I’m just saying that maybe it wouldn’t have turned out quite as bad.

shark vs the universe
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Product Placement
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Not today Justin
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$LAYYYTER
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@thisisit-apocalypse
I’m just saying that maybe it wouldn’t have turned out quite as bad.
君の名は。 Time-lapses. (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
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I think about this tweet every single time I see this advertisement
kill
“First of all” I say indignantly, with absolutely no idea where i’m going with this
i say “first of all” with an immense amount of confidence and then immediately forget what i was about to say
I love this so much, I’m gonna start saying “nuts” we need to bring it back
I love b&w proper ladies breaking character with “sonofabitch”
I know this is a typo but this is so Fucking comical it's poetic
Kneels down, touches dirt. “Something terrible happened here.”
listen I can respect that Marina ‘and the Diamonds’ Lambrini Diamandis wrote a song about how bad she wants to fuck and made all the lyrics about fruit and eating and stuff, but I cannot condone her using the lyric ‘I’m your cauliflower’ and expecting it to be considered sexy
I think about this post often
in college there are only two moods:
1. i can do this! after outlining everything i need to do, it doesn’t seem so bad. in fact it’s very methodical and easy to follow and i can do it.
2. oh my god its happening. its the end for me. i might as well be dead. everything is due now. i was put on this earth to suffer. i have two essays due in 45 seconds and all ive eaten today is half a goldfish cracker. i can only feel pain
also these moods go back and forth every hour
a singular scuit. just one.
an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it.
‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years ‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones
‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice baked thus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice
behold the monoscuit/scuit
Why is this called a biscuit:
when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they cared thus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UK the evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree
I know I'd fall into their trap as well.
CHRIS HEMSWORTH IS A FREAKING GEM.
”thAT’s hAirSPray IN mY eYES!!!”
We’re doing Postmodernism is Sociology, and the teacher was talking about ‘language games'— language that is so specialised that unless you’re part of a specific group it’s totally incomprehensible.
And, as an example, he gave us this monstrosity:
And, what’s even worse— I fucking UNDERSTOOD IT. I had to EXPLAIN this to my fucking sociology class.
This is why we should never have let the millenials become teachers.
God I wish that were me
A thousand years from now people will find this symbol and be at a Loss as to it’s meaning.
Are straight white people okay????
What is this?!
People like this exist. Interesting.
this story has a part 2
THERE IS A PART 3 WITH GUEST RESPONSES I REPEAT THERE IS A PART 3 THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought things couldn’t get more horrifyingly amusing than the woman who wanted people to pay $1000 each to go to her wedding so she could “feel like a Kardashian for a day” and had a Facebook breakdown about it saying she was gonna go backpacking in Peru to “find herself” after being “betrayed” by her friends who didn’t want to partake but here we are
I thought it was the same person ngl.
I’m in the wedding shaming group and saw both this and the Peru post before it went viral. Love it.
THERE’S AN UPDATE
Stephanie is a true hero.
my favorite thing about this update is that the fact that we are even SEEING this means there’s AT LEAST one other snitch in the party that she hasn’t caught yet
I have to read this with a really annoying white straight girl voice in my head