edilio, and him and quinn will never be the same again. and astrid is always so close, a whisper away.
he needs the anchor she provides. in the back of his mind, he's not an idiot: he knows he's being used, and he knows he's so easy to work over. but as his humanity slowly slips away, as he goes from a laid-back surfer to a killer that is always watched by everyone for an example, he needs her. he needs that touch; he needs to be kissed just to know something in him is still real. something in him is still sam temple, surfer dude who fades into the back, a blurry figure. he pushes her to have sex with him, he wants her more than anything, because it's so much easier to focus on pleasure than a world in which all of his friends could be whipped to death any minute. in which he could be whipped to death any minute.
but she's so cold, and he doesn't think people are exaggerating when they call her the ice queen. she's stuck up, and overly religious, as if clinging on to some faith will save her from all of this. he thinks it's stupid, because she's just as much a killer as him now. but still, she clings on to some god that just doesn't feel real to sam, because how can a god let all of this happen? but he can never push her too far, because deep down, he does care for her, just as she cares for him.
it's a never-ending struggle. sam wants sex, and astrid wants to be redeemed, and deep down both of them would die for each other, but they both know what needs to be prioritized over a relationship. this is the fayz, where if you look the wrong way, you'll witness a murder. but they grow together, and at the end, they are practically one: even with all the fights, the struggles, sam still holds her in the dark after she listens to cigar eaten alive, and they give up together: two shattered kids that have seen too much. they don't know each other, and they do, and in some twisted, fucked up way that only can happen in the fayz, they do love each other. sam cries when he sees her blonde hairs on a stick after gaia attacks their camp, and the relief they both feel upon seeing each other again after she disappears is monumental. they know each other's bodies so well, the curve of her hips and the feel of his mouth.
in another world, maybe they could be better. sam would respect astrid's boundaries, and astrid would be more open to sam temple. but in this world, everything is a desperate lie of a thing, and they're both always being pushed too hard. they're role models, for better or worse. and eventually, they do have to crumble into each other. because sam temple needs one astrid ellison to tell him what to do. and astrid ellison needs one sam temple who still looks at her like she's lovely, even after all of the starvation, her hair falling out and her ribs sticking through her skin and the murder she's committed and god damn it, her sacrificing her own brother. she needs to feel human, and he needs to feel alive.
IM SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG i have so many thoughts about them...... So Many Thoughts. but caina is going to be worse so buckle up because i think about them So Much <3
caine is a piece of shit. he's a sociopath, a murderer, a power-hungry bastard. and although you could say the same about diana, the difference is, she cared. she was a bitch, and she used caine just as much as he used her, and she played the pretty girl villain, destined to be killed just as long as she got to kill, too.
in the first book, after the first major battle, sam and astrid offer to let her stay with them in perdido beach, but she refuses. maybe she's not aware of how bad things are going to get yet, or maybe she thinks she's been too awful for redemption. she knows she has no place with sam temple, the "good guy," and astrid ellison, miss high-and-mighty. she knows she belongs with caine, the killer.
she nurses him back to health. she is always the thorn in his side, the mockery in his ear, but she stays with him while he screams and cries and rages and mumbles nonsense. she cleans up his shit, she makes sure he stays alive, she feeds him even as the food drops down. anyone else would leave caine soren to die, but not diana. as much as she thinks he's absolutely terrible, some twisted part of her has grown to love him and to need him.
she sticks by his side: even when drake hits her so hard she nearly dies. she eats human flesh, she changes herself, she goes quiet: less ruthless and more tired. something inside of her that she has been bent over to the side comes out: kindness. something inside of diana, underneath the harsh, pretty exterior, is good.
caine has no such thing. he is a bastard by all definitions of the word: he doesn't care who he hurts, as long as he gets his way, and that includes diana. until the end, he hurts her again and again. he throws her through walls, he threatens her and blackmails her and sends her on suicide missions because he knows she's the only one crazy enough to do it. and he's right: she does everything for him. it's horrible, it's awful, it's beyond toxic, but their strings of fate are tied into something completely unbreakable.
toward the end, though, caine begins to change. he's still awful and power hungry, but although he acts like he could care less about diana, he still does care. on the boat, he thinks about how different she is now. he still thinks she's gorgeous, but she's so shattered. he doesn't blame himself. nothing is ever caine soren's fault, not until the very end, because he's a dramatic asshole. he knows they have bliss on the island, but he makes her go back. and yet still, he saves her when she falls from the cliff after making sure sanjit and his siblings get away safely. and yet still, when he becomes "king," he still misses her. he misses the way she tastes, the way she feels, and he thinks that if there is any justice in this world, he'll get out of this damn dome and get locked in prison for the rest of his sorry life. and she'll visit him and laugh at him, and he'll look forward to every damn second of it.
the last book is what really broke my heart. through all the twists and turns, caine's abuse and diana's never-ending manipulation, he loves her. caine has never known love, and he thinks it's stupid until he realizes at the end that he is willing to die for diana. because she loved him in her own manipulative, selfish, awful way. she stayed with him no matter what until she couldn't take it anymore. she risked her life again and again and again for him, and he never showed he cared.
one line that really sticks with me from the last book is "how's your mouth?" something about it feels so heartbreakingly fragile. they have been separated. they have lied, they have deceived, and they have ruined each other. caine broke witty, lovely, harsh diana down, and diana chipped at caine soren with a hammer until he finally revealed to her that he was human. too little too late, but she doesn't care. she'll love him all the same, and she'll laugh at his feeble attempt to kiss her. they have been wrapped up together since the beginning, and she knows it.
she's daring and impulsive at the end, and she watches him die. it's a tragedy, a horror, and sam tries to stop her; everyone does. but she will watch him burn. it is her last task as the girl that loved caine soren, her final pledge to a killer. and although she doesn't forgive herself, and she doesn't think she ever will, she remembers it fondly, almost. not all of it, but some. like how sometimes, sometimes, sometimes he was gentle.
sometimes. because for a killer, he was so charming. and she thinks, she thinks, she knows he loved her. in his own twisted, fucked up, awful way, caine soren loved diana ladris, and that's what killed him. and that's what kept her alive.
her death would've meant he lived as the ruthless king everyone else knew him as. but she was his anchor, his tie to being a human with wants. in the end, he was okay with going out, because diana was the last thing he had. the first, the last, and the eternal. maybe she wasn't his, because she didn't really let herself be captive, but she was his something: his lifeline, ironically, because he ended up dead anyway.
in conclusion, caine and diana sucked. they were abusive, and they treated each other horribly. they are a tragedy, and they were always bound to be. but they absolutely killed me. even writing this part made my chest feel heavy. they're by far one of my favorite gone ships, not because they're cute or whatever, but because of how real and raw they are. i hate them, i love them, i will never forget them
thank you for the ask <33 i hope you don't get bored reading through this entire thing, cause holy shit, i really went off baha
also you should listen to persephone by sidney gish, i know the end by phoebe bridgers, and punisher by phoebe bridgers!! all three of those songs remind me of caina and i listened to them while making this because they make me sad
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