horny on main @thot-slayer-iii - Tumblr Blog

I’m at the doctor office and this baby keeps yelling “I want donow” (mcdonalds) and the big brother (I assume) said “all the mcdonalds burnt down, there’s no more mcdonalds”

why are u gay

idk why are you ugly

that-twink-over-there

kaprika

pingo1387

rock-fish-deactivated20201231

he really is too, you do not know one damn thing abt how the dinosaurs interact with each other in the land before time world and then this dude comes in and immediately establishes that slurs are real and he intends to use them

chibiwhitemage

This post went in sd o many directions

reactionfaces

itsnoodle

reactionfaces

thehellspawnhero-deactivated202

shikseh

raccoonfootproductions

urbanuppercut

spanish-g0ld

dop3-peach-ringz-deactivated202

This whole post is a big big big mood

pan is just cursive bi

xdibstinkx

lachances-deactivated20241202

“Drake, where the doorhole?”

zagreus

Visit Original Link

owenology

i woke up in a cold sweat at 3am the other day with the thought “slender man is a trans icon” and i made these while only vaguely coherent

enjoy. or don’t i can’t make you like this post

owenology

this is the single greatest possible comment on this post and i’m mad i didn’t think of it myself

husband

It’s time for his wisdom

husband

/WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee

xb io tooooo; y km00

jk m mm mtg g 8g9iuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu *-++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ [.,-,……..[kpj;;;;/

husband

whitepeopletwitter

catsoverloaded

Midnight kitten made the evening ‘mews’ this evening while taking a nap.

c3rvida3

I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

drivablecar

If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.

c3rvida3

Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.

But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.

Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.

drivablecar

Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.

c3rvida3

First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again.

And second, where did I say I’d be lonely? I’d be a ghost on a motorcycle. That’s the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes.