star wars blogging apparently

[jedifisto]

Redraw of this from exactly a year ago

[crow085]

[medusaceratops-deactivated20210]

u know how nothing bad ever happened bc anakin, idk, let the zillo beast eat palpatine in a rare good decision and the jedi never kicked ahsoka out of the order and everyone cried when she was knighted and she got epic togruta horns and maybe a giant wolf and is a part time babysitter. i know how that happened. i was there i was the zillo beast

[willowcrowned]

AU where Vader joins Luke at the end of ESB but all of Vader’s underlings are too scared to tell Palpatine that he deserted so they have to pretend Vader is still on their ship and hunting down rebels like Palpatine told him too for as long as they possibly can

[willowcrowned]

it’s absolutely crucial that at some point someone has to dress up in a full Darth Vader mask and suit and get on space skype with Palpatine, but since the only person they have who even begins to match Vader’s frame sounds like a soft bunny when they talk, they have someone else doing the voice off-camera

[willowcrowned]

Luke, Leia, and Vader catch wind of this while they’re hunting for Han and Vader has a brief freakout that Palpatine cloned him and was immediately ready to replace him, which Luke and Leia go along with because hey, it’s not weirder than anything else they’ve experienced. BUT Luke decides that they have to go rescue this new Vader too, because he’s also technically family and if Vader (original flavor) can change, then so can Cool Ranch Vader.

Cool Ranch Vader, who is three overworked and underpaid bridge techs in a trashbag, does not agree.

[willowcrowned]

#lmfao #those poor three techs in a trashbag #having to figure out on the fly how vader speaks to palpatine #when they're in private together #one of them insists that it'll be the same as in public #all bowing and my lording and shit #one of them is like no no what if they're really informal #they're super close after all #tech 1 argues back that if they'd been that close then vader wouldn't have deserted #meanwhile tech three is too panicked to get in on the argument #because they're secretly a rebel #and they're sending frantic messages to their rebel contacts#being like 'what the fuck do I do here' #'can you ask him for tips please please' (@mandaloriandy)

[betty-draper]

Hayden Christensen on set for Revenge of the Sith

[symeona]

Image description: it's three separate drawings of Darth Vader and Princess Leia. They're in the iconic scene where Vader tells Luke he's his father but Leia is in Luke's place. Vader says "Bail Organa never told you what happened to your father." And Leia responds with "Dad told me enough" and opens her fist to reveal she's holding sand. End of description.

[d3epfriedangels]

A paintover of the one, the only

[sy-fri]

Maul would have started kidnapping clones the SECOND he figured out their whole deal. What better way to defeat the Jedi than to take their slaves and liberate them. A clone would be like “I feel used, like my life is unimportant to my superiors. I am expendable to them” and maul would say something like “I understand, more than you know. Come with me and I will treat you like the REAL mandalorian warrior that you are” and holy SHIT dude war over. Brothers won’t fight brothers. Rex would see Tup or Fox or Fives across the field and just drop his blasters. Not again man. Because maul has a deep ingrained desire for companionship he would love those clones as best as he understood the concept.

Also he would NOT treat Echo like that. Cyborg who was in a state of insanity for a seemingly indefinite amount of time solidarity. Maul would see Crosshair treat echo the way he does ONCE and it would be done.

[jgvfhl]

*vibrates at a Normal frequency* Oh yes I've had ideas about this... a normal amount of ideas....

[starpeace]

i love star wars posts because they periodically remind me how much of the star wars in my head i’ve just made up

[starpeace]

so was anyone going to tell me naboo’s elected child monarchs, clearly an intensely desperate attempt to evade corruption or accusations of corruptions, AREN’T canonically put forward as a product by conniving dedacent wealthy families who invest their extensive resources into manipulating that system by a) intensely educating and training their own young candidates and b) assassinating everyone else’s

[starpeace]

ideally i’d like padme to be the daughter of such self-serving politicians as described above, but mentored by an idealistic advisor desperately trying to instill actual values into her beyond “fulfilling my parents’ investment by supporting them with my policy decisions”, which is where you get the absolutely deranged situation where a fourteen year old girl is in power and also thinks it’s her job to be the only pillar of morality in a planet’s government (and also this job is so important that’s it’s clearly impressed on her from age like 8 that all her little kid best friends can should and will die for her at any moment). now that’s how you develop the necessary cornerstone of padme’s character which is the absolute worst case of ‘i can fix him, and also the galaxy’ disease in the world. bonus points if the advisor gets killed by the trade federation in tpm and suddenly she’s only got palpatine to look to for guidance

[starpeace]

@courtofchaos yes yes yes. god that rules. yes so tpm’s conflict about defending naboo would play exactly into the personal conflict outlined above. “i will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war” desperate to hold to her morals, actively in defiance of her family’s interests. and later having her family’s weapons in the hands of both sides of the clone wars, even...

@plutopuppets for SURE. first of all, this setup implies a certain family pressure to produce children who can be put forward for election. as we can assume that barely legitimate secret children whose very existence calls padmé’s loyalties into question are not ideal candidates, that’s not only a great conflict for padmé, but also a reason she would probably unwillingly find herself attracted to anakin and this doomed romance. under other circumstances, she would probably still feel unfortunately duty bound to raising a good monarch for naboo’s sake, but this frees her and her children from those expectations. this all has implications for how we the audience feel about the central role the twins do end up taking in galactic politics, especially leia, who became both a rebel and part of the imperial senate from a young age. (side note, you have to wonder if padmé’s canonical nieces were being raised as candidates in the prequels era, and how padmé and her sister (presumably a rejected candidate, or at least the family spare) feel about that.)

i think in this au, if she still wanted to raise her children on naboo, the draw of it would be allowing them to enjoy the freedom she so rarely experienced, giving them the life there she wishes she could’ve had. but she might well wish to raise them somewhere else, outside of all this. alderaan, perhaps, which would have interesting implications

[dandylyn]

been thinking about that concept art of shaak ti where she has the all black sclera, and wondering how it might’ve looked on ‘soka

[troutdraw]

han solo? best damn braider in the galaxy. he once braided an entire wookie in twelve [improper units of measurement]

[muguathepapaya]

332nd team building exercises on Scariff, playing some space!football. (Fives succeeds, palpatine dies, everyone else lives AU)

Another top gun x Star Wars piece. :) (see top gun maverick)

this took me many many hours and felt like it would never end, so please see the details

[dashedwithromance]

chomping at the bit thinking about ahsoka’s markings. the symbol of your own face, growing and evolving as you too evolve - and possibly the most prominent memory of them, of your literal signifier, is of your own markings and colours trying to gun you down, wielded like noble favours by men you love as they try to kill you. and then— and then it doesn’t stop. you try and reclaim the shape of your own face for the rebellion, your life’s work. you keep going. you use your markings as a sign to the galaxy, that there are voices to be heard and people listening and perhaps there is even hope. and then you die, perhaps not literally but definitely effectively, killed by another lost, dearly-loved brother, and your sign becomes just another ghost. the only thing that exists of you, aside from the memory of a scant few, is the same shape and colour as those that tried to kill you long ago. how do you ever look in the mirror again?

[jejejijiju]

Drunken commanders discussing the best way to kill the chancellor

[rhinestonex]

Din “Armani suit” Djarin: so… you don’t even have any armor under your robes?

Luke “Chanel boots” Skywalker: oh god no that would totally mess with my silhouette

[softieskywalker]

luke signing his jedi academy as a preschool in every government form to avoid paying the tax bracket assigned to religious organizations since the new republic is a secular government. known tax evader luke skywalker lying about his student's ages (what do you mean jacen syndulla is 15, he's just that tall because he's half twi'lek!) and mind tricking the government agents that realize he's pulling a gigantic scam.

[lesbianjedi]

#remeber kids luke grew up in tatooine and then fought in a guerrilla#this man's only sense of morality comes from the destined forces of good and evil#he doesn't give a shit about your government rules leia#yes i know you're also evading taxes as a princess miss i don't have a planet anymore but retain my royal title

aren't all skywalkers tax evaders? padmé went from queen straight to senator to avoid paying those high fortune taxes, and i'm sure as hell vader wasn't paying anyone taxes for his lava mansion. luke is just doing his best

[softieskywalker]

WHAT IF nobody told luke that his taxes are paid in like, credits, and not water like it was in tatooine!!! his concept of paying taxes is the hutts arbitrary charging farmers a portion of their water harvest if they felt like it, he doesn't know that the same money the republic is giving him to feed his herd of force sensitive children is the same money he would be paying back. he heard someone like din or boba say tax money finances xwing cops and since he already fucking hates the xwing is not symbol of fighting for freedom but now is enforcing the status quo, he ain't paying them shit!! not my hard earned water!!! nevermind the jedi academy is in like a jungle planet with unlimited access to water.

[softieskywalker]

the new republic's like luke skywalker, the last jedi, hero of the rebellion, spark of hope and goodness!!! and senator leia organa has to be like they don't know my brother is a criminal. he's the most wanted individual in the outer rim.

random senator: because he's a jedi?

leia: for fraud and tax evasion.

[artbowls]

Who’s got the high ground now, Obi-Wan?