thisispublic

27  |  NYC  |  7"

[thisispublic]

For once I wanted it to be about me, and wholly me. I wanted to discover that when I wasn’t concerned about someone else’s pleasure what would happen.

I ordered him to be blindfolded, cockringed, and thonged up after he buzzed me in. I let myself in and just seeing him standing there got me so worked up. I took my time, undressed, checked a few messages, took a few photos. I could just imagine his anticipation and how every sound conjured an image of what might be going on.

I order him to take a hit of poppers. I love the sound of hearing someone inhaling. I love studying the tiny movements in the body after taking a hit. The slightest moan, the cock pulsing. I got close to him, barely brushing his chest hair with my body, and then grabbed him tight, rubbed my body all over him. Rubbed my face against his bulge and inner thighs and everywhere else. I’m sure he could feel my cock sliding against various parts of his body while I hugged him tight.

His cock is bulging out of the thong now, barely being held in. I give the exposed parts of his shaft a taste. I order him to take another hit and then pull the thong down and expose entire cock - teasing it with just the tip of my tongue - slowly.

We play for a while longer, all very slow. I make him deep throat my cock. I smack his balls. I push him to the limits.

Then I put my head over the edge of a bed so I'm upside down. I make him take another hit, and slowly slide his meat into my mouth, it fills it up entirely. I can manage to maneuver his cock around a bit so I can barely breath, and from this position I tell him to start stroking my cock - slowly.

It was perfection. Nursing his huge dick while getting mine slowly stroked -- all while I was relaxing laying down on my back.

I push him to the edge with my throat. He fills my throat with precum and it dribbles down my neck. The smell used to be something I didn't love, but tonight I love it. I decide I want to cum now, so I tell him to stroke faster and I slide his cock all the way down my throat. A few seconds is all I can last before spewing my load all over my chest.

I don't allow him to cum. I shower, get dressed, and he Ubers me home. On the way back he can't stop telling me how much he wanted to serve me again. And I feel a bit awkward because now I've cum and I no longer want to be called Sir.

[thisispublic]

But as hot as it is to cruise around in the steam rooms in the gym, you learn to expect that pleasure ahead of time, before the reward is even stroking you off, or your lips are around the full thickness of it. And on the off chance that it was a weird time of the day or the guys just weren’t into you that evening and you don’t actually get any action, you wait and wait until you’re about to pass out in the heat, until you can’t even stay hard anymore. And you leave the gym in such an affected mood. Sometimes desperate enough to venture over to another steamroom and start the process all over again.

I was reading The Power of Habit when this all clicked to me. There was a scientist that was measuring the release of endorphins in monkeys when they were given treats. He’d have a monkey in a room, with a computer screen, and when the computer screen flashed a shape, the monkey could get some grape juice from this nozzle if it pushed a button. At first the monkey didn’t make this connection and so the shape on the screen meant nothing until he accidentally pushed the button at the same time. During this time, the scientist measured that the endorphins of the monkey were timed to when it tasted the grape juice. But as the monkey grew to expect the grape juice when the computer flashed, the endorphins moved further and further up the timeline. Endorphins would kick right in after the shape flashed on the screen, even it pushed the button or the grape juice flowed through. Soon after the endorphins had shifted so early in the process, the scientist removed the grape juice reward to see what would happen. Depression, anger, anxiety all came flowing in when the endorphins kicked in and the reward was never to be found.

[thisispublic]

[thisispublic]

I have so much old underwear that i need to get rid of. Anyone want anything?

[thisispublic]

A few days ago, I saw this guy on Grindr - just insanely hot. Literal perfection in every way. I reached out with a thoughtless “fucking hot” and was legitimately shook when he responded, “you too, love the instagram too”. I was fishing for more pics and thought asking if he had an instagram too was a good way of doing that. But then after combing through every single one of his photographs, I was really immediately charmed by him. Nice photographs, and a good ratio of selfies to other photos. Which said to me, great taste, and not too egotistical (even though he had every reason to be). I wrote honestly about how I felt after seeing his instagram, and it seemed to resonate. We spent the next few days talking about his work and mine (since they were pretty tangential), and a bunch of other nonsexual things. I think the idea was that there’s no one someone that attractive would ever sleep with me on looks alone so I have to charm him a bit, show him my personality. I would reach out, trying to set up coffee and timing would never be quite right, but after two weeks we finally set a date and time. I was expecting him to cancel, and every time he did something normal it was like fireworks.

We meet up, he’s shorter than I imagined, which is great, because lately the chemistry has been thrown off with guys taller than me. He’s not AS attractive in person, but still very very very attractive. In my head I calculate how many times I can glance at his arms without seeming creepy. He’s sweet, intelligent, and oddly enough seems to avoid making eye contact. He talks quickly, and glances around, it makes me feel like he’s nervous - but i can’t understand why he would be nervous to meet me, so I figure this is just how he acts. We talk about work, some difficulties I’ve been having at work, what’s next for either of us, his partner, my boyfriend, working out. It’s a nice night and I learn a lot. He’s gotta head out to the gym soon, so we finish up and walk out. He says to keep in touch and that we should grab coffee again. We hug and I try to feel as much of him as I can (he doesn’t seem to care as much).

Later I text him that I had a great time, and that I coudln’t stop staring at his arms or imagining him naked. 3 hours go by. He laughs and implies I should use that as gym inspiration. I ask him to send me photos as inspiration. 10 hours go by. He says he might be inclined, and that I should hit him up on Grindr for those exclusives. I try not to rush it, but message him on there as soon as it seems like I’m not responding immediately. An hour goes by. I send some of mine to start. 4 hours go by. I see that he logged on 2 hours ago. I respond to a text message about a workout routine. An hour goes go. He responds to my text and gets back to me on Grindr as well. The photos were worth the wait, nothing explicit but everything implied — just the way I like it. I send a few more. 3 hours go by. He sends a few more. He never comments on mine. I have no idea what he’s thinking at this point, and he’s already asserted so much dominance over me. I ask him what he’s into and if I could worship that body, how he might feel about a massage. 4 hours go by.

It’s funny because when I write everything out, it’s all so clear. But in the moment it’s so easy to be in denial — all the signs couldn’t possibly mean what they mean, I still have a shot. I want to live in the dream where there’s still a possibility than in reality where he’s clearly not interested. All I want to do is live at the gym now. I want to have my pick of the litter. I don’t want to suffer like this.

[thisispublic]

There’s nothing quite like the anticipation when you’re cruising. In this day and age where every moment is planned before you actually see someone in person, there’s a mystery and negotiation that’s tantalizing. You don’t have to know a single thing about that person and you could end up with their cum in your ass.

The gyms in NYC are a perfect place to get some action. Sometimes you luck out and walk into a steamroom where there’s only one guy, in the far corner, legs spread a little, towel giving him the slightest bit of privacy as to not offend any unsuspecting straight men. So you walk in, sit down next to them, loosen your towel and let it drop a bit, lean forward as bait to see if he’ll .. boom, there it is. Watch him glance at your temporarily exposed ass, arch your back a bit. Once they’re hooked, towels off and stroking. My lips on his nipples, hands all over his pecs and arms, sliding further down to tease his leaking cock a bit. His hands now on my cock as well - precum leaking everywhere. Sweat dripping down your chests and down your back into your crack.

And sometimes you’re not so lucky, and you have to work a bit harder, prove to someone that seems slightly interested that you’re worth the risk of getting caught. Readjust yourself a few times so that he knows how large you are, spread your legs a bit wider. Contort your body in the name of stretching so that for a moment your cock is exposed before you slide it back under your towel.

[thisispublic]

I can’t wait for the gay porn parody of Black Panther.

[thisispublic]

Hot damn you guys! My first 1k followers. If I could give each and every one of you a blowjob I would. To show my appreciation. :3  As a thank you. I’ll be taking requests. Whatchoo wanna see?

[thisispublic]

You have a nice body, if i had one like that id show it off on here too. Seem really smart too man. hope to see you post some more

hehe, thanks mister. i haven’t been to the gym in a couple months -_____- but now i have newfound energy to activate my tumblr again :D

[thisispublic]

why am i so addicted to a culture that i feel rejects me?

[thisispublic]

From what you've shared, you're ridiculously attractive both in physical features and intelligence. If you're in the SoCal area, I would totally be down for taking you on a date (I know that sounds really weird)

you’re the sweetest. and totally something i would write on someone else’s wall, so don’t find it weird at all. 

[thisispublic]

I like those mesh shorts, where did you get them?

Just made them myself from a pair I got at Tarrrrget. 

[thisispublic]

I felt inspired to shoot the other day. 

Threw on some sweats, got to my rooftop, peeked outside, and turned right around.

Fucking 3 degree weather. Can’t wait for it to be warm enough to shoot outside without body parts falling off.  

[thisispublic]

we waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.

[thisispublic]

what. why did i even take this? is it boring? you guys would tell me if i was boring you yeah?

[thisispublic]

hey guys. :]

[thisispublic]

Literally can't get any work done because I need to pee so often