homework @thomasthephotographer - Tumblr Blog

nevver

“I wasn’t doing any work that day, just catching up on my foot-dangling.” Dan Zollinger

nevver

Tower Heist, Toby Harriman

oliviadescampecollages-blog

“Nothing is real” Handmade decollage on paper.

nevver

Running with Twizzlers, Madeleine Morlet

theartofmoviestills

Chungking Express | Wong Kar-wai | 1994

oxane

kasapidis giorgos

theartofmoviestills

Kiki’s Delivery Service | Hayao Miyazaki | 1989

NEW PLACE. SAME ME.

#i feel cute today #notreally

yea I still use tumblr as a quick “people are stupid” thought process note taker. Get over it.

back here. once again.

I’m here because I have no where else to go and spill my guts. My emotions. The word vomit. I get a job and I get stressed out instantly. 0 to 100 over night. The demand is high and the responsibility is even higher. Right hand girl. Feeling, abused. Work abused. Emotionally abused. Most times, verbally abused. I go in early, and leave late. After 5. Mostly 7:30. Sometimes 8. Time with self. Limited. Guilt level: 10. He tells me that he is worried. He tells me that I stress him out. He tells me...he is happier when he is by himself, quote “when I am not around.” Guilt level: 100. Hate level 100. Hate self, 100. Personal time at level 2. Stress level at level 200, like everyone else. Bitch, complain, we’ve heard it all. Who gives a shit. Who do I talk to? No one. Who can I talk to? No one. Tell my mom, concerned. Tell my dad, possible pep talk. Tell him, pep talk with a side of attitude. Reaction: cry. Emotional. Guilt. Second guessing. Second guess my commitments, my career, where I move next, when I move next. Do I look for new work now? Do I move out now? Get out of the house. Where can I go out at night? No where. Could I get shot, robbed, molested? Yes. Should I drink? Maybe. Should I smoke? Probably. Is that all I got? Unfortunately. Judgement when on my phone, judgement with a side of “this is unhealthy for you” when I watch my shows. Go to my own space. I have no space. I have no furniture, no hideaway, no crafts, no “safe space.” Just my computer. Unfortunately my computer. The last thing I want to be in front of at the end of the day. I want to call friends but I have no one to call to lay the energy on. No one cares and everyone has their own issues. My life isn’t balanced and I’m rethinking everything. How do I choose my next step?

Do I sleep on the ground tonight?

I hate this.

as I get older I take less documented photos of myself. here is one from a week ago...

#i look cute today

mutant-distraction

Hell on Wheels: LIFE With Mutant Bicycles

folie-atwo

東京物語 Tokyo Story (1953, Yasujirō Ozu)

theleoisallinthemind

source: unknown

reflection on my life rn

it’s 2018.

things are honestly great. I am living my life as a 27 year old, with a job, a salary, in a city I love, with a boyfriend I adore, and a roommate that I can tolerate. I feel young, look young, think young, act young. I’m happy that I am not married, pregnant, bored, restless, or stuck in a life that I do not abide to. I am able to create, travel, lead, develop, enjoy the activities that I am apart of.

It’s weird to fall into a Facebook wormhole and reflect on your life through other individuals that you grew up with. It’s also very bizarre how Facebook causes me to admit to myself that where I am now with my life is amazing and how slow growth leads to a content state of being.

I am definitely not average, and I am certainly not a “basic” girl. My standards are high and I live in continuous state.

Ok. Later.