SA representation fucking sucks.
I will say beforehand that if you are a fan of Vivienne Madreno's works, I am not criticizing you specifically. You're fine to still like the show and I actually do admire you for being able to look past major flaws.
I am also aware that other survivors are on different legs of their journey's, so this may not resonate with every survivor. I just want to give a heads up that I may use strong emotional terms in this. I feel strongly about how rape is depicted in media and it is a dealbreaker for me depending on how it's handled.
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I don't believe it when people say Viv wanted to depict male SA victims properly, or any SA victim of any gender at all. I've had it told to me a few times that was the intention. I then tried to watch the show, and stopped promptly partway through episode four after the Poison music video.
My first gut reaction as someone who spent years being sexually abused still clings to me. I also feel the need to note that I have almost no tolerance for the act of rape depicted in media of any kind.
How the fuck would you feel if you were Anthony? You were tricked. Told a lie that ended up in you somehow addicted to drugs to numb the disgusting reality that you'd sometimes get gangraped on camera for millions to enjoy your misery, humiliation, and dehumanization.
And then you get drawn in bondage gear, bent over, terrified, about to get gangraped on camera for all of Hell to see.
I did not get abused like that, but I was definitely used for pleasure as just a baby teenager who thought my value rested solely in how 'hot' my prepubescent body was to older men. This is important for my perspective, I promise. I fucking hate bringing this up, but I feel like some background is needed. I was at the naive age of fifteen when I went on seemingly innocent a date to a mall. The older boy I went with then raped me in public in several locations, and I was too scared to fight back because I'd always been a quiet person. People filmed me. They looked at my exposed body in disgust and whispered what I could only imagine was 'slut' and 'whore'. Words that don't deserve the hate they are backed by.
He dumped me after he was done using me, depositing me on a curb. My mother picked me up an hour later. I have never been the same.
Keep in mind, I gave you none of the visceral details of what he specifically did to me beyond raping me. Because it doesn't matter.
I then had no direction, and used shitty coping mechanisms like hypersexuality and jokes deflecting my trauma and drugs because there is little to no guidance for people like myself. I was soon trapped again by a man in his late twenties who asked me to do sexual favors for him and his friends on camera via 4chan. I only agreed because I was a kid in need of comfort, and I stupidly thought they cared. From there, I won't explain what I've thrown my body at in order to feel any fucking thing, but it was a lot.
I will give you a happy update to say I have mostly recovered. I am married to someone who loves me, scars and all.
Back to my issue with the writing of SA in Hazbin Hotel, I felt that it lost all of its meaning the moment Viv decided to animate the actual act of Angel's rape in the Poison music video. Even heavily implied, the audience can easily tell he was about to get violently gangraped on camera for entertainment while unable to vocalize.
How does this help SA survivors, exactly?
Again, if you're in your stage of healing where you want people to see how you were raped, please just sit with your feelings for a while. I say this with love. That is self harm. No one needs to see how you were raped. They need to see how it hurt you afterwards. That's the bit that actually needs to be told. Don't give your rapist any the attention.
At the end of the day, there is no justification for rape. There is no justification for showing it in media either. The people who know it's terrible don't need visuals of the act itself. You can easily imply it and focus on what actually matters. The aftermath of an SA survivors story is undersold. The way it damages the fucking brain needs to be spoken about more. (Literally, my brain is damaged because of what happened to me)
The only thing that showing rape as an action in media does is create cheap shock value for some, more material for others who seriously need to unpack why they find it arousing in the first place (no hate, I've been there), and at the very worst retraumatize survivors (also happened to me).
Allow me to frame this another way please?
Imagine a rape victim being approached by someone who claimed that they wanted to tell their story as a side plot in their new show. They are told that it will be in an animated R-rated comedy musical. Understandably, most people would be hesitant to agree. Not that it's impossible, but it has to be done a certain way. For the sake of this story, they agree.
How would they feel if they then saw one of their assaults animated as a pop music video?
Animation takes longer that live action does. You really have to commit to drawing something like that.
Personally, I would be furious. I would be horrified that the showrunner decided to let my abuser win again by painstakingly animating exactly what my abuser did to me. I'd feel like I was put on display again twice over for a fictional audience and for a real one.
I hate how SA is represented because it doesn't matter how it happens. What matters is how it affects the people after, how the abusers are (ignored because they have "futures") treated, and how society is not at all ready to address this issue.
It's a dealbreaker for me that Viv decided to show Angel's sexual abuse. Whether good intentioned or not, and it shows to me, someone who's had extensive therapy regarding my own abuse, that she does not understand the material she's trying to work with. Even if she is supposedly working with SA victims or if she is one herself, I fear she missed the mark here. Impact matters more than intent.
Thank you if you made it this far. This has been bothering me for a while, I just needed to write my thoughts down and hopefully find like-minded survivors.
