he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
One Nice Bug Per Day
noise dept.
Monterey Bay Aquarium
sheepfilms
Misplaced Lens Cap
AnasAbdin
$LAYYYTER
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
pixel skylines
No title available
Sweet Seals For You, Always
oozey mess
No title available
Three Goblin Art
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
todays bird
Product Placement
⁂
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@thirstymomfriend
I'm looking through powerpoint templates for a class presentation and was absolutely blown away by this one. I don't care what the topic is supposed to be, all of my future powerpoints have to have the Wizard
transparent gay rights wizard for all your transparent gay rights wizard needs
this seemed obligatory
you ask me whats in the locket that im wearing and when i open it up its a lovelier meadow than earth physics allows for and the air looks like the wind knitted it out of gold and wonder. the grass and red flowers look like every heaven. i close the locket and youre sad for the rest of your life about something you cant name
this is a pulitzer to me
when brandon sanderson talks about villains in his famous free youtube writing class video lectures he'll say 'what's the difference between gollum and sauron' and of course he means the villain that's present in the narrative and characterized in a way the audience can potentially relate to or sympathize with vs. the looming threatening anonymous far-off force (among other things). but every time he asks that i think 'well one of those guys tracked down frodo and got his ring back'
Brandon Sanderson: What's the difference between Gollum and Sauron?
OP: Skill issue.
I opened the ancient vaults and pulled out an idea I've had for years.
Introducing Cat Show Judge Aizawa. He will be judging all the MHA characters as cats, starting with Izuku. He is a strict but fair judge, and takes his job seriously.
Too bad not all the cats will! 😅
I love this weirdo!!!!
me: [posting in the maid gc] yeah my lady screamed at me and threw bottles at my head cus i talked while she was reading her novellas again. any advice
maid 1: poison her
maid 2: yea poison her
maid 3: i have a connect on some really strong untraceable poisons if you want
me: girls she makes me try all of her food before she eats it how am i gonna poison her
maid 1: put it in her mouth while she sleeps
maid 2: ^this. worked like a charm for my sister
maid 3: yeah dm me i have a bunch of techniques that might work
maid 4: have you tried seducing her? maybe she just needs to have her heart warmed so she may show you the kindness you deserve
maid 2: MARY
maid 1: cmon mary
maid 3: just because YOUR lady has sex with you doesn't mean everyone's lady does
me: no wait she does like to put her fingers in my mouth to check if i swallowed her food. and i'm pretty sure she squeezed my ass once
maid 4: yeah exactly. message me i can tell yoy more
maid 3: whatever. if you need the poison just hit me up
maid 5: girls do you know how to get wine out of satin
maid 1: how recent is the spill
maid 5: a few days old
maid 2: you're fucked
have you all seen one of my new favorite reddit posts
For context: This is the tutorial boss
it's funny how "press F to pay respects" was such a gigantic meme that it seems to have permanently affected the way we talk online. people use it completely genuinely and unironically. had a bad day? F. died in a videogame? F. I see it constantly in Discord, Twitch and ingame chats. like it's actually being used as common shorthand. when it only gained prominence because of how hilariously stupid this screenshot is
today at work this kid (ill call him Kid 1) was having snack w his friend (Kid 2) and kid2 had a kitkat bar. kid1 asked if he could have half and kid2 said no to which kid1 responded verbatim “Kid1 Has Banned Kid2 From Entering Heaven” and it startled me so badly i nearly started crying laughing
kids are the funniest people in the world when i worked at an elementary school during lunch one day the class unprompted started talking abt what they wanted to be when they grew up and this kid beckoned me over and was like
kid: when i grow up i want to be a cristopoper
me: a what?
kid: a cristopoper
me: i don’t think i know what that is!
kid: it’s a person who comes up with the names for different careers
me: oh, that—
kid: yeah, i just started my career. just now
me: oh my god
like he fucking got me. thats genius. thats a well constructed bit. he was 8
The Villain didnt barge into the Hero-HQ, he RAVAGED the entrance in an uncontained fury that could make even those Demi-Gods shudder. "Why was there a CHILD! at my Lair today, looking for a fight?!" he snarls at no-one in particular, standing in the smoking remains of the Reception.
some more of these two
BRO THIS IS NOT BASKETBALL
this is literally the 92 bulls
MICHAEL JORDAN DID NOT HAVE DEATH RAYS COME OUTTA HIS HAND
it’s called a fade away jumper
jesús maría y josé
This is a very good point
"old friends" is an underrated relationship dynamic because it's such an innocent boring sounding term for what is usually some of the wildest shit imaginable. it's always like 'oh yeah we go way back, we have history' and then you find out that history includes sex, drugs, murder, divorce, war crimes and The Incident
a funny thing about having a Problematic Blorbo is that you'll periodically come across a post along the lines of "um let's not forget that [Blorbo] is a bad person..." listing their various crimes, and if you have a modicum of intellectual honesty you find yourself nodding along and saying yeah it's true... but it's the greyness of their character that makes them so compelling... At the same time though you have a little Saul Goodman in your ear going "your honor in their defense: who cares like omfgggg who caresssssss like come onnnnnn"
peachy! 🍑
