A lot of people are asking about the eldritch diety kept in my back room that I mention on occasion, and really the story isn't all that interesting, but I'll tell you all anyway. Since you insist.
So basically, they're a minor diety of greed, but specifically of hoarding cursed objects. So their older sibling (minor diety of MAGICAL objects), THEY mainly hang around dragon hordes and whatnot, biggest horde being somewhere mid USA in this thing called the "cheese caves"? Idk. So they dont have to move around a bunch. But the thing about CURSED items is that they're pretty spread out, so in order to keep like powered up they were travelling alot, not putting down roots at all. This was pretty lonely, but hey, a god is nothing without power.
Then one day, I get an errant shipment from one of my suppliers called Nik Nak and its all just cursed items. Like 15 of them. And im like "Nik buddy, you gotta come back for these i dont sell cursed items" and he just hissed "giffftttttttttsssssss" and hung up so suddenly I had 16 cursed items total (I may own a whispering mirror just to see what rumors are out there about me. I can handle my personal yelp reviews.)
So 16 cursed items dump into the same person's possession and our god pal gets a sniff of a possibility to settle down! So of course, they're at my place in moments.
Imagine this: youre like 20 mins from opening your totally normal magic shop when you get a shipment of cursed items that will not be vacating the premises, and then your shop rapidly fills with an acrid black smoke and you hear "SSSIIXXTEEEENN ITEMMMSSSSSS" in your ear. I assumed that was the end for me. I just shut my eyes so I didn't see it kill me cuz im squeamish to blood, which is a silly thought in hindsight, but adrenaline is a helluva drug.
So after standing there for like at least 2 whole minutes I open one eye and the smoke has formed a like 5'2" blob who's just examining the cursed items happily. They turn to me and go "You keep?" and terrified I just nod. They flash me what I assume to be a grin and say "Good. I stay." and just carry on.
Resigned, I put a closed sign on the door and set to communicating with whatever this was, trying to get it to leave (because duh), but eventually agreeing on it staying in my store room with the cursed items.
Now we have an agreement: they identify any new cursed items that come in, and I never sell lower than 16 cursed items. (Truly, I could sell down to 8 and still be safe, but they feel weak with so few around them, and im not gonna torture a god.)
So that's the story for everyone who wanted to know! Now they're just a pain in the ass when customers come in. You ever seen venom? Imagine that, but everyone can hear them. Scares a lot of business away, which they think is veery funny.
