Missing Parts
wastedsxnner:
He relied on his friend much more than he ever realised.
Mello. Other than marshmello, the name reminded him of - and he would never admit to this - strength. Strength, persistance, cleverness, short-tempered… workaholic. He could describe Mello in a number of ways. But weak and helpless were among none of them.
And he never thought they would be. Until the explosion.
Matt hadn’t even been there. He had been close, but not there. To be honest, he couldn’t even fully remember the moments before he saw the smoke. What he had been doing had been overtaken by the blur of events afterwards. Mello (reluctantly) being admitted to a hospital. The surgerys, the operations, the… right leg… It was gone. And burns stretched out over what should have been normal, soft skin. His left side of his face. It took Matt a while to comprehend.
Of course, Matt was always there for Mello. It was harder on him than it was on Matt, obviously. The redhead had to set aside his gaming and his pointless lounging around to help. Keep on top of the Kira case, too. He knew how much it meant to his best friend.
It had been difficult. On both of them. But now (most of) Mello was back. In the apartment. Matt was almost unsure as to what to do. He knew that the other would be determined to get back on the case… he would be very surprised if he wasn’t. Even with the missing part of his leg, Mello was sure to have that fire in his personality still. Right? Even though it had been two months….
He didn’t think about it. If he wanted to make sure Mello was okay - he couldn’t think about it. Treat him as normal - do what he was told - help him through. That’s all Matt had to do. And he would. Mello was so much more important to him than his obsession with games. (Although that obsession had shifted onto computers. He had needed to occupy his mind. And hacking - computers, in general - was something useful. Something that helped…)
Matt sighed, quietly, and leaned on the back of the sofa, tilting over it. He peered at the right side of Mello’s face, before reaching out and moving a bit of his hair out of the way. “Still look like a girl to me.” He teased, lightly, and smiled. “Want anything, Mel?”
Anger…Resentment… Hatred… Pain…
Everything that could consume him did, especially negative thoughts. The pain occurred more often than not, and since the explosion, he found himself resenting anything around him. Mirrors were broken in the apartment, after all, his hair had to be shaved, but it was growing back.
Recovery was taking too long, and the scars that were on his form weren’t healing fast enough.
The explosion had destroyed everything, and now this was all it was going to be. Everything was swirled in his head, his brain was trashed from dirty and fucked up thoughts. Life had fallen apart, and now Mello was too damaged, mentally. Physically, he was damaged, but that mentality was shriveling away. Mello wore a beanie to cover the loss of his hair, but luckily it was growing back quickly. He hadn’t shaved in recent days, leaving him with a bit of stubble. The blonde had lost control, and self-worth.
Nights were long, the days were longer, and it never seemed like there was a change. His heart was on edge, his mind was sharper than ever. Mello hated that this was all going on, that his body was breaking as the days passed. Matt was there, he was trying…
Had things turned out differently, maybe Mello wouldn’t have turned colder than stone, contemplating his suicide on and off, despising life as the days continued to pass. A downcast glance occurred, only to take note that once more, his leg was amiss. Nothing there from the knee down. It was more than difficult, it was hell. Two months passed, and nothing had changed.
The downward spiral was destroying him, but also his relationships. Mello only had Matt, but still, he was managing. The voice broke through the static in his mind, the voice of Matt, speaking to him, quietly teasing. Mello glanced up to him, staring at him. It took him a few moments to collect what Matt said, and he tilted his head, wondering what was going through Matt’s head. It couldn’t be easy for him, and that made sense to him that he was destroying Matt.
Touch… That was something Mello didn’t desire. When he felt as if he were a beast, how could he allow Matt to stare at him. He turned his head away, that hardened gaze averted. Mello felt his heart racing, his body was going to break at some point, but for now… He was still in one piece…
For the most part.
“Shut your fuckin’ mouth, punk.” He paused. “I don’t need shit.”
His heart sank as Mello’s hard gaze averted away from him. His words were normal; he was used to them. But there was something more underneath this time. Matt, for once, wasn’t able to brush what he said away; he couldn’t make fun of it, he couldn’t make it care-free. He couldn’t prod at Mello now. Emotionally or otherwise. He... was just too scared that he’d take it too seriously.
Although, wasn’t that what he needed? Mello didn’t need a cautious Matt. He needed Matt. The one who would take the piss out of him, the one that would annoy him half to death. Not the one who was too scared of saying anything in case he pushed too far. He would still be Matt. He would still be Mello’s best friend. If nothing else, the other needed consistency. Familiarity, right? He wouldn’t take away his childhood best friend, not when he had lost everything else.
He dropped his hand down slowly, before he brushed his thoughts aside fully and ran a hand through his hair. He took a deep breath, then stood, and turned on the spot, eyes falling on Mello as he gave him a joyful smirk. Just a facade. “Well, I’m glad you don’t need shit. That would be hard, and rather disgusting, to get. I’m sure you’ll agree. And there’s no way you can shut me up... “ He muttered.. He closed his eyes for a moment, before focusing on the blonde again. “Well, if you don’t give a fuck about the Kira case right now... So...” Another hesitation; Matt pushed his playful smirk into a smile. “Vodka? Seems like you need it.”
