I love reading fics about OTPs having mental bonds and things like that, but they’re always so profound. It’d be so much more entertaining if they still thought like normal people. Imagine this stuff:
“You’ve had that song stuck in your head for days. It’s driving me nuts, too.”
“Why are you making a grocery list in your head while we’re having sex?”
“Is that really what you think about my ass?”
“Stop projecting so much belligerent boredom. I love this TV show.”
“No, you didn’t forget to lock the door. You can quit fixating on it now.”
“Yes, that sounds much better in your head.”
“Is that really who you’re daydreaming about naked?”
“Less homicidal thoughts about your annoying coworker right now, please. I’m in a meeting over here.”
“It’s coffee you’re craving. Go get some. And bring me some. You made me want it, too.”
“Thanks for the road rage thoughts. I’ll take the back roads home. See you in an hour.”
“If you think ‘knit, knit, purl,’ one more time, I’ll stab you with those needles.”
