Benedict as a papa 🥺 He’s such a good bro to Eloise, I feel like he’d be awesome with kids.
You’re so right 🥺
Warnings: Parenthood, children, mentions of pregnancy and birth, f!reader
The house was quiet.
To most people, that would mean peace. It would mean the chance to relax with a nice cup of tea and a good book, or to sit a while in the garden, or perhaps even to take a nap.
To you, a mother of three, it meant trouble.
Your brood- and your husband- were nowhere to be seen, and you were worried. A seven-year-old daughter, a five-year-old son, and a three-year-old daughter were only quiet when they were up to mischief, a fact that you had learned the hard way. You and Benedict had been caught out by one-too-many buckets of water balanced precariously on doors, waiting to be toppled by whichever one of you was first to unsuspectingly enter the room, and you were determined that it would not happen to you that afternoon.
Climbing the stairs to the nursery, you relaxed slightly at the sound of children’s voices. At least they weren’t somewhere they weren’t supposed to be. Treading carefully on the floorboards so as not to alert them to your presence, you peeked through the doorway to see what they were doing.
Isabelle, your eldest daughter, was standing by the little table in the centre of the room. Her latest hobby was hosting tea parties and forcing absolutely anyone- from servants to her aunts and uncles to the family pets- to attend, and today was no exception. Her guests- or hostages, as they may have referred to themselves- on this occasion were her siblings and her father.
You bit your lip to stop yourself giggling at the sight of your husband. His knees were almost at his chin, folded into a tiny child’s chair as he was, and you knew that his back would be aching by nighttime. A six-foot man was simply not meant to sit at a child’s tea table.
Oh, but he was. It hadn’t taken long at all for you to realise that Benedict was made to be a father. When you told him that you were pregnant with Isabelle, he had fallen to his knees and wept tears of joy- the same tears that he had wept unashamedly upon holding her for the first time. You remembered as though it was yesterday, the way that the midwife and the doctor had frowned at the sight of a man of the ton so happily cradling his newborn child before the blood and vernix had even been washed from her head. It was one of your dearest memories, paired only with his identical reactions to the births of James and then Eliza.
Adoration filled your heart and threatened to make it burst as you watched Isabelle pouring “tea”- composed predominantly of air and not much else- into her father’s teacup. Benedict looked up at that moment, sensing your presence as he always seemed to, and smiled with his eyes at you as he obediently lifted his cup to his lips and pretended to sip.
“Izzie, darling, you may need to prepare another cup,” he told your eldest daughter, reaching out with his free hand to steady little Eliza in her chair without having to look, “Your Mama has joined us.”
James, your second child, turned in his chair with a gleeful expression to see you standing in the doorway.
“Mama!”
“Hello, my loves,” you greeted them fondly, coming into the room, “I believe there was mention of a nice cup of tea?”
Benedict was beaming up at you. Isabelle, however, was less impressed.
“There aren’t enough seats!” she pointed out.
Your husband was quick with a solution…rather too quick, in your opinion.
“Mama and I shall simply have to share a chair,” he announced, grinning cheekily at you as you raised an eyebrow at the lack of space in the tiny chair he was occupying, “I should hate for anyone to miss out on tea.”
Knowing how seriously your eldest daughter took etiquette and decorum at tea parties, you had to roll your lips together to prevent yourself laughing as you carefully sat down across Benedict’s thighs. His free arm found its way around your waist to keep you secure in the tiny chair, and you reached out to ruffle Eliza’s curly hair affectionately to watch your youngest child squeal with laughter.
“This is very cosy,” Benedict whispered in your ear, and you could hear the smirk in his voice as his teeth grazed your earlobe.
Reaching for the teacup that Isabelle had “prepared” for you, you murmured back to him without looking:
“Three children are quite enough, Mr Bridgerton.”
His laughter almost toppled you both out of the chair.
I am getting sooo impatient waiting for the new Bridgerton season, so I wanted to ask if you‘d maybe write something with Benedict with the prompt basorexia (the overwhelming desire to kiss)? I‘ll be thankful forever!!!
Of course! I constantly have the overwhelming desire to kiss Benedict so this took no effort at all 🤣
22. basorexia - the overwhelming desire to kiss
Prompts
Being courted by Benedict Bridgerton was torture of the most exquisite variety.
It was wonderful, most of the time. He came to visit you at your home frequently, always bringing with him flowers or some other little trinket with which to make you smile. He would promenade with you in the park, your arm looped delicately through his own, and murmur sweet words to you that made you feel like quite the most beautiful creature in the world.
The torturous part, however, was that the two of you were never allowed a moment alone. In your home, you were always forced to sit apart with your mother between the two of you to ensure that your behaviour and conversation remained proper. When you walked together in the park, it was always with a chaperone hot on your heels to ensure that his whispers did not become too complimentary.
It seemed ridiculous. It was evident to anyone who was anyone that he would propose to you within the month- Lady Whistledown had even said as much in her latest issue, and she was never wrong- but you were not permitted to be unchaperoned in a room together. Never mind the fact that, once you were married, you would share an entire house without a chaperone; for now, you were under constant supervision, and it only made you want each other more.
You were barely listening to Mrs Featherington as she droned on about the new dresses she had purchased for her daughters. It had quite escaped your notice how you had been trapped into conversation with the insufferable woman, but then most of Lady Danbury’s garden party had passed without you paying much attention to it. You had eyes only for Benedict.
He had arrived not long after you, but you had not managed to make your way over to him. Every time you tried to escape, you ended up being roped into small talk with yet another acquaintance of your mother’s. Ironically, most of them wanted to talk about your courtship with the second Bridgerton son.
Every now and again, you managed to meet his eye from across the tent, and every time it thrilled you to see the longing you felt reflected back at you. You had lost count of how many times you had had to raise your fan to your face to hide your delighted smile at his evident frustration at being unable to talk to you.
Unfortunately, the action only served to draw his attention to your lips.
Benedict was beginning to think that his head would explode if he had to stand and nod politely through another conversation when all he wanted was to cross the garden and kiss you senseless, witnesses and propriety be damned. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, dressed in one of your most beautiful dresses and with your eyes betraying how much you wanted to be alone with him too. It maddened him that he wasn’t permitted to show his adoration for you in public, and it left him with only one coherent thought:
He would purchase an engagement ring tomorrow morning.
Here it is! As promised, I did the digital english version of the Bridgerton Books Timeline! As a non-grafic designer, it was kind of a challenge to do this, but it looks cute, doesn’t it?
Thanks to everyone that liked, commented and gave feedbacks on the other versions :)
It was fun re-reading the books to try to figure it out the dates and events. I hope you guys enjoy it!
Love that in a lot of classic literature people just “randomly” fall ill but bro their homes were stacked to the roof with arsenic and asbestos and lead and radium of course they were sick all the time.
And then they’re like “we took my ill wife to the seaside and her condition improved remarkably” and it’s like Edward your house has seven time bombs in it please just leave your wife at the seaside and she’ll do very well not getting mesothelioma.
Request: The reader is Benedict's best friend and is in love with him. Their cousin comes to London and Benedict starts courting the cousin and the reader's heart gets broken. At the end he realizes that he is actually in love with the reader.
Requested by: Anonymous
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton (might be slightly ooc) x GN!Reader
*Though I never use any pro-nouns it is a bit inclined towards a feminine reader, but not so much that you cannot read it if you identify as other than
Warnings: None really. Mentions of jealousy, as it is a bit angsty throughout. Also there is a kiss at the end, but it's brief.
Words: Almost 5.2k (I think this might be my longest single fic?)
*This is my first Bridgerton fic! I hope I did it justice!
-
You smiled at the Bridgerton's as you approached them at the park. Upon seeing you they all greeted you happily, and immediately insisted you join them on their promenade around the park.
Approaching Benedict, your best-friend and favorite Bridgerton - though you would never admit it out loud for fear of offending the others, who all insisted they were each your favorite - smiled widely at you as he reached out his arm for you to take. Looping your arm through his, you began to chat fervently about the night before, a ball in which you joined together to criticize and joke about the multitude of man-hungry mamas and their daughters.
You had been allowed to postpone your societal debut for one year to finish your current educational plans. But you looked ahead to the next year with anxiety and discomfort, hoping silently that your plans of being courted by a particular Bridgerton, might save you from ever having to attempt a season out in society. But for now, you would cherish the shared criticism of the current seasonal events with him.
"Oh! I just remembered, I received news this morning that my cousin Julianna is coming to visit for the rest of the season, she will be tomorrow evening, and staying with my parents and I."
"Oh, delightful! You get along I hope?" He asked curiously.
"For the most part." You said cautiously. "She is a few years older than me, and was raised by parents who idealize rank and money much more than mine. But she is civil and decently kind, at least that is what I remember of her."
"Well I hope she does not cause you too much discomfort. However, if she does, you have me to gossip and complain too." He said as he grinned at you, making you chuckle.
"And I appreciate that very much, as you know." You commented, before you moved on to other topics of conversation, enjoying your promenade with your friends, and relishing, perhaps a bit to much, in Benedict's company, that of which you held with a higher esteem than any other.
- - -
After your cousins arrival the next evening, you found you were correct in your description of her. She held an air of pride and rank, that though it did not disturb you, made you a fair more cautious in regard to your manners.
She was kind enough in regards to you, and often sought you out for conversation, and you, overall, were not displeased with her. But, unbeknownst to you, this was going to change fairly quickly. For once she set her eyes on your favorite Bridgerton, everything changed.
You attend the next day's ball with your parents and cousin, you pointed out all of the people you knew, and paired with them, their reputations and behaviors. Once spotting the Bridgerton's, you of course, had nothing but compliments for them.
Approaching the Bridgerton's, they greeted you with all the familiarity of family, and once you introduced your cousin to them, they treated her in not so dissimilar a way. You were perfectly content in making the introduction, until, you saw how Benedict was staring at her. He clearly found her attractive, and was somewhat speechless when she spoke to him.
The more you watched them, the more your gut began to clench. As she spoke with a flirty tone, and he reciprocated in kind, you found yourself sinking into a fear that you started something that might take away from you, your hope of being more to Benedict than just a friend.
Multiple times during the ball, you tried to earn Benedict's attention, but he seemed to overlook you. And after having danced three times with Julianna, and never once asking you, you felt your heart beginning to sink. There had never been a ball in which you both attended, that he never asked you to dance with him. There had never been a ball in which you did not find yourselves in each others company for most of the night, locked in conversation and laughter.
Though you never thought anyone else had noticed the attention you seemed to always give over to Benedict, Eloise noticed more so than Benedict himself. After spotting her brother with Julianna for a third dance, she looked through the crowd for you. Once spotting you alone near the corner of the room, a look of melancholy on your face, that you attempted to hide with a look of contentment, she frowned in pity.
Approaching you, she looked over at her brother, dancing and smiling with your cousin, and for the first time in her life, she felt nothing for contempt for her brother. Eloise had never doubted your feelings for her brother, and often she was sure that Benedict loved you just as much. But seeing him now, so attentive to another, she feared that she thought incorrectly.
When Eloise appeared before you, you smiled at her. You were truly grateful for the intrusion to your thoughts. She smiled at you, and the concern in her gaze was evident. "Are you alright Y/n?" She asked cautiously.
You smiled at her and nodded "Why wouldn't I be?"
Eloise frowned, and was made aware that you had no intention of showing your disappointment or hurt feelings. Looking around, she made sure no one was watched the two of you closely before she leaned in. "I've had enough of this ball, haven't you?"
You eyed her, and seeing the silent understanding and suggestion behind her eyes, you straightened up and nodded, "You know Eloise, I believe I have too."
You and Eloise looped arms and made a hasty exit from the ball. Colin and Anthony, having noticed you and Eloise pass by them quickly, shared a confused look before looking around for Benedict, wondering why he would not be latched at your side like normal. Upon seeing him with your cousin, again, they had a joint realization that made their chests tighten at the actions of their brother against you.
Benedict, as he spun around with Julianna, spotted you exiting the room with his sister. He felt a tug at his heart and an air of concern that almost made him go after you. But after Julianna pulled him back with a question, he found himself pushing the thought away, assuring himself that you must surely be fine.
You found in Eloise a surprisingly attentive friend as she complained of Benedict's actions without ever asking you a single question. It showed to you not only that your feelings for Benedict were not as well hidden as you thought, but also that Eloise, and possibly others, thought that Benedict felt the same.
"Eloise." You said, breaking her out of her fervent rant as she all but bounced around the carriage in frustration. "I appreciate your concern and thoughts of my well being, but I assure you, I am alright." Though your intention was to remove attention from you, and try to lessen the concern and anger in Eloise, the emotion behind your voice, and the way your voice seemed to shake a bit failed you.
She frowned at you, and moving to sit beside you, took your hand in hers. "You don't have to lie to me Y/n. I've known of your feelings for Benedict for a while now, and I thought- Until tonight I mean that...well, that he felt the same."
Though she had good intentions with her comments, you simply felt your chest tighten at the comment. The thought that Benedict may have feelings for you would normally fill you with hope and joy, but remembering the way he was with your cousin, only cause you more harm as you found yourself suppressing a sudden sob, that caught both you and Eloise off guard.
You whined in frustration before smacking your fist against your leg. "Damn." You cursed yourself as you failed at suppressing your emotions.
Letting out a sigh, you gathered your thoughts, and spoke calmly, though Eloise could sense the suppression of your true feelings. "No matter, what my feelings for Benedict might be. He clearly...does not hold me in as high an esteem as I do him. So. No matter...how I might feel right now. I want nothing more than him to be happy. And if-" You found your voice catching in your throat as another sob threatened to spill out, you took a deep breath and continued, "And if, he can find that happiness with Julianna. I have no right to condemn them, and I should, I must, wish for them both to find it."
Eloise watched you with both sympathy and pride. She esteemed your strength and attitude, but felt pity for you that threatened to break her own heart. Fearful that anything she might say would only hurt you more, she simply squeezed your hand a bit tighter, and leaned her head against your shoulder in silent comfort.
- - -
After dropping Eloise off at her home, and returning to your own for the night. You lied in your bed restless and unable to sleep. At some point Julianna, returning from the ball, came into your room, and noticing you were awake began to ramble on about the ball, and how she was so grateful you introduced her to Benedict.
You could sense behind her words that she was more attracted to his status and money than his personality and kindness. But you could not find yourself able to speak out, for you used all of your energy to suppress your emotions. And once she finally left you in peace, you found yourself crying into your pillow, determined to think any prospect of happiness with Benedict, was gone forever.
The next morning, you hoped to find solace in being at home, alone to settle your feelings. But much to your dismay, multiple suitors had shown up to speak with Julianna. Even though she was not from London, nor was she out in society, she was relishing in the attention.
Part of you hoped that these events would deter Benedict, and perhaps he could see her want of rank and money in marriage. But, these hopes were shattered when Benedict himself arrived, flowers in hand, to see her.
You were forced to sit nearby, as they joked and laughed about the various suitors that had arrived. You could see in Benedict no contempt for it, and could not feel less disappointed. Nor could you feel less hurt by the fact that he showed you no kindness except for a simple greeting when he arrived.
However, when he had to leave, he looked over at you and smiled. You knew he was about to approach you, to finally speak to you. And though for a moment you felt your heart swelling with excitement, as his smile sent through you the normal fondness and care you held so intently for him. You realized that more than anything, the conversation might be solely in regards to your cousin. Perhaps he would boast of her, thank you for introducing them, show his interest in her more than you'd like to hear.
And your excitement was then replaced by hurt and anger. And as he began to make his way towards you, you rose, turned, and left the room without so much as a word. Leaving Benedict behind, with an air of concern, confusion, and his own pain due to your actions.
- - -
Once he returned home, he now held an air of concern. You had never once turned from him, never once shown him such an air of contempt than in that moment. What did he do? What had happened that made you disregard him so? Did it have to do with your cousin?
For a moment, he entertained the idea, and looked back on feelings he held for you years earlier, that from his own determination, he suppressed, convincing himself it would never work out as he hoped. Decidedly, he ignored this as the reason, though in the deepest parts of his mind, the thought remained.
Entering into the sitting room of his home, he found Colin, Anthony and Eloise sitting around. He stood in the center of the room and clearing his throat spoke, "I think I have somehow offended Y/n."
His three sibling rose heir eyes and looked from him, to each other, and then back to him. "What makes you say that?" Colin asked, though in his mind, he was sure he already knew.
"I went to the L/n home today to see Julianna, and when I was leaving I was going to speak to Y/n, but they turned from me and quit the room before I could so much as say hello."
Eloise, having known perfectly of the offence held her tongue, but glancing over at Colin and Anthony, and seeing their faces, figured they must know something of the matter themselves.
Anthony, clearing his throat and adjusting the newspaper in his hands eyed Benedict. "And you are sure you do not know what it is you did to upset them?"
Benedict, figuring from his tone that he knew of the situation, shook his head in exasperation, "I have no idea." Hearing Eloise scoff, he looked over at her. "Eloise?" He questioned.
Rising, she looked at him with such a clear anger that he felt an idiot for not understanding the contempt in which everyone around him now seemed to hold.
Eloise, stomping towards him spoke with reserved anger, "Then I suggest, brother, that you look to yourself and the events in which you have partook in recently, that in some way, may, have offended someone who is so close to you that it should be obvious." Stalking past him, she exited the room, leaving Colin and Anthony to smirk at her behavior, before giving Benedict a look of idle amusement, and returning to themselves.
Benedict, feeling more confused than ever, left the room exasperated, and unsure of what to do to earn back your favor.
- - -
After seeing Benedict, and turning from him, you decided that you must continue your avoidance. Not only for your own feelings and future, but for the hope, that maybe Benedict would come to the realization of how he's hurt you.
You decided that you would give in to your mothers hopes, and tonight at the ball you would be attending, would dance, with strangers, and possible suitors. At the voice of your decision, your mother was ecstatic, and expressed to you how it would not disappoint.
Though her good mood helped to elevate yours, you still held a heavy heart as you thought of Benedict. But then, thinking of him and your cousin, you found the determination to continue with your plan.
Perhaps you would meet and fall in love with someone from the ball. Perhaps Julianna would meet someone else, and perhaps, Benedict might grow jealous of your attentions to another. Perhaps he would be hurt, just as he had hurt you.
Wearing an outfit which accentuated certain aspects of your figure, you made sure to look more presentable than normal. You not only hoped to catch the eyes of others, but Benedict himself.
Having spoken with Eloise earlier in the day, when she had come to see you, she only encouraged your plan. And though she despised balls herself, was determined to attend this one. And when she saw you enter the room, looking more different than she ever saw you, immediately looked to her brother.
Benedict, having been distracted by Julianna, did not see you enter. But upon overhearing a comment by Colin nearby, along the lines of "I've never seen Y/n look like that." He found himself searching the room. And when his eyes did finally land on you, he felt himself speechless.
He had always found you attractive, as did most people, and he agreed that you never really needed to try and look "better". You always wore rather simple outfits, even to balls. Usually to deter men from seeking you out, though that never really stopped them. But seeing you donning an outfit unlike most others you wore, he found himself almost unable to recognize you. As well as this, he found himself unable to steady his heart.
This first reaction upon seeing you, was quickly replaced by confusion as you began to speak with the gentlemen who approached you. Usually in this situation, you would politely dismiss yourself and seek him out, for familiarity, comfort, and for safety. He could see the shyness, and discomfort in your eyes and demeanor, and felt the need to protect you. Upon this thought, he realized, that he could not save you, he could not swoop you away from the attentions of others, as he was inclined to remain with your cousin, whose arm was tightly looped around his.
A further realization made him curse himself, at the thought of why you might be angry with him, he remembered the night before, in which he had only spent time with your cousin. Later, he recalled seeing you flee the ball with Eloise. He was not there for you, he was not with you, when at all normal times he would be. Perhaps something happened that he should have been there to save you from.
Thinking for a moment, that he could, that he should fix this by now coming to your aid, he was stopped before he ever moved. When seeing you allowing multiple men to write their names on your dance card, and then, taking the arm of one of them, began to dance with him.
Julianna, who finally, after multiple attempts at gaining his attention, finally gained it, was pleased to agree to a dance with him. Though, unknown to her, was only provided so that Benedict might get closer to you. The current dance would allow him to momentarily be in your company. Perhaps this would allow him just enough time to apologize, and question your sudden change in behavior.
You smiled and chatted with your dance partner, trying to focus solely on his company, rather than looking around for Benedict, which you found yourself almost desperate to do. When you finally succeeded in distracting yourself, you found your dance partner to be kind and considerate, and fairly attractive in looks as well.
Not long after you were able to distract your mind, you switched partners mid-dance, and found yourself alarmed to be in front of Benedict. Who looked at you with an air of relief and fondness that almost made you forget his recent actions. But determining yourself to hold strong, you gave him a simple smile in greeting.
Benedict, sensing your mood, frowned, and when growing closer, he spoke just loud enough for you to hear. "Are you alright?" He asked in a voice laced with concern.
You repressed a scoff and simply nodded, "Why wouldn't I be?"
"You seem to be avoiding me." He said before adding on, "And it seems that I may have offended you somehow. And if it is because of what I think, I will apologize fervently and make it up to you."
"And what pray do you think you did?" You asked curiously.
"Well, at the ball last evening, I gave all of my attention to Julianna, and I forgot that I am usually there to save you from suitors who might intrude on you."
Realizing that he had indeed missed the point of your anger all together, you spared him a look of indignation that did not go unnoticed by him. "I do not need to be saved as you so fervently believe Benedict. I am not a child in need of a big brother. If you wish to know the real reason behind my disappointment, look at the company you keep now."
He frowned, "Julianna?" He questioned with vexation. "What does she have to do with it? I thought you two got along?"
Letting out a frustrated groan, you were happy when the arrangement of the dance changed again, and you were now in the company of another.
Benedict watched you with confusion, and found himself seeking you out throughout the night. But you continued to avoid him. And the more often he caught himself catching you dancing with another man, or in the company of multiple, he found his mood growing worse and worse. And he felt his chest tightening with an emotion he was unable to place, which to any other, would be known as jealousy.
The rest of the night went agonizingly slow for him, and when he was finally able to part ways with your cousin at the end of the night - with whose constant questions and remarks about wealth and status began to frustrate him - he sat on the swings outside the house in the dark, with nothing on his mind but you.
Upon hearing someone approach, he turned to see Eloise walking over to him. Sitting down in the swing next to him, she gave him a pitying smile. "Care to share your thoughts?"
Benedict let out a sigh, but remained silent for a few moments. Finally gathering his thoughts, he looked at Eloise, "Julianna has something to do with Y/n's sudden treatment towards me doesn't it?"
Eloise let out a sigh and rolled her eyes, "Yes, obviously, but I'm assuming you are still far off from the reason why."
"Well I assumed it was that I have grown close to her, and Y/n does not care for her that much."
Eloise groaned, "So close, yet so far off still." Benedict, having given her a look of defeat and desperation, made her sigh before she sat up a bit. "Alright, Benedict, answer this question. What do you think of Julianna?"
Benedict thought for a moment, "Well. At first I thought her perfectly charming, beautiful and great in personality. But...the more time I spend with her, the more I am seeing her for what she is. An overly proud girl who seeks nothing but status and money."
Eloise smiled a bit at this, relieved at this sudden change in preference. "Alright. Now, what do you think of Y/n?" She asked.
Benedict needed no time to think on his answer. "Y/n is my best friend. They are kind hearted, loving, loyal, and intelligent beyond compare. I am never bored or unhappy in their company. And I can't imagine my life without them. I- I..." He trailed off, seemingly coming to realize something he had since been repressing. "I.."
"Love them?" Eloise finished for him.
Looking over at his sister, they could both see this realization take him over. Eloise smiled at him, and placing her hand on his shoulder spoke slowly. "I suggest you tell that to Y/n, both your opinion on Julianna, and your opinion of them. Benedict, it wasn't just that you were spending time with Julianna, it's so much more, because you are not the only one who has come to the same realization you just did. Only Y/n came to it much sooner."
Benedict felt his heart pounding heavily in his chest. Thinking back on what happened, it all seemed to come to him at once. You had feelings for him, the same that he had for you. But unlike him, you were wearing them on your sleeve. And when he suddenly chose to be with Julianna, and left you alone, it must have hurt you so much. He knew only a fraction of it, from seeing you the other night with those men. It must have been so much worse for you. He did not blame you for the contempt you held for him, and now as he hung his head, he hated himself more than you did.
"I am a complete fool." Benedict mumbled, "How could I have been so blind for so long?" He asked desperately.
"You were blinded by your friendship Benedict. Sometimes they appear to be the same thing, because sometimes they are. You have loved Y/n for a long time I think, that eventually you just assumed it was a familial fondness."
Benedict shook his head, "No. No Eloise, I knew of it once. I knew I loved Y/n years ago, but I....I repressed it, forced it away because I convinced myself it would never work. I refused to acknowledge it then, and I refused to acknowledged it now, and I think...perhaps I have lost Y/n forever."
"No, no you haven't Benedict. Y/n loves you still, surely you can see it now. The only reason they acted as they did last night was to either make you see it, or to give themselves a chance of a future had you chosen Julianna."
Benedict looked over at Eloise, and with a nod of the head, decided what he would do. "I choose Y/n, and no one else."
- - -
After a restless night, Benedict - when it first became appropriate, went to town and bought a bouquet of your favorite flowers, and made his way to your home. He needed to see you, to speak to you, to tell you that he loved you and apologize for being such a fool.
However, when he arrived, he found a crowd of suitors and men at your door. He assumed they were there for Julianna - and had a moments reflection of having been one of the many the previous day, and chastised himself - but when overhearing some of the men's conversation, it seemed that just as many were there for you.
Waiting until all the men had left, though impatiently, he barged into the room, in which he found not only you, but your mother and Julianna as well. He felt a sudden embarrassment take over and bowed in greeting. He saw how you and your mother shared a look, surely of a silent understanding and disappointment of why he was there. And Julianna approached him excitedly and began to speak fervently.
"I'm so glad you came to see me again Benedict, perhaps you would like to sit with me a while?"
Benedict, upon realizing the true complication behind these circumstances, met your eyes. You frowned a bit, seeing something in his face that gave you concern. But he, upon seeing the hurt he was once again forcing on you, became determined to fix all that he had broken.
"I apologize Miss Heaton, for the confusion." You looked at Benedict in confusion upon hearing him speak to Julianna with an unusual formality. "And I must, apologize, for my previous actions, as I may have unintentionally expressed a growing attachment between us." You stared at him in wonderment, as Julianna stared agape. "I am, not here to see you Miss Heaton, but to see Y/n. And if I could, I would like to speak to them alone."
He looked past Julianna and to you, and you suddenly felt uncomfortable in your own skin. Your mother, who cleared her throat smiled at Benedict, "Of course." She said before walking over to Julianna and ushering her out of the room.
Once you were alone with Benedict, he approached you slowly, and offering the large bouquet of flowers in his hands, you apprehensively took them. "What's happening Benedict?" You questioned, your voice uneasy.
Benedict took a step closer, so that he was less than a foot away from you. "I am here...too apologize to the person who means the most to me in the world." You met his eyes with surprise at his words, and the emotion that they carried. "I have been so foolish Y/n, and I have hurt you in ways I did not see until it was too late. And I...I did not realize my own feelings until I fear, too late."
You shuffled anxiously in place, "Your...feelings?"
He smiled at you and nodded, "I love you Y/n."
Your eyes widened in surprise, as you had least expected those words to suddenly leave his mouth. Seeing your surprise he continued, with an air of impatience and excitement. "I have loved you for so long, but I was a fool, and suppressed my feelings for fear of never being enough for you. And in my foolish actions I missed how....how evidently you felt the same."
You felt your face heat up at his words, knowing that you had not been very secret in your attachment. Benedict stepped a bit closer, and took your hand in his as he stared down at you. You met his eyes and felt more shy than you had in his presence since you first met.
"Y/n." He said your name with such a soft fondness that you thought your heart stopped. "Y/n." He repeated with a smile that spoke the truth of his emotions. "I hope, that I am not too late. To...fix what I have broken, or to...to start something that I had only dreamed of, between us."
You swallowed hard, trying to gather your thoughts as they rampaged through your mind. Speaking softly, you questioned. "But what about Julianna? You seem so fond of her."
He shook his head, "I was blinded. I....what I found attractive and appealing in her are things I find tenfold in you, and I was simply blinded by the sudden attention of a stranger, though it does not excuse how I acted towards either of you. The longer I was in her company, the more I gained an aversion to it. I do not expect your forgiveness, as the attention I gave her and took away from you is unforgivable, and only down to my foolish obliviousness. I am more fond of you than anyone else I have met. As I have said, and will say a thousand times more Y/n, I love you."
Unable to stop the emotion of events having occurred over the last few times, colliding with his words now, you found tears escaping your eyes. Benedict upon seeing this, was startled, but he quickly began to wipe the tears away before he pressed his forehead to yours. "I am sorry for all that I have pressed upon you the last few days. I assure you I have every intention to make it up to you, if you'd only let me. I only ever want you to be happy, and safe."
Taking a few deep breaths, you found the courage to look into his eyes. And finding yourself smiling you spoke softly, almost in a whisper. "I had begun to think I was lost to you forever."
He shook his head, "No. Never." Wiping away another stray tear he smiled at you, "I will never let you go again, I will never again be so foolish as to push away the thing I want most in the world. I would like you to be with me forever. If that is what you want."
You found yourself grinning at him, "It is all I want."
He let out a relieved laugh, and pulled your into his arms in a tight embrace. After a few moments of holding you in his arms, he pulled away, only to pull you into a passionate kiss, that you in the past had only dreamed of, but now, would be the first of many.
xx End xx
This was my first time writing for Bridgerton, I hope you enjoyed it! I hope to write for it a lot in the future, so if you'd like to be added to a taglist for the series (or a particular character) let me know!
*I have a multi-chapter fic series planned for a Benedict x Reader
If you did enjoy this, please consider reblogging or leaving a comment :)
I have an overwhelming desire to be in a dark, warm café, reading a tattered paperback, oblivious to both the rain pouring outside and the pretty person across the room, reading the exact same book.
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