Those Two Chūnin

Incorrect quotes featuring Izumo, Kotetsu, Genma, Raidō and the rest of the squad

[those-two-guys]

Iruka: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one. Kakashi: Erm... it’s nice see your smile when you win! *later* Iruka: He's probably just staring at my ass, isn't he. Kotetsu: Yeah, probably.

[those-two-guys]

Iruka: This can’t get any worse. Can it? Kakashi: Sure it can - just give me a minute.

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Kotetsu: Do you love me? Izumo: We’re literally married. Kotetsu: Yeah, but as friends or—

[those-two-guys]

Kakashi: wow you and Kotetsu are back early from the movies. What happened? Izumo: We got kicked out because Kotetsu wouldn't stop yelling diving scores as people jumped off the titanic. Kotetsu: That last guy had a solid 8, I'm telling you!

[searay-artist]

A comic inspired by this incorrect quote post

[those-two-guys]

Izumo: Here is my wall of inspirational people. Kotetsu: Is that a picture of you? Izumo: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

[kkirincorrectquotes]

Shikamaru: Rokudaime, did you finish reviewing the documents I...

Kakashi *points to the tabloid cover: Did you know about this?

Shikamaru: "Umino Iruka, the Man Behind the Hero!"

Kakashi *reads out loud: "Widely considered the greenest of all flags amongst the eligible bachelors of Konoha, imaginations appear to run wide amongst our readers on what Iruka Sensei would be like if he was their significant other..

Anonymous S: I think he'll truly go into housewife mode when he is with his soulmate- like, he'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning."

Kakashi : This is a lie.

Kakashi : I'm literally dating him. This is a lie.

Kakashi : HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS!?

Shikamaru: ...I'll come back later.

[those-two-guys]

Izumo: Where did you get that tomato soup? Kotetsu: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

[those-two-guys]

Izumo: Are you packed for the mission? Kotetsu: Yup. Izumo: Then where's your bag? Kotetsu: All I’m bringing is a good attitude and a sense of adventure. Izumo: A change of underwear might be nice.

[those-two-guys]

Izumo: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Naruto without him noticing? Kotetsu: Hey, Naruto, I bet you 5 ryo that you can't swallow this penny. Naruto: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser. Izumo: ...

[those-two-guys]

Kakashi: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.

[those-two-guys]

Baki: I love all my students equally - Gary, Tia Maria and *looks at smudged handwriting* Canker Sore

[those-two-guys]

Iruka, over the radio: What’s up, Kakashi? Kakashi: I’m sitting in a pool of blood. Iruka: …Um, is it YOUR blood? Kakashi: I think so. Iruka: Do you know where the blood’s coming from? Kakashi: Probably the stab wound. Iruka: YOU’VE BEEN STABBED?! Kakashi: Oh, yeah, definitely.

[those-two-guys]

Iruka: This can’t get any worse. Can it? Kakashi: Sure it can - just give me a minute.

[those-two-guys]

Kotetsu: Urrrgh…I’ve never felt so sick in my entire life… Izumo: Ouch. Shit sucks, man. Kotetsu: I feel like I’m dying… Whyyyy… Izumo, under their breath: Because I want to go back to some peace and quiet in this house. Kotetsu: …DID YOU FUCKING POISON ME-

[those-two-guys]

Naruto: *Takes a sip of milk and gags* Naruto: Is this expired? Naruto: *Takes another sip of milk*

[those-two-guys]

Kakashi: I am working on this whole Good Guy thing, but anyone who cuts me in line at Ichiraku deserves to have their kneecaps shot out, okay?