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random shit i just post 😜

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we had a deep conversation yesterday and i think it just brought us closer and made our relationship stronger. i honestly wasn't gonna tell him my worries but i honestly think it was a good thing that i did because i was doubting myself for such a long time, turns out i was wrong and overthinking it. we spent the whole day together and yk 😉🥵 4x's!!! 🥰 since we aren't gonna be able to see each other until july.

i truly think i found my person and the feeling of knowing that i am truly loved is such a new feeling.

~ M

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if you want me to become a good daughter-in-law in the future, why can't i go to my boyfriend's parents place for a small gathering. at least i'll be able to see what kind of family i'm getting into and know what to expect from them right? if i am too sheltered and not able to see what kind of people they are BEFORE marriage, how can you be sure that my new life with them will be good?

as a daughter i know i shouldn't go over all the time but at least i should go and show face once in a while and kind of get to know them and so i won't be a total stranger to them when the day comes.

like i get that it won't be "good" but that was back in the day when it was a impolite thing to do but now in this modern day, its different. in fact they invited me to come to join them. even if it's not a HUGE event, it's still good to show face even at small events.

i can't be known as the future daugher-in-law who never showed up to family events in the past, i don't want that title on me.

i feel like this relates more on traditional asian families but i thought i should share.

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okay so it’s is weird for me to still be friends with my cousins ex boyfriends on social media? lofc i had things against them bc they were either a little crazy or super protective when they were dating my cousins. besides all that, is weird that i still have them on fb or ig? i mean my cousin never came and told me to unfriend them or anything but should i be considerate and just unfriend them anyways?

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you know what’s so funny. everybody is mid, like the people you personally think that is so gorgeous or hot, they’re honestly considered a mid to someone else💀 so in my opinion, i would say everyone is mid, except for me, i’m hot ✌️

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i think i’m getting better at teasing 👀 lols

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sex is great in general but damn, valentines sex was so fucking memorable i want that shit again 🫣🫣🤪

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it’s so annoying how i know what’s good for me and my mental health, and someone just brings it down with a few words. it makes me doubt myself and just think negatively about myself. sometimes i wish people can see how i view things based off of MY PERSPECTIVE and just don’t say anything. advice and guidance is allowed but don’t say something that will hurt me.

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random but i just gotta rant.

short story, so my bf’s ex accused him of cheating during their relationship and he even explained to her that he didn’t, he was mainly working and going to college at the time so he didn’t have time to talk to other girls. he stayed loyal but she just kept accusing him of cheating and other things. they came to a agreement to break it off but she was the one that ended up crying (frm what i heard). my bf was over it bc he had to deal with her negative abusive ass for 2 years.

anyways, a few days ago she send him a video of this couple getting into a fight bc one cheated on the other was caught, the person was begging and asking to stay and not break up.

so how my bf saw it (he showed me the video too) she was still being petty about it after not talking or seeing each other for 4 years.

i told him to not text her and just block her bc there’s no point but he was like “no i have to put her in her place because if she wanna be petty and accuse me of something that i didn’t do 4 years ago, imma be petty back.”

i understood why he did what he did but as his current gf i don’t like it, yes it’s a jealousy thing but it’s also a sign of respect for me if asked him to just block the person and not text them back.

he did show me what he texted and what she texted back so i know and am aware of the situation but still, it bugs me. i’m over it but not really over it yk? anyways rant over.

thoughts?

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so i’m really bad at showing my emotions to my bf and every time i do, i end up crying. like i want to be more open with him. we been dating for a year an few months now but i still can’t really express it. honestly the only time i do is whenever i’m drunk and it’s always chaotic. i feel bad bc he’s dealing with my emotions while i’m drunk/bipolar and horny 💀

he tries to listen and understand but sometimes i just cant bring myself to explain everything to him, like i sugarcoat it so much that sometimes it doesn’t make sense half of the time. i do love that he listens and gives me advice on what i’m trying to say but i just hate how stubborn i am and i’m just annoyed and angry with myself sometimes.

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okay so this is random but i just wanna say something about Le Sserafim performance to ‘Smart’. i personally LOVE the song. I love the afro-beat mixed in with the korean/english lyrics, not a lot of korean artist has come out with a song with afro-beat, so this is prolly one of my TOP songs atm.

MY MAIN ISSUE is the amount of ppl complaining that the dance was too “inappropriate” for Eunchae.😒 like what?? i watched the performance and to me, yes there was some booty shaking but it wasn’t like the choreo had them doing anything more obscure, literally just some booty shaking and body rolls.

i guess the main issue (according to netizens) is bc Eunchae is underage and is dancing “inappropriately” BUT really it’s just people who are sexualizing it. it won’t be a huge problem if a underage male idol was dancing “inappropriately”, he will be praised as “hot” or “sexy”. like bro made that make sense.

i know many ppl will agree with my statement that it wasn’t inappropriate, and that people just sexualize too many things 🙄

AND honestly for any afro-beat song you have to dance “sexy” ain’t no way ur gonna do a whole difference dance to that type of beat. (even tho it maybe possible)

- ❤️

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drama.

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i feel somewhat uncomfortable dirty dancing in public but whenever you “feel it” against you, fuck it 🫦

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i swear, i learn something new every time about the boyfriend 🍆

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im plus sized but i wish i had a more hourglass shape 🥲

i'm built like a🚪with "some" curves but i wanna be a ⏳so bad😫

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when the drama is leading up to something else that doesn’t make sense 💀 but gwaddamn

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i frr been sad sm lately, wonder if he’s noticed….

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tbh i kinda want to have angry sexs with my bf but whenever i try to irritate him and become a brat, he’s very patient and not short-tempered….like how tf do i make a patient man become angry for some angry sexs 😩😩