Year Thirty

[thisisyearthirty]

So, if you’re not into musicals, I highly suggest seeing the Producers. It’s really a comedytold in song.

I went to see it last night and it was awesome. Well, it was okay. It was community theater. I’ve seen it professionally too, and that one was absolutely the best.

So, if you have the chance, The Producers.

[thisisyearthirty]

[thisisyearthirty]

So... yeah... not 30 anymore...

So, it’s been over a year since I last posted...

I have a new job (still work in Target but not for Target).  I sell phones.  Or, more technically, I sell mobility and digital services.

The jobs much better, and the pay is increased with commission.  

And I have no idea why I didn’t post more in year 30.  I went on two AMAZING vacations on different continents.  I went to South America, including Buenos Aires, Igazu Falls, and Easter Island... that was in March last year.

And in September, just a couple weeks before I turned 30, I went to Paris!  So, luckily I got to see Notre Dame before the fire.  I broke when I saw the flames on the internet.

So, I had so much to write about during 30.

Now, I’m 31.  Everything hurts.  My right knee gives out occasionally, my feet ache, and the doctors keep attaching me to EKGs and taking my blood.  They’re getting better, or I’m just getting better at staring them down and insisting that they get their best person and use their smallest needles.

And I don’t even have any vacations while 31.  I have one coming up at age 32, but 31... no.

That’s all, because I can’t be bothered to write more right now.

[thisisyearthirty]

Hm, Doctors

So, as I said, I’m back (and I hope for good).

To start off, today I saw a doctor.  Last week, I had a consultation with a surgeon about this fatty tissue that is really annoying and has a freaking lump in it.  So, today I had an ultrasound.  I had had one a little over a year ago, and they didn’t see anything of concern.  Today, I saw a definite shape during the ultrasound.  Still, the conclusion of the radiologist is that it’s just tissue.  

I’m pretty sure that tissue is probably a lump (aka tumor) and while probably benign, I don’t want it in my body.  Still need to follow up with the surgeon, who seems like the only doctor that shows any concern for it (though not much).  Still, I don't want an unattractive third boob that gets irritated with skin on skin contact.  

That said, here’s a catch up story.  The scarf incident.

So, I had this really cute infinity scarf that I got from the Target Missoni collection six years ago.  Black, white, and greys.  It was probably my favorite scarf because it went well with all my coats and actually kept me warm.  

Then, one day, I come home to find my scarf has suddenly emerged from the closet just before scarf weather.  I pick it up, only to find that it is no longer an infinity scarf.  My mother decided she wanted a shawl, decided that it was her scarf (even though I’ve had this scarf for six years) and cut it.  She was insistent it was hers, up until she dug the orange tag from the garbage to prove that it was, indeed, mine.  

Now, anyone that knows brands knows that Missoni isn’t cheap (though I got a great deal, and it was from the Target collection).  And, honestly, it looks stupid as a regular scarf.  The infinity was what made it look good.  So, solution, my mother owed me a scarf (and it wasn’t allowed to be a Christmas gift).  I find a scarf on Macy’s website, order it, only to be told that it is sold out.  

So, a few days later, my mother and I take on Woodfield (that’s a big mall), and trek through it for three or four hours in search of a scarf.  Took forever, but I finally found an acceptable replacement.  

Still, I miss my scarf and my mother flaunts around the house constantly with it draped over her shoulders.  

[thisisyearthirty]

Why me?

So, I write a post. I save it periodically, and then when I go to publish it, only the first two sentences appear. That's just my luck, right?

Well, since I have an early day tomorrow, I'll leave it at that for now. I'm gonna try to get back on this. I've only been gone for, what, three months? That's just a quarter of the year. I'll catch you up when I remember to write on my boring days.

Tomorrow will not be one of those days. I have a doctors appointment. Not the asshole one.

[thisisyearthirty]

There is a reason none of my past blogs have worked in the past.  I literally write up to five posts, then forget it exists.  But, because this isn’t about anything specific, but rather my poor excuse to let out my aggressions over paying $100+ to talk to a therapist, I hope this will work better.

So, as mentioned in an earlier post, 29 was not a good year for me.  It started with totaling a super cute Mini Cooper.   I now drive an adorable Ford Fiesta.  It’s been almost exactly a year since the crash.  

Don’t worry, I didn’t total another car.

Just a flat.  Hit a pot hole and knew immediately that I had a flat.  It was a mile north of where the crash happened.  Same road heading for the same destination.  At least this time, there were no injuries and my dad and some up-standing citizen were able to get the spare on.  I managed to make it to Noodles (second time today).  

Anyway, I know it’s been a week since my last post.  Not much really has happened.  I mean, there is a leader that I’m pretty sure is out to get me fired, and apparently believes that I can bend the laws of physics.  

As well, my ribs are feeling much better.  I’m in a position that would have hurt me the other day, but I don’t even feel a twinge right now.

So, here’s time for a little humor.  Living at my aunt’s place, I park in a basement garage and live in the third floor.  I’ve taken to using the stairs.  It’s some extra exercise that can’t possibly hurt.  So, today, I swung by to grab some things to spend the night at my actual home, my parent’s house.  I got down and found that I had forgotten my book in the apartment.  So, I walked back into the building at the same time as a woman.  She took the elevator up, I took the stairs.  She was shocked that I had beaten her up.  Shocked and a little thrilled, I think.  We both laughed and she went to her apartment and I went to my aunts.

[thisisyearthirty]

Well, That Just Happened

Okay, so nothing really happened.  Saturday morning, I’m at my aunt’s condo, where I am currently living while she’s out on a three month vacation, while the cleaning lady is busy sterilizing the whole place.  Last time I stayed here for an extended time, I worked every time she was here, but not today, so it’s a little odd for me.  

So, to keep out of her way, I planted myself at the kitchen table to read, and finished the book I was reading.  It was Lord of Shadows the second book of the Dark Artifices series by Cassandra Clare.  She has a whole series of Shadowhunter books, and this is the eleventh novel in the series (not including the Codex, of the two collection of short stories about the characters).  Anyway, it ended with the death of one of my favorite characters, which sucks big time.  I won’t say who, in case you’re reading this and don’t know.  It kind of breaks my heart.

Then again, my heart broke when Hedwig and Dobby died more than when Sirius does in Harry Potter, so there is that.  My heart goes out to animals a lot more than it does to people usually... but this was a person.  

Anyway, I have to keep in mind, as a writer myself, that sometimes people do die, even people you don’t want to die.  I have a story I’m writing, four books planned, and I’m not sure if I should kill one of the characters or not during the battle... well, one of the major characters.  I already know of at least one or two people that will not make it, but I’m not sure if I should kill this one person.  I’m not like George R.R. Martin.  I don't get pleasure out of the death of my characters.  I put a lot of time into creating them and making them different from one another.  Since I don’t want kids, my characters are the closest I’m ever going to get to creating life.  No one wants to kill their kids off.

Anyway, that’s all I have for now.  Nothing much happened yesterday after my niece came over.  Well, I did buy her a Ukulele, so now I have to get her a Ukulele book, not that she knows how to read music or anything.  But she is adorable and she tried to play along with my dad while he was showing her how he plays the guitar.  He’s also totally out of practice, but I’m sure he’ll get back to it a little more when he retires in January.

OMG, not a Sailor Moon GIF!

For those of you that are trying to figure out this GIF, it’s from the show Shadowhunters based off of Cassandra Clare’s books, the Mortal Instruments.  The character with the bow is Alec, who, while not a favorite of mine in the books, I like in the show.  He’s not dead.

[thisisyearthirty]

Humph

So, already been thirty for three days now and nothing... I mean nothing.  The most exciting thing that has happened to me is that I went out to a birthday dinner with my dad and he spent half the time ignoring me to talk to a friend of his that happened to be seated at the table next to us.  

And, well, I tried to post on my birthday, but after spending my whole half hour meal typing a post, my iPad decided to randomly exit me out of Tumblr, so there was a half hour of my life wasted.  Quite irksome.

But, now it’s Friday and my day off.  Yay!  I’ve relocated myself back to my parents house for the day because my niece is walking home from school today (which lets out between thirty to seventy minutes early, my sister isn’t sure) and we’re going to the park.  I arrived here about the time I figured I’d be getting up, so now I’m already extremely bored as it is 11:30 and my niece won’t get out of school for about two hours... maybe two and a half. I’ll probably paint my nails when I’m done with this post.   What I really want to talk about is my friend who is getting married tomorrow.

Best friends since I was ten days old (she's a few months older than I am) and she is marrying the guy that stole her away from me.  I mean, we weren’t in a relationship or anything, but when a girl ditches her friends to spend all her time with the boyfriend, he’s basically stealing her.   Before she met him, we were practically attached at the hip.  After she met him, well, she skipped out on plans for my twenty-fourth birthday... twice.  How does one do that?

As a girl that has chronic depression, being basically dumped hit me pretty hard.  I basically turned my emotions off.  For months.  Apparently I was pretty good at masking my feelings (or lack thereof) because no one in my life had any idea what was happening until I finally admitted to my mother four months later that I was going to start seeing a therapist.  It still took a few months before I really opened up and had a good long cryfest.   Now, six years later, I am happy to report that I have emotions again.  Yet, I am so sad that I have that to be happy about.  Okay, conflicting emotions.

Anyway, my friend (let’s call her K) is getting married.  Her fiancé is very... homely looking.  He’s also got whacked up teeth.  I’m not sure how she fell for him in the first place.  Before I met him, she was telling me how hot he is and amazing.  So, I was waiting for a tall, tanned, Chris Evans look-alike the first time I was supposed to meet him, but then he walked in.  Barely an inch taller than she is (maybe), a bit chubby-cheeked, the unattractive kind of stubble, and are we sure he’s out in the summer sun all day because it does not show.  Color me unimpressed and rather confused. The problem with K (and her siblings too, in fact) is that none of them have dated much.  I’m pretty sure that this is the only guy she ever did date.  Her brother barely dated anyone, and her sister the same (but her sister’s husband actually feels like a family-member.  During high school, our sisters decided that the easiest way to explain why an otaku and a cheerleader were super close friends was to say we were cousins, and it kind of stuck.  I’m sure that I’m going to be Aunt Amanda to K’s kids).  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’ve dated up a storm (I’ve had a few short-lived relationships that only left me more certain that I want to remain single) but to marry the only guy you’ve ever dated? So, tomorrow she’s getting married, and don’t get me wrong, I am happy for her.  Just not impressed with the groom.  I’ve got my dress and jewelry and am debating on shoes.  I mean, I was going to wear my fancy heels, but there is the injury called I fell off a ladder to contend with.  I’m not sure if I’ll be doing much dancing, not to mention doing it in heels, which sucks, because I love dancing.  Maybe I’ll practice after this to decide.  At least I know I’m not in pain in flats.  we’ll see. Well, toodles.  I might post a pic if my nails look cute.

In case you’re wondering, yes, another Sailor Moon GIF, as my other’s have been.

[thisisyearthirty]

Catch up…

Okay, so it’s been a few days, but there hasn’t been much to talk about. Still in pain, though it’s not as bad. Went to a lab (they finally found blood in my hand by my thumb). Saw a movie (The Kingsmen, which was pretty good).

Found out my niece and nephew have lice (luckily they didn’t pass it to me). And then another day of work. Sunday, I was a cashier, which usually isn’t so bad.

Monday turned a bit hectic. It was a particularly busy Monday, first off. Started with spilling a lot of coffee (I’m sure I’ll do it again so I’ll go into more detail on that later), and then having to run to two DMVs.

I mean, seriously, what kind of DMV isn’t open on Mondays? I mean, seriously?

Anyway...

Now it’s Tuesday, and I’m woken by a serious of dings from my phone. Oh, yes, that’s right, I’m 30.

PS, I chose this GIF because I love Sailor Moon.

[thisisyearthirty]

Worst Doctor Ever

So, I saw the doctor today. He made me feel like an object, or a horse for sale. Yes, I work mostly well. I have a bad wrist. I have depression. I have a very disturbing third breast growing. He basically said take pain reliever for the ribs(which still hurts like a bitch). Then come the blood test. I fasted for fifteen hours, only water, and then no blood.

Let me add something. I have a fear of needles.

So in goes the first needle. Then dig. That is why I have a fear of needles. Nothing. So, new nurse other arm. Still, nothing. My had began to go numb. I cried. I don’t cry from pain often. I mean, I fell off a ladder and hurt my ribs, rush, and scraped my arm. Didn’t cry. But fear and pain… tears.

So, this felt like a waste of more of my time. And, I still need to go to yet another lab for a blood test. I’m dragging my dad with me this time.

[thisisyearthirty]

I have that on both arms and they got no blood. Three needles and no blood.

[thisisyearthirty]

This is how you know your boss is an idiot...

So, I fell off a ladder. Lots of pain. Eventually, I knew I needed to file an incident report. Apparently, if you injure yourself on the job, you need to get drug tested, because obviously only those high or drunk can injure themselves, right?

So, I do the responsible thing yesterday and stick around after I clock off to get the information and sheet I need to get drug-tested. The only sheet they could find, between several of them, is for a facility that is about an hour away.

Don't get me wrong, there are probably places where the nearest drug-testing facility is an hour or more away. But not in the suburbs. I had to have a drug test when I was hired, and that was five minutes away. So, I wonder, why is it that I'm getting sent an hour away, on my own time?

Because almost all of my bosses are idiots.

I get to the place, and immediately, a guy that works there tells me, before I'm more than five feet from my car, that the place hasn't done drug-testing for over five years.

That's right. Five years.

So, he tells me how to look up the place I can get tested. There's a lab five minutes away.

Oh, and there's also a lab in my town. The next town over... pretty much every other suburb had the lab, all the same company. Best guess, I was sent to the central office where all the information comes and goes.

So, here I am, an hour from home, an hour and a half before I need to be at work, and just leaving the lab, when I had wanted to rest.

So, am I asking for money for all this? You can bet your ass I am. I was out for almost two hours. I drove more than 70 miles. They wasted my time and gas and, don't forget, I'm injured and any kind of use of my arms hurts, which includes driving.

[thisisyearthirty]

Still in Pain

So, it has now been about twelve hours since I fell. The pain is bad. Standing and sitting all day, I never realized how much the ribs get stretched and pulled trying to sit up from a laying position. The most painful thing today has been trying to get out of my bed after having been watching television for an hour.

Have I ever felt pain this bad? Of course I have. I've been having wrist pains on and off for over ten years now. Most recently (about a year ago) I was told it might be arthritis. Apparently, joint injuries you get as a kid can result in early on-set arthritis. Anyway, when pain is so bad that I needed assistance in pulling up my loose, draw-string pants... that's pain.

Still, that doesn't mean my ribs don't hurt.

[thisisyearthirty]

Really, 29? Really

So, already skipped a day. That's me for you. Anyway, let's start with yesterday.

First, a bit about me. I have one older sister, a niece (six), an 18-month-old nephew, and two step-nephews (10 and 12). My niece adores me. She sees me, hugs me with all her might (and she's oddly strong for a six-year-old). My nephew... not so much. He sees me, smiles, and then runs to mom or dad or Grandpa (his grandpa, not mine). So, that's basically the only thing I did yesterday, visit them. I held my nephew for a total of 30 seconds, all with him struggling to get away.

Then, eight o'clock, a text is sent to the family. He's saying 'I oo An Manny.' Translation, 'I love you, Aunt Amanda.' It was adorable, a few minutes of him saying my name and being all out adorable. My niece too. Total spirit lifter.

Enter today. Back to work after three glorious days off. I'm a barista at Starbucks in a Target. I notice that we're low on certain cups and lids. So, as long as there were two of us, I decided I was going to get more boxes of mentioned items from the side stock room. First, all is good. I have a full cart of lids of different sorts.

Then disaster strikes. The Grande cold cups (the most used at this time of the year) are way up on a shelf high above my heard. No problem. I get up on a ladder, grab the box...

Okay, problem. I have trouble with these boxes. They're heavy. Apparently, too heavy for me to bring up and down on a ladder. I fell. Crashed against a cart that was behind me, scraping my arm and hitting my ribs. Then fell to the concrete floor on my ass. I have literally just made everything twice as hard. My ass hurts. My arm stings. And my ribs and throbbing on and off. I don't think I broke anything, but I'll probably find out in a few days at the doctor's office.

I think I'll be posting again in a few hours, but my lunch (half) hour is over and I have to get back to work. Until next time...

Please can I be 30 finally.

[thisisyearthirty]

Still 29

So, 29 has been a pretty sucky year.  No real vacations (two weeks in the northern wilderness of cushy Wisconsin cabins being the youngest by thirty years doesn’t count).  Totaled my car.  Nearly had a mental breakdown.  And I’m in debt to my aunt (which I guess is better than being in debt to the credit card companies).  

I turn thirty in a week and a half, and this is going to be my all access pass into my mind and life.  Hopefully I’ll have something to talk about.